Monday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Nixie!

Happy Day 50 to Birdsetfree!

Happy Day 50 to Mia!

Happy Day 50 to Hallacious!

Happy Day 50 to Sobriety Shingles!

Happy Day 50 to Nicola!

Happy Day 50 to MsMay!

Happy Day 50 to KittyKate!

Happy Day 50 to Oriole!

Happy Day 100 to Wafflehousemomma!

Happy Day 100 to AverageJoe!

Happy Day 100 to Bug June!

Happy Day 180 to Undrunken Dan!

Happy Day 180 to SoberinVa!

Happy Day 180 to Jaylee!

Happy Day 180 to MrsRoberts!

Happy Day 180 to Mindful Monica!

Happy Day 200 to Lime Tree!

Happy Day 200 to MelMel!

Happy Day 200 to Wynn!

Happy Day 200 to Sophiestar!

Happy Day 200 to Mamahope!

Happy Day 200 to Jazzie!

Happy Day 300 to Genie!

Happy Day 300 to Lola4126!

Happy Day 365 to Rasberrikiss! 

Happy Day 400 to Dry Ginger!

Happy Day 500 to Auds!

Happy Day 800 Jenuhful!

Happy Day 847 to Faye858!

Happy Day 900 to FunCar13!

Happy Day 900 to Indian Lake!

Happy Day 900 to Mahatma JoJo!

Happy Day 955 to Joannie!

Happy Day 1000 to Canadian Girl!

Happy Day 1000 to Festie!

Happy Day 1100 to Sharlotte!

Happy Day 1100 to SanFranSober!

Happy Day 1100 to Mizgabz!

Happy Day 1200 to Jessi!

Happy Day 1300 to Denise!

Happy Day 1300 to Hazeleyes!

Happy Day 1400 to Jenisthesoberist!

Monday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Frog!

Happy Day 50 to Golden Pond!

Happy Day 50 to Mack!

Happy Day 50 to SusanMarie!

Happy Day 50 to GaGalGoingDry!

Happy Day 100 to Cowboy!

Happy Day 100 to Goldie!

Happy Day 100 to TimShel!

Happy Day 100 to Julianne!

Happy Day 100 to Springer!

Happy Day 180 to Peaceable J!

Happy Day 180 to LizzyTish!

Happy Day 180 to SarahJune31!

Happy Day 200 to Gem64!

Happy Day 200 to Bruna!

Happy Day 200 to Princess Buttercup!

Happy Day 300 to TJS!

Happy Day 300 to Poppy!

Happy Day 300 to Topo Chico!

Happy Day 300 to Ruby!

Happy Day 365 to HollyKate!

Happy Day 400 to Miss Kell!

Happy Day 400 to Jessee!

Happy Day 400 to Reenie!

Happy Day 400 to Imara!

Happy Day 500 to KLC!

Happy Day 500 to Country Pat!

Happy Day 600 to JP!

Happy Day 600 to Thirsty Iris!

Happy Day 700 to Cal!

Happy Day 800 to cheaton!

Happy Day 800 to Monty!

Happy Day 800 to TK!

Happy Day 900 to MelP!

Happy Day 900 to The Solstice Guy!

Happy Day 1000 to Graceb!

Happy Day 1100 to Sarah72!

Happy Day 1200 to Julie-Joy’s Dad!

Happy Day 1200 to Isabel!

Happy Day 1300 to TheFun4!

Happy Day 1300 to Terence!

Happy Day 1300 to Clear Eyed Girl!

Happy Day 1300 to Tim!

Happy Day 1807 to me! (that’s 1,355 bottles of wine not consumed… oh my god)

Thursday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Arya!

Happy Day 50 to Renne in Rochester!

Happy Day 50 to Rehc!

Happy Day 50 to Mickie!

Happy Day 50 to SDBKatz!

Happy Day 50 to Skeeziks!

Happy Day 50 to ceemac!

Happy Day 50 to -L.!

Happy Day 50 to Little Red!

Happy Day 50 to Tea!

Happy Day 50 to Pahobe!

Happy Day 50 to Sandal!

Happy Day 50 to Octa!

