Thursday Celebration Roundup

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

Happy Day 50 to Junie B!

Happy Day 50 to Cowboy!

Happy Day 50 to Small Town Moon!

Happy Day 100 to Glanville!

Happy Day 100 to Sobersusie!

Happy Day 100 to Lena!

Happy Day 100 to Sparky!

Happy Day 100 to Granite Angel!

Happy Day 100 to JenJen!

Happy Day 180 to Versa!

Happy Day 180 to Moi!

Happy Day 180 to Suzabelle!

Happy Day 200 to A Free Willow!

Happy Day 300 to Emsyface!

Happy Day 300 to Sobriety Shingles!

Happy Day 300 to Jenwithoutwine!

Happy Day 365 to Lex!

Happy Day 600 to Goldie!

Happy Day 700 to Gem64!

Happy Day 700 to Bruna!

Happy Day 800 to Ruby Harper!

Happy Day 800 to Poppy!

Happy Day 1000 to KLC!

Happy Day 1000 to Country Pat!

Happy Day 1200 to Cal!

Happy Day 1300 to Jenuhful!

Happy Day 1300 to Cheaton!

Happy Day 1400 to Mel P!

Happy Day 1400 to Solstice Guy!

Happy Day 1500 to Graceb!

Happy Day 1600 to Sharlotte!

Happy Day 1600 to Sanfransober!

Happy Day 1600 to Sarah72!

Happy Day 1700 to Julie-Joy’s Dad!

Happy Day 1800 to TheFun4!

Happy Day 1800 to Terence!

Happy Day 1800 to Clear Eyed Girl!

Happy Day 1800 to Hazeleyes!

Happy Day 1800 to Case Study Tim!

Happy Day 1900 to Pam!

Wednesday Celebration Roundup

(i haven’t posted a roundup since July, so this list is longer than usual).

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

Happy Day 50 to JasJet

Happy Day 50 to Sandal!

Happy Day 50 to Sober Julie Mtl!

Happy Day 50 to CarolynW!

Happy Day 50 to Buttercup244!

Happy Day 50 to Brissie!

Happy Day 50 to Chum!

Happy Day 50 to Happiersober!

Happy Day 50 to drinkdodger!

Happy Day 50 to LightningBug45!

Happy Day 50 to BelayOn!

Happy Day 50 to Sargeant!

Happy Day 50 to Fly Over Girl!

Happy Day 50 to Flora!

Happy Day 50 to NMD!

Happy Day 50 to Edison!

Happy Day 50 to Franci!

Happy Day 50 to Moneyfortreats!

Happy Day 50 to Nayana!

Happy Day 50 to Miranda!

Happy Day 50 to Barbs!

Happy Day 50 to Daffodil Princess!

Happy Day 50 to Andpops!

Happy Day 50 to SoberNevertheless!

Happy Day 50 to Lee the Pea!

Happy Day 50 to Glanville!

Happy Day 50 to Sobersusie!

Happy Day 50 to Lena!

Happy Day 50 to Sparky!

Happy Day 50 to Granite Angel!

Happy Day 50 to JenJen!

Happy Day 100 to Aleesjourney!

Happy Day 100 to Veeee!

Happy Day 100 to Pilates Queenie!

Happy Day 100 to Miss Nelson!

Happy Day 100 to Ohnarn!

Happy Day 100 to Nell!

Happy Day 100 to SterlingGhost!

Happy Day 100 to Amazon Sister!

Happy Day 100 to ShelT!

Happy Day 100 to Bayleaf!

Happy Day 100 to Peppercorn!

Happy Day 100 to karin!

Happy Day 100 to Blackbird!

Happy Day 100 to Lheras!

Happy Day 100 to Jennifer 2.0!

Happy Day 100 to Da!

Happy Day 100 to lageeg!

Happy Day 100 to Janey!

Happy Day 100 to pinkclouds!

Happy Day 100 to Marie Louise!

Happy Day 100 to KeysKathy!

Happy Day 100 to Terry Kate!

Happy Day 100 to Flyfishingdude!

Happy Day 100 to Timely!

Happy Day 100 to Wilder!

Happy Day 100 to Versa!

Happy Day 100 to Moi!

Happy Day 100 to Suzabelle!

