i still have moments where i think of drinking, in an abstract way. Not “I need wine right now” but more “this is what i usually do in this time period, in this circumstance.”
For example, there’s a half-jug of mixed cocktails in the fridge from last week’s dinner, and i wish that my husband would drink it. I keep looking at it thinking that i was STOOPID to make that amazing homemade cocktail and not set aside some for myself before adding the gin. i really would have loved a virgin serving.
And now when i open the fridge, i see the half-pitcher there, gin already mixed in, and i’d like to — ok this sounds strange but i’m just going to say it — i’d like to “eat the leftovers, clean my plate, finish the bottle, get that over and done with, finish this up.”
I have been tempted by this half-jug of cocktails, but in the “i’d like to clean this up” way, rather than in the “i’d like to get a buzz” way. what a weird OCD flash this is. Let’s “clean this up” my head says, and that would allow me to finish a glass of beer, the last inch in the bottle, the rest of the mixed cocktails… so now i’m wondering if anyone else has/had thoughts of “this can’t go to waste” that led them to drinking more than they wanted?