Happy Day 50 to Sobergirl72!

Happy Day 50 to Bonkers!

Happy Day 50 to KareBear!

Happy Day 100 to Newg!

Happy Day 100 to DMcBee!

Happy Day 100 to airbear!

Happy Day 100 to winefreeme!

Happy Day 100 to Brisgal!

Happy Day 100 to BG!

Happy Day 100 to Leigh Ann!

Happy Day 100 to lovinrunnin!

Happy Day 100 to Alicat!

Happy Day 100 to Superkitty!

Happy Day 100 to 35&changing!

Happy Day 100 to hernoodlyness!

Happy Day 100 to jacci2!

Happy Day 100 to honeybadger!

Happy Day 100 to sobersparkles!

Happy Day 100 to MrsWooly!

Happy Day 100 to Captain E!

Happy Day 100 to Airbear!

Happy Day 100 to Donohuli!

Happy Day 180 to MelMel!

Happy Day 180 to Wynn!

Happy Day 180 to mamahope!

Happy Day 180 to Sophiestar!

Happy Day 180 to Lime Tree!

Happy Day 180 to Jazzie!

Happy Day 180 to Gem64!

Happy Day 180 to Bruna!

Happy Day 180 to Princess Buttercup!

Happy Day 200 to SueW!

Hapy Day 200 to Nowinemom!

Happy Day 200 to Roadtosoberville!

Happy Day 200 to KiKi71!

Happy Day 200 to Honey Bear!

Happy Day 200 to Maggie Mae!

Happy Day 200 to Resiliensea!

Happy Day 200 to Stillbridge!

Happy Day 200 to True.d.true!

Happy Day 200 to Elyn Jones!

Happy Day 200 to Becca1978!

Happy Day 200 to LD4ME!

Happy Day 300 to Hollm!

Happy Day 300 to Reg!

Happy Day 300 to Bemmy girl!

Happy Day 300 to Battlematt!

Happy Day 300 to *Maverick!

Happy Day 300 to Molly Jones!

Happy Day 300 to April!

Happy Day 300 to Jaded!

Happy Day 300 to RachelB!

Happy Day 300 to Froggy Google!

Happy Day 300 to Unduped!

Happy Day 300 to Frupa63!

Happy Day 300 to Tsilver!

Happy Day 300 to VMD Free!

Happy Day 300 to Deborahlynn!

Happy Day 300 to Lippy!

Happy Day 300 to Lua!

Happy Day 300 to MG7!

Happy Day 365 to Leftcoastgirl!

Happy Day 365 to Edi!

Happy Day 365 to Rivets!

Happy Day 365 to BethBeth!

Happy Day 365 to Cindyb!

Happy Day 365 to Dry Ginger!

Happy Day 400 to Conn!

Happy Day 400 to Indigo50!

Happy Day 400 to KatieMay!

Happy Day 400 to Clearlee!

Happy Day 500 to Lanza!

Happy Day 500 to Boo!

Happy Day 500 to Chell!

Happy Day 500 to Joziegurrl!

Happy Day 500 to Franny!

Happy Day 500 to Husband #1!

Happy Day 500 to Terri!

Happy Day 500 to SoberinMtl!

Happy Day 500 to ScrubJay!

Happy Day 500 to binkles!

Happy Day 500 to Elis!

Happy Day 500 to Lydster!

Happy Day 500 to TrixeeK!

Happy Day 600 to Gypsygirl!

Happy Day 600 to Tree!

Happy Day 600 to Lucia!

Happy Day 600 to Julejean123!

Happy Day 600 to RossFSU!

Happy Day 700 to Gordon!

Happy Day 700 to Unwinedgal!

Happy Day 700 to Kai!

Happy Day 700 to Meraki!

Happy Day 700 to Heya Monster!

Happy Day 700 to Shorttermnoterm!

Happy Day 700 to Liberte!

Happy Day 700 to AnnieB!

Happy Day 700 to YoungerNow!

Happy Day 700 to AnnaD!

Happy Day 800 to DW!

Happy Day 800 to Julie-Joy’s Sister!

Happy Day 832 to me-fixing-me!

