Wednesday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Stanley!

Happy Day 50 to Wafflehousemomma!

Happy Day 50 to Leener!

Happy Day 50 to Smokey!

Happy Day 50 to MelMel!

Happy Day 50 to Scrappy!

Happy Day 50 to Peppercorn!

Happy Day 50 to Springer

Happy Day 50 to Debbi Does Sober!

Happy Day 100 to LDM4ME!

Happy Day 100 to ree67!

Happy Day 100 to Mlodius!

Happy Day 100 to Frog!

Happy Day 100 to Bug June!

Happy Day 100 to MiMoMa!

Happy Day 100 to JenJen!

Happy Day 100 to CryBabyinCali!

Happy Day 100 to Lars!

Happy Day 100 to Flyaway!

Happy Day 100 to Sober Tea!

Happy Day 100 to Dry Ace!

Happy Day 180 to SDBKatz!

Happy Day 180 to AuntieMame!

Happy Day 180 to Arya!

Happy Day 200 to renne in rochester!

Happy Day 200 to LittleRed!

Happy Day 200 to Sandal!

Happy Day 200 to RedRidingHood!

Happy Day 300 to SoberinVa!

Happy Day 300 to Jaylee!

Happy Day 300 to MrsRoberts!

Happy Day 300 to Lizzytish!

Happy Day 300 to Peaceable J!

Happy Day 300 to Mindful Monica!

Happy Day 300 to SarahJune31!

Happy Day 365 to Blondie!

Happy Day 365 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 365 to Capt. Unwinded!

Happy Day 365 to Tiger2017!

Happy Day 365 to Honoring Grace!

Happy Day 365 to Boozy Betty!

Happy Day 365 to A_Sober_Cannibal!

Happy Day 365 to Shannon A!

Happy Day 365 to Sisty!

Happy Day 365 to SohoCat!

Happy Day 365 to Ashley!

Happy Day 400 to Calypso!

Happy Day 400 to Allie!

Happy Day 400 to Bunnie!

Happy Day 400 to Liz!

Happy Day 400 to A Girl Named Sam!

Happy Day 400 to Meadowmuffins!

Happy Day 400 to Jeans!

Happy Day 400 to AmandaJ!

Happy Day 400 to Jena14!

Happy Day 500 to JT Weir!

Happy Day 500 to Edi!

Happy Day 500 to Leftcoastgirl!

Happy Day 600 to CaseyM!

Happy Day 600 to Runnergirl!

Happy Day 700 to Trueleah!

Happy Day 700 to Phoenix!

Happy Day 700 to ChellyBelly!

Happy Day 800 to Linley!

Happy Day 900 to Grateful Girl!

Happy Day 900 to Jenuhful!

Happy Day 1000 to Coffeecuphead!

Happy Day 1000 to Kitkatpaddywack!

Happy Day 1000 to 1035!

Happy Day 1000 to Frankie!

Happy Day 1000 to LJ63!

Happy Day 1000 to Sean!

Happy Day 1100 to Elly!

Happy Day 1100 to 19Cathleen!

Happy Day 1100 to Rexytime!

Happy Day 1100 to Cocomack!

Happy Day 1100 to NewChris!

Happy Day 1100 to Jas!

Happy Day 1100 to Canadian Girl!

Happy Day 1200 to Paulita!

Happy Day 1200 to Artsmommy!

Happy Day 1200 to Ish!

Happy Day 1200 to Bekki!

Happy Day 1200 to Meagan!

Happy Day 1200 to Lara!

Happy Day 1300 to Janett!

Happy Day 1300 to tlecompte!

Happy Day 1300 to hcassstevens!

Happy Day 1300 to otherjosh!

Happy Day 1300 to runnermom!

Happy Day 1300 to jlynn!

Happy Day 1400 to KateF!

Happy Day 1400 to Margy!

Happy Day 1400 to Wanting to be a sober mom!

Happy Day 1400 to Tammi!

Happy Day 1400 to Shell Bell!

Happy Day 1400 to Tuomas!

Happy Day 1400 to Nuchter Maya!

Happy Day 1400 to Janet!

