staying ‘stuck’

What do I gain by staying ‘stuck’ in my old ways?

If I stay the same, it keeps me in the pack of everyday-ness. I can just remain a dreamer / non-achiever like everyone else. If I’m successful in making big changes, my family might be jealous, needy, or hostile.

If I stay the same, I can talk about “what could have been” instead of actually doing the work …


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • Hi Belle,

    This post really hit home for me. This is me, on Day 2. I’ve realized that you’re right about staying “stuck”. One of my triggers is definitely other people’s reactions to my strength and accomplishment. I am really proud of the fact that I got myself where I am. Sometimes, when you shine brightly, it reminds others around you of their own failures, and so, they try to knock you down or derail you in order to feel better about themselves. I’ve decided that I’m not going to let that happen ever again. Once someone slams the door in my face, I can just open it, and walk by them. I dont have to let everyone in.

    I can just be myself, and choose to surround myself with supportive, positive people, who believe in me.

    Being present for my life is an accomplishment in and of itself. I’m happy to be here.

    Thanks again, Belle.


  • So true Belle,
    It is the life long fear of what lies beneath that keeps me stuck to day 1. What if there is only dreams and no fabulous potential behind all that alcohol. What if my sober self is average, boring and unable to reach anywhere near those heights i dream of?
    At least alcohol keeps that truth from me…
    I think I hear you streaming “drink a cup of toughen up Willow, and find out!”
    Thanks for you omnipresence xxx

    • what if your sober self is average? what if you hate being sober? what if it’s wonderful and you love it (or what if it’s wonderful and you hate it?). only one way to find out. be sober. then assess 🙂

  • Good questions, Tired.
    Same ones I’m struggling with. I think deep down we both know what the answers are, though.