There is nothing to wait for

i think we all WAIT for things to happen. but as drinkers, it gets worse.

We wait ’til Monday to start a diet. We wait for the phone to ring. We check our email to see if something interesting is happening OUT there. We wait.

As drinkers, somewhere along the line, we give up and we stopped doing the reaching out, and instead we do the waiting.

I think alcohol makes us draw more into ourselves, and we forget to do the reaching out.

We forget that if life is like a car, then we’re the one driving it. it’s like we’ve pulled the car over for some self-examination, and now we’re waiting for someone ELSE to come along and say ‘it’s OK, you can start driving again’.

Well no shit, it’s your life. (my life, whatever). no one comes and says ‘PS, don’t forget to keep driving, don’t waste time sitting around waiting.’

No one shakes us and says ‘stop looking back, stop looking around, start looking FORWARD’.

So I guess we’re here to do that for each other. There’s nothing to wait for.

Time to make things happen.

oh god, this might just inspire me to make puff pastry and check on my health insurance and file my husband’s taxes for last year.

and you?


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • I’m here and I’m doing this too. Day 37. Am reading your blog entries in order from the beginning, following you on this tough journey. You’re right, there’s nothing to wait for so I am commenting and it feels like a huge deal.

  • Thank you for shaking me awake and reminding me that the light has turned green. Green means go! go go go! I won’t get distracted and make a U turn, I’ll keep going forward, no matter how slow.

  • It’s interesting. To my mind the only thing you can wait for if you are already sober is to no longer be sober? But you actually don’t want to go there. I think the moment you decide you are not drinking anymore, the waiting is over. Your situation was probably a bit different with the dry July starting idea, so there was something to wait for, but if someone says, no more for me, then hoepfully they have arrived. But then what is the journey so many refer to? Life? That’s an interesting journey. And i agree, don’t wait to start! Even taxes can be considered an accomplishment when they are done. Take care belle, Paul.

  • Yes we stumble through life half anaethetized (whatever, no spell check) most of the time. What a waste. But no more!
    PS Actually doing my taxes today – how weird is that!

  • So true, Belle. Big stress, waiting for Dan to get a job, waiting to move house/county/country, waiting til i can start applying for jobs, i’ve been waiting since last november and it’s boring. Am i there yet?
    My whole life is in limbo, and ironically it feels as though booze is about the only thing i have control over right now. I think actually influencing one area of my life was a real motivator in finally taking that first step in April.

    • imogen, i can imagine you (easily) saying “i’ll wait until…” and yet you haven’t, you’re doing it now. there is no waiting : ) there is no perfect time. there’s only this car on the highway going forward. and i say “let’s go, bring it on!”

  • Good morning Belle!
    I agree with how alcohol draws us into ourselves. I feel more social and at ease to go out there and reach out to others instead of waiting. For example, last night my neihbour was sitting at the park, alone and I could tell that she seemed sad. I went over to her to see if she was alright and she had a total meltdown. Told me about some things she was going through and decisions she had to make. It felt so nice to be able to really hear her and comfort her. I

    • how kind of you to reach out to a friend … and i think alcohol does create this cocoon around us … and it takes awhile to figure out how to ‘reach out’ again … looks like you’re doing it …