Happy Day 180 to Jane Marie!

Happy Day 180 to Carly!

Happy Day 180 to A Free Willow!

Happy Day 200 to Coffeegirl!

Happy Day 200 to AMA!

Happy Day 200 to Lotus!

Happy Day 200 to SoberSeasideSally!

Happy Day 300 to Happy Day 200 to Twisty!

Happy Day 300 to Happy Day 200 to KeyLes!

Happy Day 300 to Happy Day 200 to C-J!

Happy Day 300 to Happy Day 200 to Jacci2!

Happy Day 300 to Happy Day 200 to Simon’s Mom!

Happy Day 300 to Mary Elizabeth!

Happy Day 300 to Lovinrunning!

Happy Day 300 to Serenity Now!

Happy Day 300 to Evita87!

Happy Day 300 to Greenyj1!

Happy Day 300 to Jaded!

Happy Day 300 to MindfulMe!

Happy Day 300 to Ishmael!

Happy Day 300 to Lex!

Happy Day 300 to Kay!

Happy Day 300 to Shel!

Happy Day 300 to Mamabird!

Happy Day 300 to ECP!

Happy Day 300 to SG!

Happy Day 300 to Katrinka!

Happy Day 300 to Hidcote!

Happy Day 365 to Kay!

Happy Day 365 to Shel!

Happy Day 365 to Mamabird!

Happy Day 365 to ECP!

Happy Day 365 to SG!

Happy Day 365 to Katrinka!

Happy Day 365 to Hidcote!

Happy Day 400 to Trigirl!

Happy Day 400 to Rehc!

Happy Day 400 to Sadie2015!

Happy Day 400 to JI!

Happy Day 400 to vstuart!

Happy Day 400 to RainyPNW!

Happy Day 400 to Stanley!

Happy Day 400 to Leener!

Happy Day 400 to Smokey!

Happy Day 400 to Sobe the Lion!

Happy Day 400 to Lordi!

Happy Day 400 to Ket!

Happy Day 400 to LD4ME!

Happy Day 400 to Mlodius!

Happy Day 400 to Frog!

Happy Day 400 to Bug June!

Happy Day 400 to MiMoMa!

Happy Day 400 to Lars!

Happy Day 400 to Nan!

Happy Day 400 to Flyaway!

Happy Day 500 to Leila!

Happy Day 500 to Maggie Mo!

Happy Day 500 to lmichel!

Happy Day 500 to LinZeeLou!

Happy Day 500 to BalanceBeam!

Happy Day 500 to BirdSetFree!

Happy Day 500 to Mia!

Happy Day 500 to Sobriety Unlocked!

Happy Day 500 to AuntieMame!

Happy Day 500 to Renne in Rochester!

Happy Day 600 to Newg!

Happy Day 600 to Leigh Ann!

Happy Day 600 to RossFSU!

Happy Day 600 to 35&changing!

Happy Day 600 to SoberSparkles!

Happy Day 600 to MrsWooly!

Happy Day 600 to NatureNancy!

Happy Day 600 to Kaycee!

Happy Day 600 to Blou!

Happy Day 600 to RetiringPartyGirl

Happy Day 600 to Peewit!

Happy Day 600 to Lavender!

Happy Day 600 to Gina!

Happy Day 600 to Helen!

Happy Day 600 to Gomez!

Happy Day 600 to Mummabear!

Happy Day 600 to Loz!

Happy Day 600 to jaylee!

Happy Day 600 to MrsRoberts!

Happy Day 600 to Lizzytish!

Happy Day 600 to Peaceable J!

Happy Day 600 to Mindful Monica!

Happy Day 700 to Princess Buttercup!

Happy Day 700 to SueW!

Happy Day 700 to Roadtosoberville!

Happy Day 700 to Lacie!

Happy Day 700 to KiKi71!

Happy Day 700 to Honey Bear!

Happy Day 700 to Resiliensea!

Happy Day 700 to true.d.true!

Happy Day 700 to Becca1978!

Happy Day 700 to Blondie!

Happy Day 700 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 700 to Capt. Unwined!

Happy Day 700 to Tiger2018!

Happy Day 700 to Honoring Grace!

Happy Day 700 to Boozy Betty!

Happy Day 700 to A_Sober_Cannibal!

