what if alcohol was a ‘place’

alcohol is like a place.  it’s where I go after dinner.  it’s where I go on vacation. it takes me to a tunnel of fuzzy numbness. it takes me away from here. it’s a place I go in my mind.

if alcohol was a place, I want to say now that I DON’T GO THERE ANYMORE.

i don’t go to the fuzzy, hiding, numb place. I don’t go to the artificially loud, thinking all of my jokes are hilarious, place. I don’t go to the place where i feel crummy the next day – both physically and emotionally.

I’m not sure all the time where i’m going instead, but not knowing — and occasionally feeling completely lost — has to be better than going THERE.


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • This is the post that changed my thinking and will change my life. I thought drinking was an activity, that drinking was what I “did” every night and how would I ever fill all those hours. Truth be told, the activity is actually reading or watching something on my iPad or writing. The vodka was just an accessory. Not I know it’s not a place and not an activity. Hooray! Thank you!

  • Well said, “This is exactly how I feel. I wake up hungover and feeling horrible, then say, “I am not going this crap again”, then before I know it, I’m a bottle or two of wine in, that “fuzzy place”, until I have had too much and then it starts all over again. I feel like I have missed so much of my life, my children’s lives because I decided to vacation in Merlot Canyon every day.

  • This is a great analogy! Alcohol is the place I go every night right after work. In that place I don’t miss all the things that are missing in my life – family, friends, exercise, a tidy home, reading, hobbies, cooking. Instead of trying to bring them back into my life, I hide in “wine country” every night. It’s also my weekend destination, even more. But you know what? I’m tired of it. Too tired. Today I received your PDF for month #1 and I’m reading it. Thank you! I will sign up for the 100 day challenge. I have tried so many things before, including AA and hospitals. They work for awhile, then I relapse: 1 glass, than 2 glasses a few days later. The next thing I know, I’m back to a bottle a day every day. The only reason I don’t open a second is that I buy one bottle at the time. If I had a wine cellar, I would have killed myself of acute alcohol poisoning already. Tonight I didn’t drink. I’m reading your blog instead.

  • That is the PERFECT analogy! Alcohol is the place I go every night to get away. I am on day 22 now. Staying away from that place got easier for a few days, but now it is getting harder to stay away. I finally opened the month one and two PDFs you sent to read and see if it gets easier soon.
    Thank you for being here!

  • I agree completely. I’m beginning to lose some friendships because they think I’m saying, “YOU can go there, but I’m not coming with you,” which I sort of am. This travel was the underlying thing that connected us.

  • Nice analogy, I like it. Lets treat this other place we are going to as an adventure holiday. It’s not known, its not all easy, but its going to be exciting and interesting and will challenge and change us forever. Enough enough with the predictable places of old.