Happy Day 1400 to Beach_Gurl!

Happy Day 1500 to DianeLouise!

Happy Day 1600 to Original Betgh!

Happy Day 1600 to Leah!

omm268.wrong.place

In this audio, I call bullshit on a bunch of excuses. I can’t be sober in this way, my support must look like ‘this’, I can’t practise my skating routine on the path at the park. All not true.

[be sure to scroll down for photos]

  • Get these audios on iTunes (apple podcast) > link

 

Transcript.

OK, I get this kind of thing in my Inbox all the time. This will sound familiar to you:

“Dear Belle, I wish there was an AA meeting close to me that had people that were my age. I wish I could go to an AA meeting where there were hot men. I wish there was an AA meeting where they were 35-41 years old. I wish I could find a place to practice my skating routine, but I can only do it at the rink.”

What do you hear there when I say that? You hear wolfie, right?

“I can’t get it that way. Those people can’t help me. This is the wrong place. This is the wrong time. I can’t start until everything lines up. I can’t do it this way.”

You have a voice in your head that wants you to keep drinking, so it will manufacture reasons why the support is wrong for you. “I can’t have a phone call with a sober coach because of 1300 imaginary reasons. I can’t practice my skating routine unless I’m at the rink.”

You’ve thought that. Perfectionism.

“If I can’t get it to all line up then I don’t want to do it.”

And I want you to know that today when I was at the duck pond, when I was doing my run, I saw a woman practicing her skating routine on the pathway. She wasn’t in the water, she was on the track where I was running around the pond, she was off to one side doing her skating routine.

And I looked at her and I thought: Fuck, that’s genius. You don’t wait for winter. You don’t wait for ice. You can practise it right here. Of course you can. Stop with all of this, ‘It’s not lined up properly’. Stop with all of this, “I need the right room at the right time with the right person’. It’s all bullshit.

Your brain is manufacturing reasons why this won’t work for you.

It’s all not true.

I took a picture of the woman with the skating thing [below] …

And I thought, if that’s not a sober metaphor I don’t know what is. And then this morning, I get an email that says: “I really wish I could find an AA meeting where people were 26-31 or 35-42.”

No.

I call bullshit.

I call bullshit.

And you can stop that shit right now.

 

pass out in your chair [Julie-Joy’s Dad Part 2]

from me:

i received a long email from Julie-Joy’s Dad about his new sober life. it’s so fascinating that i want to share it all with you, but it’s long (i said that already) and so i’m going to split it into parts. Part 1 was previously posted here.

===

[May 2016]
email from Julie-Joy’s Dad (day 822): “Hi Belle, I wanted some insight with my drinking problem, which I thought really wasn’t that bad. So I sent my “girls” (girls includes my wife) an email and asked them to tell me about the before and after. I was surprised. Actually I was a little shocked! You will like the response from my wife. Enjoy.  This is my original email:  I need your help! I like to read the blogs of “Belle’s” website and I find them encouraging and in some cases sad. I am looking at my own journey and how content and happy I am right now and I would like to add a perspective to the blog (or whatever) from my family. Could you write a paragraph or two about the DAD (& husband) before the 100 day sober challenge, and the DAD after taking the challenge? Thanks and I love you. DAD (and your Mom’s hubby).”

Julie-Joy’s sister (Krista, day 459):

I never realized it until you were into your 100 day journey, that the time I spent at your house was less and less. I think subconsciously it was because of your drinking. Most of the time you would be drinking, get grumpy, eat and then pass out in your chair. You didn’t want to give us (the boys and myself) kisses goodbye and I think it’s because you didn’t want me to smell the booze on your breath. There were times I needed rescuing (like when I ran out of gas) or others situations that I cannot remember and you could not help because you knew you could not and should not drive.

But fast forward into your 100 day journey. We (the boys and myself) are at your house all the time. You are active and successful. You were already a positive person but you it shows through so much more now that you are not drinking. I know that I can call you any time and you are able and capable of helping me out — unless you are on one of your 8 mile walks. 😉 You hug and kiss us goodbye all the time!