Happy Day 900 to Summer Walking!

Happy Day 900 to Chace!

Happy Day 900 to Southern Magnolia 1013!

Happy Day 1000 to Mak!

Happy Day 1000 to Paris!

Happy Day 1000 to Shout444!

Happy Day 1000 to Midwestveggie!

Happy Day 1000 to Rah!

Happy Day 1000 to RoseMarie!

Happy Day 1000 to Janna!

Happy Day 1000 to Jacqui!

Happy Day 1000 to Petunia!

Happy Day 1000 to Dancing Rabbit!

Happy Day 1000 to Microlady!

Happy Day 1000 to AlexP!

Happy Day 1000 to Chefstarr!

Happy Day 1000 to Monique!

Happy Day 1000 to iphonebonnie!

Happy Day 1000 to Chachi!

Happy Day 1000 to Nomorepinot!

Happy Day 1100 to Jon!

Happy Day 1100 to CassieB!

Happy Day 1100 to Shelby!

Happy Day 1100 to Weenie!

Happy Day 1100 to Via51214!

Happy Day 1100 to 1111!

Happy Day 1100 to Manda!

Happy Day 1100 to Sober Lemon!

Happy Day 1100 to PP!

Happy Day 1100 to Foxie!

Happy Day 1100 to Renee!

Happy Day 1200 Daybird!

Happy Day 1200 Allison!

Happy Day 1200 LolaB!

Happy Day 1200 Connie!

Happy Day 1200 Fich!

Happy Day 1200 Hank!

Happy Day 1200 Aschae!

Happy Day 1200 Emery!

Happy Day 1200 Going2pieces!

Happy Day 1200 Apprentice SoberP!

Happy Day 1200 Blake!

Happy Day 1300 to Baby Girl Butterfly!

Happy Day 1300 to Primrose!

Happy Day 1300 to Sadie!

Happy Day 1300 to SignGurl!

Happy Day 1300 to Jeannie Yogini!

Happy Day 1300 to Jilly Bean!

Happy Day 1300 to Kirst!

Happy Day 1300 to Myleen!

Happy Day 1400 to Sharon!

Happy Day 1400 to LD!

Happy Day 1400 to Laurie!

Happy Day 1400 to Durf11!

Happy Day 1500 to Kate Sober Journalist!

Happy Day 1500 to JM!

Happy Day 1800 to thirteenpointone!

it was a baseball bat

from my inbox:

this is from B (day 299).

“I used to think that booze was medicine, that it would help me with life’s ills. I was compelled to drink because if I didn’t then something terrible would happen – I would have to face real life sober.  Even if I didn’t feel like drinking, I would still drink because I had to take my medicine or I would get sick from the full force of my life.

I was terrified of getting sober, of how I would cope with the world without my medicine, and it has been really really hard sometimes because the full force of life can be harsh. But fucking hell it can be amazing too, this sober life!  … and of course I have realised that booze wasn’t a medicine at all, it was a baseball bat that I would hit myself over the head with, over and over again until I fell unconscious. As I enjoy the real privilege of a sober life, of being fully present and being able to work on myself to become the best version of me that I can, that suddenly seems like the saddest thing in the world. I don’t do that any more. I have learned to take care of me.

Recently I’ve been passing through a time when I’m far enough away from day one to have forgotten what it was really like. The hangovers, the shame, the health fears, the isolation, struggling through a work day, struggling through any time that I wasn’t drinking, worrying about how much I was drinking, whether people could tell how much I was drinking, which shop to get today’s booze from so I wasn’t rumbled as a boozer, hiding the recycling, hiding my drinking, hiding my best self. I’ve been going through a phase where I have been remembering ‘the good times’, like a relationship break up where you start to remember the fun you had, conveniently forgetting all of the stuff that led to the break up.

Well that’s all bollocks. If there ever was a time when booze and I got along, that time passed a long time ago and won’t ever come back again. But I don’t think there ever was a time when it was ok – it’s all just stupid Wolfie lies.  I am through with believing that bastard Wolfie, if I hadn’t clung to my sober supports I know I would have been sucked in, and I would be sat here now all alone, without you, without my self esteem, right back to where I was, feeling shit about myself and my life.

