this is day 12 for me, and i’m having a weak day. i know that there will be good days and bad days. and that bad days don’t mean that i am going to drink. it’s still my first impulse, though. i know that sometime that will fade. but not yet.
i am having lots of things in my life that are making me sad, all on the same day. family illness, computer failure, crummy not-summery-weather. i also slept in today, perhaps too late, and so i’ve been dragging all day.
crying seemed to help. and it’s 6 pm here, european time. it’d be normal for me to have a glass of wine right now. more than normal, it’s what i’ve always done. instead. instead i’m trying to rescue a dead computer, i’m going to roast a chicken for dinner. i’m going to drink some more tea. i’m going to have a bath. and i’m going to count on tomorrow being easier.
i’m glad i’m on day 12 and not on day 2. but i do feel like going to bed and crawling under the covers to HIDE…