You have inspired me! And although my own choice to not drink is one I chose for myself, you were definitely part of the process. Love you dad!

From JJ’s Dad: Belle, my youngest daughter, Renee didn’t write anything, but just called me and told me that she didn’t see me when I was drinking. Which is true. I didn’t get to see her very much and since she has moved with her husband … all she knows is that I am really happy and full of love. She told me that she loved me so much and started to cry. So, I gave her a pass. Her hands are full right now. Her mother-in-law has been diagnosed with cancer and they have given her 2 months to live. Renee is a mother of 2 young children: a 2½ and 1 year old. Renee is the spiritual one and such a wonderful woman.

[end part 2]

Wednesday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to IC Momentum!

Happy Day 50 to Pahobe!

Happy Day 50 to Lordi!

Happy Day 50 to Ket!

Happy Day 50 to Garcia!

Happy Day 50 to Celine!

Happy Day 50 to LateTrier!

Happy Day 50 to RoseStar!

Happy Day 100 to ree67!

Happy Day 100 to Klowe!

Happy Day 100 to fifty & free!

Happy Day 100 to Sillymelove!

Happy Day 100 to mich2point0!

Happy Day 100 to Annikki!

Happy Day 100 to lmichel!

Happy Day 180 to renne in rochester!

Happy Day 180 to LittleRed!

Happy Day 180 to Sandal!

Happy Day 180 to RedRidingHood!

Happy Day 200 to Myriam!

Happy Day 200 to Goldie!

Happy Day 200 to Lex!

Happy Day 200 to Newg!

Happy Day 200 to Leigh Ann (penpal #3)!

Happy Day 200 to Alicat!

Happy Day 200 to Char S!

Happy Day 200 to RossFU!

Happy Day 200 to Superkitty!

Happy Day 200 to 35&changing!

Happy Day 300 to Lime Tree!

Happy Day 300 to Princess Buttercup!

Happy Day 300 to Wynn!

Happy Day 300 to Sophiestar!

Happy Day 300 to Jazzie!

Happy Day 300 to Gem64!

Happy Day 300 to Bruna!

Happy Day 300 to Nowinemom!

Happy Day 300 to SueW!

Happy Day 300 to Roadtosoberville!

Happy Day 300 to Kiki71!

Happy Day 300 to Honey Bear!

Happy Day 300 to Resiliensea!

Happy Day 365 to Grace514!

Happy Day 365 to Indy!

Happy Day 365 to Pwhims!

Happy Day 365 to Rachel E!

Happy Day 365 to FlightPlan!

Happy Day 365 to Inspired!

Happy Day 365 to Calypso!

Happy Day 365 to Allie!

Happy Day 365 to Bunnie!

Happy Day 365 to Liz!

Happy Day 365 to Girl Named Sam!

Happy Day 365 to Meadowmuffins!

Happy Day 365 to AmandaJ!

Happy Day 365 to Jena14!

Happy Day 400 to Gene!

Happy Day 400 to Lola4126!

Happy Day 400 to TJS!

Happy Day 400 to Ruby Harper!

Happy Day 400 to Poppy!

Happy Day 400 to Topo Chico!

Happy Day 400 to Ruby!

Happy Day 400 to Hollm!

Happy Day 400 to Reg!

Happy Day 400 to bemmy girl!

Happy Day 400 to BattleMatt!

Happy Day 400 to Maverick!

Happy Day 400 to Aprile!

Happy Day 400 to Froggy Google!

Happy Day 400 to Unduped!

Happy Day 500 to Rogueyogi!

Happy Day 500 to Miss Kell!

Happy Day 500 to Dry Ginger!

Happy Day 500 to Reenie!

Happy Day 500 to Imara!

Happy Day 600 to Auds!

Happy Day 600 to KaffyB!

Happy Day 600 to Debbie!

Happy Day 600 to KLC!

Happy Day 600 to Country Pat!

Happy Day 600 to Lanza!

Happy Day 600 to Chell!

Happy Day 600 to Franny!

Happy Day 600 to Husband #1!

Happy Day 700 to Hughie!

Happy Day 700 to JP!