Emailing you, Belle, every day has been my number one sober support. Knowing that you genuinely care and getting your replies and suggestions (which are always right of course because you are a genius) has been the thing that worked where nothing else did before. And looking at the stuff you produced in your early days and the stuff you produce now and seeing how far you have come gives me real proper hope. And hearing about you having difficult things happen helps makes it all feel real and doable.  Imperfection is required – booze is not.

Love to you Belle, and all the gratitude in the world to you for standing by my side while I go through this amazing transformation. Your virtual hugs keep me going 🙂 ~ B”

 

Audio: BBC Radio London with Eddie Nestor (May 3, 2017)

turns out i was on the radio twice yesterday (yeah, that never happens). for the second one, my cell phone rings, and it’s: “can you talk for 5 minutes about being a sober coach, and can you get a penpal from London to come on too?” turns out the answer was YES.

what you will hear in this audio is a recording from BEHIND THE SCENES. You hear the show going on, you hear the producer saying “Belle, we’ll have you on in just a second” and you can hear what it sounded like from my side of the microphone (I was on skype in Paris while they’re recording in London). Then at the end, when they’re ‘done’ with me, you can hear penpal Tom continue onward.

Total length is about 7 minutes from start to finish, though my voice doesn’t begin until 2 minutes in, so be patient 🙂

(this audio was also sent out for free as an MP3 file to podcast subscribers and to daily one-minute message subscribers)

 

 

3 May 2017 – BBC Radio London – presenter Eddie Nestor

 

dear alcohol: you lied to me

from my inbox

email from TickleMeShelmo (day 26):

“Dear alcohol,

Firstly, this is the hardest decision I’ve ever made, but make it I must. It’s over. We are finished.

For years I thought we were amazing together. Life with you made the world seem more colourful. You made me feel whole, feel important and feel loved by those we met. You have me the strength to do things I’d never have done without you. 

There was a reason for that.

You lied to me, all of this time. Lie after lie after lie. You told me I was funny, but I wasn’t – I was attention seeking and shaming myself and others. I would share secrets and inappropriate and intimate details because you said it was ok. You told me I could do what I liked – but the casual sex, the flirting, the drug taking – it damaged me more than I’ll ever know. You told me that responsibilities were bullshit – and now I’m trying to sort out years of debt and irresponsible decision making.

The whole time I believed you were showing me real life. Life in glorious colour; busy; hectic; fucked up; hedonistic. But it was a lonely, sad life of hidden pain and selfishness.

The things you told me were just bullshit lies to keep me with you. There’s an odd feeling of achievement in the little things in life; clean washing, an early night, a monogamous relationship, a well cooked meal, holding hands with someone you love. Life without you is calm and peaceful. Don’t mix that up with boring – it isn’t. It’s fun. It’s reliable. It’s better.

So this is goodbye. It’s not me – it’s you.”

[update: she’s on day 618 today]


 

links:

do i have to count days?

Here’s an extract from the  book

do i have to count days

from Clementine: “Why do you think it’s important to have continuous sober time? Why is it more valuable to have 60 days in a row, than to have 29 days, a week off drinking, and then 29 more days (like me)?”

~

me:
I think day counting is important because each day represents a day when you said NO. You are building a wall between the ‘you’ back there, and the ‘new you’ over here, and so every sober day is a new brick in that wall. 

There are many forums and online communities that have pledges like “let’s plan to do 15 out of 30 days sober this month,” but they are not continuous days.

This doesn’t help us; we don’t get anywhere. On the days we’re not drinking, we are waiting to drink again. It’s like holding your breath and going underwater for a day. 

To me, the reason for a longer goal (100 days) is that you have to actually go forward and learn something. Once you remove the booze, you practise new things like self-soothing, treats, and learning to change the channel in your head. 

If you don’t pay attention to your sober momentum, then any day can be a drinking day or a sober day. By counting, you’re saying to Wolfie: “I’m not doing this. I’m getting the hell out of here. As far as I can, far away from you. One sober day at a time.”

 

Monday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to JenJen!