Happy Day 700 to Shannon A!

Happy Day 700 to Sisty!

Happy Day 700 to SohoCat!

Happy Day 700 to Ashley!

Happy Day 700 to Gracie514!

Happy Day 700 to Indy!

Happy Day 700 to Pwhims!

Happy Day 700 to Rachel E!

Happy Day 700 to FlightPlan!

Happy Day 700 to Inspired!

Happy Day 700 to Calypso!

Happy Day 700 to Allie!

Happy Day 700 to Bunnie!

Happy Day 700 to Liz!

Happy Day 700 to Girl Named Sam!

Happy Day 700 to Meadowmuffins!

Happy Day 700 to Jeans!

Happy Day 700 to Sallyd!

Happy Day 700 to AmandaJ!

Happy Day 700 to Jena14!

Happy Day 800 to Ruby!

Happy Day 800 to Hollm!

Happy Day 800 to Reg!

Happy Day 800 to Bemmy Girl!

Happy Day 800 to BattleMatt!

Happy Day 800 to *Maverick!

Happy Day 800 to April!

Happy Day 800 to Froggy Google!

Happy Day 800 to unduped!

Happy Day 800 to Tsilver!

Happy Day 800 to vmd free!

Happy Day 800 to Lippy!

Happy Day 800 to Tierrazul!

Happy Day 800 to Nomobsing!

Happy Day 800 to Hollykate!

Happy Day 800 to JT Weir!

Happy Day 800 to Edi!

Happy Day 800 to Leftcoastgirl!

Happy Day 800 to Dry Ginger!

Happy Day 900 to Miss Kell!

Happy Day 900 to Reenie!

Happy Day 900 to Imara!

Happy Day 900 to Conn!

Happy Day 900 to KatieMay!

Happy Day 900 to Clearlee!

Happy Day 900 to Patten!

Happy Day 900 to KT Web!

Happy Day 900 to CaseyM!

Happy Day 900 to Surfrider11!

Happy Day 900 to Runnergirl!

Happy Day 1000 to Lanza!

Happy Day 1000 to Chell!

Happy Day 1000 to Joziegurrl!

Happy Day 1000 to Franny!

Happy Day 1000 to Husband #1!

Happy Day 1000 to TJ!

Happy Day 1000 to SoberInMtl!

Happy Day 1000 to ScrubJay!

Happy Day 1000 to Binkles!

Happy Day 1000 to Elis!

Happy Day 1000 to Lydster!

Happy Day 1000 to TrixeeK!

Happy Day 1000 to Fern!

Happy Day 1000 to Coco!

Happy Day 1000 to ShellMN!

Happy Day 1000 to Suzie Jay!

Happy Day 1000 to SarahBee!

Happy Day 1000 to NS Runner!

Happy Day 1000 to Case Study Michelle!

Happy Day 1000 to Truleah!

Happy Day 1000 to Pohenix!

Happy Day 1000 to ChellyBelly!

Happy Day 1000 to KAB!

Happy Day 1000 to Hughie!

Happy Day 1100 to JP!

Happy Day 1100 to Thirsty Iris!

Happy Day 1100 to Gypsygirl!

Happy Day 1100 to Tree!

Happy Day 1100 to Lucia!

Happy Day 1100 to Juliejean123!

Happy Day 1100 to Ami!

Happy Day 1100 to Sooz!

Happy Day 1100 to EMJ001!

Happy Day 1100 to Lavenderzone!

Happy Day 1100 to Linley!

Happy Day 1100 to Cal!

Happy Day 1200 to Gordon!

Happy Day 1200 to Unwinedgal!

Happy Day 1200 to Meraki!

Happy Day 1200 to Heya Monster!

Happy Day 1200 to Shorttermnoterm!

Happy Day 1200 to AnnieB!

Happy Day 1200 to Whitbell25!

Happy Day 1200 to Ginette!

Happy Day 1200 to Lilac!

Happy Day 1200 to ElizabethDC!

Happy Day 1200 to Silver Birch!

Happy Day 1200 to Mil!

Happy Day 1200 to Seekingpeace!

Happy Day 1200 to Yoda!

Happy Day 1200 to VTgirl!

Happy Day 1200 to MJP!

Happy Day 1200 to Inky!