Happy Day 700 to Gypsy Girl!

Happy Day 800 to Cal!

Happy Day 800 to Gordon!

Happy Day 800 to Unwinedgal!

Happy Day 900 to tk!

Happy Day 1000 to Indian Lake!

Happy Day 1000 to MelP!

Happy Day 1000 to Solstice Guy!

Happy Day 1000 to Summer Walking!

Happy Day 1000 to Turcotte!

Happy Day 1000 to Southern Magnolia1013!

Happy Day 1000 to Maureen!

Happy Day 1100 to GG!

Happy Day 1100 to Festie!

Happy Day 1100 to Graceb!

Happy Day 1100 to Paris!

Happy Day 1100 to Shout444!

Happy Day 1100 to Midwestveggie!

Happy Day 1100 to Rah!

Happy Day 1100 to RoseMarie!

Happy Day 1100 to Janna!

Happy Day 1100 to Jacqui!

Happy Day 1100 to Kelz!

Happy Day 1100 to Petunia!

Happy Day 1200 to Sharlotte!

Happy Day 1200 to Mizgabz!

Happy Day 1200 to Sanfransober!

Happy Day 1200 to Sarah72!

Happy Day 1200 to CassieB!

Happy Day 1200 to Shelby!

Happy Day 1200 to Weenie!

Happy Day 1200 to 1111!

Happy Day 1200 to Manda!

Happy Day 1300 to Julie-Joy’s Dad!

Happy Day 1300 to Jessie!

Happy Day 1300 to Heike!

Happy Day 1300 to Isabel!

Happy Day 1300 to Daybird!

Happy Day 1300 to LolaB!

Happy Day 1300 to Connie!

Happy Day 1300 to Fich!

Happy Day 1300 to Hank!

Happy Day 1300 to Aschae!

Happy Day 1300 to Emery!

Happy Day 1400 to Denise!

Happy Day 1400 to TheFun4!

Happy Day 1400 to terence!

Happy Day 1400 to Clear Eyed Girl!

Happy Day 1400 to Hazeleyes!

Happy Day 1400 to Case Study Tim!

Happy Day 1400 to Baby girl butterfly!

Happy Day 1400 to Primrose!

Happy Day 1400 to Sadie!

Happy Day 1400 to SignGurl!

Happy Day 1400 to Jeannie Yogini!

Happy Day 1400 to Jilly Bean!

Happy Day 1500 to Jenisthesoberist!

Happy Day 1500 to Sharon!

Happy Day 1500 to LD!

Happy Day 1500 to Laurie!

Happy Day 1600 to Kate Sober Journalist!

Happy Day 1700 to Amy!

Happy Day 1915 to me!

broken mirror, bent golf club, two bullet holes [Julie-Joy’s Dad Part 1]

from me:

i received a long email from Julie-Joy’s Dad about his new sober life. it’s so fascinating that i want to share it all with you, but it’s long (i said that already) and so i’m going to split it into parts. Here’s Part 1:

===

[May 2016]
email from Julie-Joy’s Dad (day 822): “Hi Belle, I wanted some insight with my drinking problem, which I thought really wasn’t that bad. So I sent my “girls” (girls includes my wife) an email and asked them to tell me about the before and after. I was surprised. Actually I was a little shocked! You will like the response from my wife. Enjoy.  This is my original email:  I need your help! I like to read the blogs of “Belle’s” website and I find them encouraging and in some cases sad. I am looking at my own journey and how content and happy I am right now and I would like to add a perspective to the blog (or whatever) from my family. Could you write a paragraph or two about the DAD (& husband) before the 100 day sober challenge, and the DAD after taking the challenge? Thanks and I love you. DAD (and your Mom’s hubby).”

1. Response From My Wife

I really think you were on a course of self-destruction that was going to end tragically … There were a couple of times that I was probably more frightened, and mad, than I’d ever been in my life. There was one night that I was so concerned about you that I left work in the middle of the night to come home and check on you. I had talked with you on the phone and you weren’t making much sense. By the time I got home you were in bed asleep.