Happy Day 50 to wafflehousemomma!

Happy Day 50 to Bug June!

Happy Day 50 to Cowboy!

Happy Day 50 to Goldie!

Happy Day 100 to NatureNancy!

Happy Day 100 to RedRedWine!

Happy Day 100 to Ninabear!

Happy Day 100 to Aimee!

Happy Day 100 to Kaycee!

Happy Day 100 to Lotus Lady!

Happy Day 100 to SandraS!

Happy Day 100 to La Sobria!

Happy Day 100 to Namaste25!

Happy Day 180 to KiKi71!

Happy Day 180 to Honey Bear!

Happy Day 180 to Maggie Mae!

Happy Day 180 to Resiliensea!

Happy Day 180 to Stillbridge!

Happy Day 200 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 200 to Capt. Unwined!

Happy Day 200 to Lerawk!

Happy Day 200 to Tiger2017!

Happy Day 200 to Lex!

Happy Day 200 to Honoring Grace!

Happy Day 300 to TT!

Happy Day 300 to Tierrazul!

Happy Day 300 to Nomobsing!

Happy Day 365 to Miss Kell!

Happy Day 365 to Reenie!

Happy Day 365 to Imara!

Happy Day 365 to Indigo50!

Happy Day 500 to Fern!

Happy Day 500 to Coco!

Happy Day 600 to Ami!

Happy Day 700 to Whitbell25!

Happy Day 700 to Beck!

Happy Day 700 to Ginette!

Happy Day 700 to Lilac!

Happy Day 800 to mythreesons!

Happy Day 800 to Honner!

Happy Day 800 to Gingerade!

Happy Day 800 to SophieSomething!

Happy Day 900 to Joannie!

Happy Day 900 to Chace!

Happy Day 1100 to Battersea Park!

Happy Day 1100 to Welles!

Happy Day 1100 to Gra!

Happy Day 1100 to SusieQ!

Happy Day 1100 to IrishDee!

Happy Day 1200 to DeeN!

Happy Day 1200 to FitFatFood!

Happy Day 1200 to Moore!

Happy Day 1200 to Crispy!

Happy Day 1300 to InNeedOfGrace!

Happy Day 1500 to Rebecca!

Happy Day 1500 to Digs!

Happy Day 1600 to Amy!

 

024. Worth It

Sometimes, when you’re trying to quit drinking, the voice in your head can get really loud. So I send out free one minute audio messages of encouragement (and ass-kicking) to anyone who wants them. This is a transcript of One Minute Message #024.


024. Worth It

I’d like to go into your head for just a minute
and re-program something, if you don’t mind.
I’ll just slip in one ear and come back out the other.
And while I’m inside, I want to change one thing.

This is worth doing
because you are worth it.
Being sober is worth doing
because you are worth it.

Any shitty sober day
is better than a new Day 1.
And any improvement that you can make
to the quality of your life
is worth it for you.

You don’t have to do it for your family
you don’t have to do it for your kids
you don’t have to do it for anybody

you doing it for you is enough.

I go in one ear and I say:
This is worth doing
because you are worth it —
and then I come out the other ear
and I leave you.



*listen to the free one minute messages (there are 200+), by logging into your gumroad library here. if you haven’t signed up for the free one minute messages before, you can do that here (you only need to sign up once and then you get access to all of the OMMs).


~ shameless commercial link: take some action. podcast subscription. 1-2 longer audios per week. i’ve set it up so that it’s low-risk and safe and easy, and the subscription is controlled by you (which means you can turn it off whenever you like).

Friday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to TimShel

Happy Day 50 to MsM!

Happy Day 50 to Julianne!

Happy Day 50 to AverageJoe!

Happy Day 50 to Toby!

Happy Day 50 to Springer!

Happy Day 50 to I.T.!

Happy Day 50 to DMcBee!

Happy Day 50 to Newg!

Happy Day 50 to Brisgal!

Happy Day 50 to BG!

Happy Day 100 to Bridget!

Happy Day 100 to Blou!

Happy Day 100 to KRD!

Happy Day 100 to Jazzhands70!