There was also an instance with a patient in the ER one night that I thought to myself, “this could be Jeff.” He had a seizure related to alcohol withdrawal. He was right around the same age as you and a daily drinker. Not a homeless alcoholic guy off the streets, just your average every-day worker, wife at bedside. He was obviously altered, couldn’t talk or make any sense, going to be admitted to ICU (withdrawal can kill), didn’t know if he was going to make it and if he did, what would his quality of life be like. That really frightened me. I remember talking to you about it and you blew it off. At least that was my perception.

Then Julie-Joy came along with an initial 30 day sober challenge, I thought to myself “he’ll do it for Julie, she always had a way with her dad.”

Let me back up a bit and give you my example of “frightening moments”: broken mirror (floor length), bent golf club, and also two bullet holes in our house and you not remembering what happened! My heart is racing right now just recounting this…

There was also the way you tried to hide how much you were drinking. I felt God was whispering in my ear: “look here, look there,” and sure enough there’d be a bottle. … Belle entered our lives through Julie. I cannot begin to thank you enough for your gift of reaching people, Belle. It was the absolute perfect time. Jeff took on the challenge in the typical fashion “all-in”! He did 30 days, and then 60 days, and then 100 days. He is now at 822 days and counting. He is amazing and a joy to be around. He’s “fired-up” on a daily basis, and is hard to keep up with. Oh yeah, did I mention I’m much younger than him, six years? A bit of a private joke 🙂 I’m so thankful he’s alive (I don’t think he would’ve at the rate he was going). I get to enjoy his company for the rest of our years together (38 years and counting).

I love you Jeff and I love that you took on this challenge with gust! You have been a huge inspiration not only to me, but your daughters and those around you, and those you don’t even know you. I’ve shared with friends, patients and acquaintances about the change in you, the website, and the person that Belle is and has been to our family. Thank you Belle for bringing this inspiration to us. Thank you for your own 30, 60, 100+ day challenge and inspiring others to “stop thinking about drinking.” You have a gift, thanks for sharing with others and this family in particular. You’re a life saver.

[end part 1]

never mind. look away. eyes on your own paper.

from me:

this sober girl got up at 6:15 and wrote some on the new sober fiction writing project. it’s day 6 of 100 days in a row. remember when i said it was 100 days until christmas? yeah, that.

there are so many ways that writing is like being sober.

you show up and you don’t know what to expect. you’ve heard other people’s stories but you don’t know if they will apply to you. you are sure you’re a special snowflake and that “what works for others won’t work for you.” You get advice from people who don’t get it. You get cheerleading in unusual places.

In my case, i writing to be so close to early sobriety that some days, it’s all i can do to just keep going. i’m on day 6. don’t want to break the streak. don’t want to have to start over.

if you’re like me, you do better with accountability and support. and when i say “if you’re like me” and you think you aren’t, you probably are. You do better with support. You do better when someone you respect, who loves you, who has your best interests at heart says something encouraging. Imagine the storybook version of a grandmother. that kind of support. (if you have a grandmother like mine, whenever i’d complain about a perceived slight or a sister squabble, she’d say “Never Mind,” as if to say: look away. eyes on your own paper. keep your eyes on the road. don’t let your sober car run out of gas.)

and like writing, it’s not enough to feel like you have the ABILITY to do it, you also need the right combination of motivation and spark and timing and momentum. And when you get momentum? well i’m not dumb, i know that momentum is hard to get, and even 6 days is hard to get, so i’m keeping going.

i also set up some external accountability by posting the book, in order, a bit at a time, as it’s written. It’s officially called ‘serializing’ your book, when you print it bit by bit. And if the experiment of posting day by day continues to work well, i’ll share it here too. for now i’m being a bit careful of who/how i share (sounds like sobriety?).

mood-wise i’m doing ok this week. I mean, i’m as sloth-y as ever. I’d LIKE to: clean the house, run a 10K, get my eyebrows done, empty the freezer, read a book about Hope, make 4 new recipes, and go to IKEA.

instead of that list of things i’d LIKE to do, instead i’m doing this: emailing sober penpals, hosting a class about worth (which is turning out to be super fascinating, as we discuss in more depth how the “THING is not in the THING”), writing every day, and going to physio twice a week for a sore shoulder (just tendonitis, nothing exciting). that’s it. i’m not cooking meals, i’m not running much (more walking), i’m not making new recipes. in fact, if you must know, i had canned beans for lunch today (3:02 pm) for the first time in 8 years and they were delish. that’s it.

and like when we make any large changes (writing fiction – which really is just like being sober – it’s creating a new something where there was nothing before), i’m being kind to myself to remember that 6 days is a big deal. that writing daily and doing the rest of my life is enough for now. and any ideas of nice eyebrows will have to wait. the freezer will wait. the new recipes can wait. IKEA will still be there on the weekend.

striving for underwhelm so that the magnitude of what i’m doing doesn’t make my head fly off.

 

cold, rainy, and the soup apparently will not cook itself.

from me:

this sober girl slept in this morning, it’s cold and rainy. I had a large pot of decaf. I am wearing orange Ernie socks, plaid pyjama bottoms, a Roots t-shirt, a zip up jacket. It’s colder than it should be.

I open my inbox and it looks like this: celebration of 100 days, relapse on day 49, reset after 3 years of drinking, frustration with repeated resets. (at this point i pause and finds an audio to send to the frustrated girl, an audio recorded for a different frustrated girl, but applies to this one, too, so resending.)

there are sweet and kind emails in response to yesterday’s micro-email (“yes, i feel like that too”) and there are questioning emails (“did you write that nice thing about yourself and pass it off as having been written by a penpal”) and other questioning emails (“i question your qualifications to teach a ‘worth’ class”).

I edit a podcast interview recorded a month ago, and then email the interviewee (again) to ask if she’d like me to NOT share the recording. i’ve offered before, i offer again. for reasons.

my husband comes home for lunch at noon (it’s 1:20 pm now). i suggest not terribly kindly that he shift his work project from one thing to another, and he declines, and then i feel trapped and i stop talking.

i have a new catering order for later this week which is exciting, although the one where i made the 10 cheesecakes was cancelled. so i have food in my freezer (that’ll teach me to do too much in advance!).

so really, it’s a regular day.

up and down moments. problem solving, linking, writing. working on the fiction project (can you tell how well it’s going? i’m here doing this instead).

i have someone who signed up for the jumpstart class but hasn’t downloaded the audios yet, and is having trouble getting going. i have someone who is celebrating day 156 and has been lurking the whole time.

i have 10 small cheesecakes in the freezer. no that’s true. there are 9. but i wrote 10 before and so i’m continuing with that.

and just like anyone else in the universe, i have emails that lift and some that flatten. i have moments of “oh brother” and moments of perfect alignment.

but really. i’m a girl in her pyjamas (now it’s 1:28 pm). i haven’t had lunch. my husband thinks i’m a turd (to be fair, i didn’t warm him up to my ideas, i just blurted them and he declined), and i fear that i am not going outside today because it is 16C (61F) and pouring rain.

i could make soup with the nice italian pasta that M. brought me when she went home to see her parents, but that seems unlikely. uncooked pasta from ‘rome’ is the same as any other kind of uncooked pasta. it’s the kind that isn’t in my soup. it’s not exotic. it’s uncooked pasta. that is not feeding me at this exact second.

ok fine. i’ll make the fucking soup. fine. FINE.

things i learned yesterday: not everyone loves me every day of the week. no shit. and yes, i am OK with that. i am initially flattened and then i reinflate. i think the reinflating part is the key. and how long it is between flat and reinflated. yesterday I learned that making cheesecake in advance is probably not a good idea unless you want to eat them all. I learned that my idea of writing fiction is VASTLY different from the actual writing of it.

do not say “tomorrow will be a better day.”

instead, you can say: “i have shit days too. one shit day. who cares. make the most of it. order a burger from the food delivery and be done with it. go back to bed.” or you can say “the fiction is probably better than you think it is.” or you can say “i’m one of the lurkers who never speaks up but here’s what i think…”

 

“I have asked for help and you have given it”

email from mygi (day 1): 

“Hey Belle, just finished listening to Lesson #1 of the Jumpstart class, and I’m in floods of tears because it’s real now and I’m not lurking any more and I’m real. I thought I was broken but maybe I’m not? Sobbing with reality and relief that I don’t have to fight any more.