Happy Day 100 to RetiringPartyGirl!

Happy Day 100 to Stefanie!

Happy Day 100 to Norma!

Happy Day 100 to Kelley!

Happy Day 100 to Ingridandmac!

Happy Day 100 to Peewit!

Happy Day 100 to Steph!

Happy Day 100 to Lavender!

Happy Day 100 to Itssue!

Happy Day 100 to Sheree!

Happy Day 100 to Normajean1215!

Happy Day 100 to Gina!

Happy Day 100 to Helen!

Happy Day 100 to Staying Present!

Happy Day 100 to Johnny!

Happy Day 100 to AnnieO!

Happy Day 100 to Still Breathing!

Happy Day 100 to LunaBlu!

Happy Day 100 to Gomez!

Happy Day 100 to Sings!

Happy Day 100 to Ararebird!

Happy Day 100 to Glitter!

Happy Day 100 to Mummabear!

Happy Day 100 to Jule!

Happy Day 180 to True.d.true!

Happy Day 180 to Elyn Jones!

Happy Day 180 to Becca1978!

Happy Day 180 to LD4ME!

Happy Day 180 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 180 to Capt. Unwined!

Happy Day 180 to Honoring Grace!

Happy Day 200 to A_Sober_Cannibal!

Happy Day 200 to Shannon A!

Happy Day 200 to Sisty!

Happy Day 200 to SohoCat!

Happy Day 200 to Ashley!

Happy Day 200 to Georgie Girl!

Happy Day 200 to Grace514!

Happy Day 200 to Indy!

Happy Day 200 to Pwhims!

Happy Day 200 to Rahcele!

Happy Day 300 to Sabrina!

Happy Day 300 to Bladerboy!

Happy Day 300 to Steffispud!

Happy Day 300 to Raspberrikiss!

Happy Day 365 to Conn!

Happy Day 400 to Patten!

Happy Day 400 to KT Web!

Happy Day 500 to ShellMN!

Happy Day 500 to SarahBee!

Happy Day 500 to NSRunner!

Happy Day 500 to Mamafergs!

Happy Day 500 to Case Study Michelle!

Happy Day 600 to Sooz!

Happy Day 600 to EMJ001!

Happy Day 600 to Lavendarzone!

Happy Day 600 to TickleMeShelmo!

Happy Day 700 to ElizabethDC!

Happy Day 700 to Silver Birch!

Happy Day 700 to Mil!

Happy Day 700 to Seekingpeace!

Happy Day 700 to Yoda!

Happy Day 700 to VTgirl!

Happy Day 700 to MJP!

Happy Day 700 to Jobo!

Happy Day 800 to Rache B!

Happy Day 800 to Yogayamagirl!

Happy Day 800 to Jock!

Happy Day 800 to Sea Turtle!

Happy Day 900 to Marbear!

Happy Day 900 to Junebug!

Happy Day 900 to Frenchie!

Happy Day 1000 to Fleur!

Happy Day 1000 to Chatsworth!

Happy Day 1000 to Cricket!

Happy Day 1000 to Shar!

Happy Day 1100 to GW!

Happy Day 1100 to JustHadToHaveIt!

Happy Day 1100 to Apprentice Annie!

Happy Day 1100 to ParisienneKnitter!

Happy Day 1100 to Run Dontwine!

Happy Day 1200 to Jacques!

Happy Day 1200 to Rose!

Happy Day 1200 to Santa Cruz!

Happy Day 1200 to Phoebe!

Happy Day 1200 to Doll Face!

Happy Day 1200 to Telling The Words!

Happy Day 1200 to Sherri!

Happy Day 1200 to Lurking with Intent!

Happy Day 1200 to Libby!

Happy Day 1200 to Traci!

Happy Day 1200 to Winkle!

Happy Day 1300 to Jeroen!

Happy Day 1300 to Lucy!

Happy Day 1300 to TipTree!

Happy Day 1400 to Kristi Coulter!

Happy Day 1400 to C How!

Happy Day 1400 to Sarita!

Happy Day 1400 to Ingrid!

Happy Day 1400 to Trish!

Happy Day 1500 to Carrie!