My longest time sober was about 10 years ago. I’ve always feared quitting outright because I hated that time, it was boring and difficult and I thought that was difficult because I was sober. So I tried moderation, lots of different kinds of moderation, none of which have worked …

What’s different this time that gives me hope is that I’m not going to change anything in my life apart from this one thing. Everything is ok, I’m in an ok place. And I have support, I have asked for help and you have given it. Maybe it will happen to me this time, because I can see the future in you and your sober penpal gang and it doesn’t look so different from who I am now.

I can’t tell you how many times I gave that three year old a doughnut since I returned to day one. Sooooo many doughnuts, soooooo many tantrums. Day one is today again, and it’s shit. I don’t want to be here any more.

And I laugh/sobbed so hard at the corn on the cob thing. Yes, that’s it entirely. I can’t MAKE myself be like that about booze. You’re like that or you’re not. But I’m getting into scary never territory again so I’m going to return to the fact that I’m not drinking now. Not today.

Thank you Belle :-)”

[update: she’s on day 396 today, just celebrated one year sober]

Monday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to MiMoMa!

Happy Day 50 to Grace (penpal #26)!

Happy Day 50 to Katrinka!

Happy Day 50 to Glitter!

Happy Day 50 to JenJen!

Happy Day 50 to CryBabyinCali!

Happy Day 50 to i.t.!

Happy Day 50 to Lars!

Happy Day 50 to Flyaway!

Happy Day 50 to Lotus Lady!

Happy Day 50 to Sober Tea!

Happy Day 50 to Klowe!

Happy Day 100 to LiquidTracy!

Happy Day 100 to LinZeeLou!

Happy Day 100 to Rambling Rose!

Happy Day 100 to MsM!

Happy Day 100 to Kimpossible!

Happy Day 100 to Doriomom!

Happy Day 100 to BalanceBeam!

Happy Day 100 to Nixie!

Happy Day 100 to BirdSetFree!

Happy Day 100 to Mia!

Happy Day 100 to Hellacious!

Happy Day 100 to Oriole!

Happy Day 100 to Sobriety Unlocked!

Happy Day 180 to Newg!

Happy Day 180 to Leigh Ann (penpal #3)!

Happy Day 180 to Winefreeme!

Happy Day 180 to Alicat!

Happy Day 180 to Superkitty!

Happy Day 180 to 35&changing!

 

Happy Day 200 to Jacci2!

Happy Day 200 to Sobersparkles!

Happy Day 200 to Mrs.Wooly!

Happy Day 200 to NatureNancy!

Happy Day 200 to redredwine!

Happy Day 200 to Ninabear!

Happy Day 200 to Aimee!

Happy Day 200 to Kaycee!

Happy Day 300 to Stillbridge!

Happy Day 300 to true.d.true!

Happy Day 300 to Elyn Jones!

Happy Day 300 to Becca1978!

Happy Day 300 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 300 to Capt. Unwined!

Happy Day 300 to Lerawk!

Happy Day 300 to Tiger2017!

Happy Day 365 to Gene!

Happy Day 365 to Lola4126!

Happy Day 365 to TJS!

Happy Day 365 to RubyHarper!

Happy Day 365 to Poppy!

Happy Day 365 to Topo Chico!

Happy Day 365 to Ruby!

Happy Day 365 to Hollm!

Happy Day 365 to Reg!

Happy Day 400 to frupa63!

Happy Day 400 to Tsilver!

Happy Day 400 to VMD free!

Happy Day 400 to Lippy!

Happy Day 400 to TT!

Happy Day 400 to Tierrazul!

Happy Day 500 to KatieMay!

Happy Day 500 to Clearlee!

Happy Day 600 to TJ!

Happy Day 600 to SoberInMtl!

Happy Day 600 to ScrubJay!

Happy Day 600 to Binkles!

Happy Day 600 to Elis!

Happy Day 600 to Lydster!

Happy Day 600 to TrixeeK!

Happy Day 600 to Fern!

Happy Day 600 to Coco!

Happy Day 700 to Tree!

Happy Day 700 to Lucia!

Happy Day 700 to Juliejean123!

Happy Day 700 to RossFSU!

Happy Day 700 to Ami!

Happy Day 800 to Meraki!

Happy Day 800 to Heya Monster!

Happy Day 800 to Shortternnoterm!

Happy Day 800 to Liberte!

Happy Day 800 to AnnieB!

Happy Day 800 to Youngernow!

Happy Day 800 to AnnaD!

Happy Day 800 to Whitbell25!

Happy Day 800 to Beck!

Happy Day 800 to Ginette!

Happy Day 900 to Oz!

Happy Day 900 to Julie-Joy’s Sister!

Happy Day 900 to Faye858!

Happy Day 900 to me-fixing-me!

Happy Day 900 to mythreesons!

Happy Day 900 to Honner!

Happy Day 900 to gingerade!

Happy Day 1000 to Library Girl!

Happy Day 1000 to Joannie!

Happy Day 1000 to Chace!

Happy Day 1100 to Dancing Rabbit!

Happy Day 1100 to Microlady!

Happy Day 1100 to AlexP!

Happy Day 1100 to Chefstarr!

Happy Day 1100 to Monique!

Happy Day 1100 to iphonebonnie!

Happy Day 1100 to chachi!

Happy Day 1100 to nomorepinot!

Happy Day 1200 to Sober Lemon!

Happy Day 1200 to PP!

Happy Day 1200 to Foxie!

Happy Day 1200 to Renee!

Happy Day 1200 to Battersea Park!

Happy Day 1200 to Welles!

Happy Day 1200 to Gra!

Happy Day 1200 to SusieQ!

Happy Day 1200 to IrishDee!

Happy Day 1300 to Going2pieces!

Happy Day 1300 to Apprentice SoberP!

Happy Day 1300 to Blake!

Happy Day 1300 to DeeN!

Happy Day 1300 to FitFatFood!

Happy Day 1300 to Moore!

Happy Day 1300 to Crispy!

Happy Day 1400 to Kirst!

Happy Day 1400 to Mylene!

Happy Day 1400 to InNeedOfGrace!

Happy Day 1500 to Durf11!

Happy Day 1600 to JM!

Happy Day 1600 to Rebecca!

Happy Day 1600 to Digs!

Happy Day 1700 to Amy!

Happy Day 1900 to Thirteenpointone!

 

loneliness, depression, or boredom

from my inbox:

L: “I’m not doing well. I keep starting and failing. I keep starting out in the morning with plans for a new day 1, even get one occasionally, then feel so good, I decide to get some wine. So stupid, I know. I even thought the Solstice to Solstice would be a good marker for me, but nope. I subscribed to more audios from you, have increased treats … but still fall short in the evening with loneliness, depression, or boredom. I was even half hoping I would get my daughter’s cold, so I would quit again, got two weeks in last time, but went backwards again. My doctor prescribed meds to use to get past the cravings, but I’m always afraid to take stuff, so I haven’t tried them. That seems ridiculous too, since I have no problem poisoning myself with wine.. I don’t want to get caught in the thought of, Oh I’ll just wait until the first of the month. I want this to be my day 1 that sticks.. It will be when I get home from work today, and my brain will say, Oh it vacation time, you have a week off, or one more night, which of course there is no such thing! Heavy sigh.”

me: I know that feeling. I’d quit in the morning and then drink at 6 pm. and then repeat. someone told me they had 1000 day 1s (like 3 years worth) and I believed them. and you know what, it’s normal and totally predictable that someone with an anxiety issue would have anxiety about taking the medication 🙂 you can take it anyway, as a trial. you’ve tried other stuff, you haven’t tried this, and it might help. you don’t wait for special days. you want to feel better today so you start now. date of last drink can be today. really. and reach out for more support. if we are booked to talk once a week, you may find it easier to be more accountable and to get the courage to try the other things that will help. ~ hugs from me

 

 

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