Happy Day 1200 to Graceful!

Happy Day 1300 to TK!

Happy Day 1300 to Julie-Joy’s Sister!

Happy Day 1300 to Faye858!

Happy Day 1300 to me-fixing-me!

Happy Day 1300 to mythreesons!

Happy Day 1300 to Honner!

Happy Day 1300 to gingerade!

Happy Day 1300 to SophieSomething!

Happy Day 1300 to Jock!

Happy Day 1300 to Sea Turtle!

Happy Day 1300 to Miss M!

Happy Day 1300 to Coffeecuphead!

Happy Day 1300 to Kitkatpaddywack!

Happy Day 1300 to 1035!

Happy Day 1300 to Jayda!

Happy Day 1300 to Frankie!

Happy Day 1300 to LJ63!

Happy Day 1400 to Summer Walking!

Happy Day 1400 to Turcotte!

Happy Day 1400 to Jennetic!

Happy Day 1400 to Souther Magnolia1013!

Happy Day 1400 to Maureen!

Happy Day 1400 to Library Girl!

Happy Day 1400 to Joannie!

Happy Day 1400 to Chace!

Happy Day 1400 to Junebug!

Happy Day 1400 to Frenchie!

Happy Day 1400 to Gabbygirl37!

Happy Day 1400 to TheMadnessStopsNow!

Happy Day 1400 to Elly!

Happy Day 1400 to 19Cathleen!

Happy Day 1400 to rexytime!

Happy Day 1400 to cocomac!

Happy Day 1400 to NewChris!

Happy Day 1400 to Jas!

Happy Day 1500 to Paris!

Happy Day 1500 to Shout444!

Happy Day 1500 to Midwestveggie!

Happy Day 1500 to Rah!

Happy Day 1500 to RoseMarie!

Happy Day 1500 to Janna!

Happy Day 1500 to Jacqui!

Happy Day 1500 to Kelz!

Happy Day 1500 to Petunia!

Happy Day 1500 to Dancing Rabbit!

Happy Day 1500 to Microlady!

Happy Day 1500 to AlexP!

Happy Day 1500 to Chefstarr!

Happy Day 1500 to Monique!

Happy Day 1500 to iphonebonnie!

Happy Day 1500 to chachi!

Happy Day 1500 to nomorepinot!

Happy Day 1500 to fleur!

Happy Day 1500 to chatsworth!

Happy Day 1500 to cricket!

Happy Day 1500 to shar!

Happy Day 1500 to kenney!

Happy Day 1500 to paulita!

Happy Day 1500 to artsmommy!

Happy Day 1500 to ish!

Happy Day 1500 to meagan!

Happy Day 1600 to CassieB!

Happy Day 1600 to Roisin!

Happy Day 1600 to Shelby!

Happy Day 1600 to Weenie!

Happy Day 1600 to 1111!

Happy Day 1600 to Manda!

Happy Day 1600 to Sober lemon!

Happy Day 1600 to PP!

Happy Day 1600 to Foxie!

Happy Day 1600 to Battersea Park!

Happy Day 1600 to Welles!

Happy Day 1600 to Gra!

Happy Day 1600 to SusieQ!

Happy Day 1600 to IrishDee!

Happy Day 1600 to GW!

Happy Day 1600 to JustHadToHaveIt!

Happy Day 1600 to Annie!

Happy Day 1600 to Parsienne Knitter!

Happy Day 1600 to Run Dontwine!

Happy Day 1600 to IrishGirl!

Happy Day 1600 to Janett!

Happy Day 1600 to tlecompte!

Happy Day 1600 to hcassstevens!

Happy Day 1600 to otherjosh!

Happy Day 1700 to Isabel!

Happy Day 1700 to Daybird!

Happy Day 1700 to Connie!

Happy Day 1700 to Hank!

Happy Day 1700 to Emery!

Happy Day 1700 to Going2pieces!

Happy Day 1700 to SoberP!

Happy Day 1700 to DeeN!

Happy Day 1700 to Moore!

Happy Day 1700 to abwalsh!

Happy Day 1700 to Crispy!

Happy Day 1700 to Kimf!

Happy Day 1700 to Rose!

Happy Day 1700 to Santa Cruz!

Happy Day 1700 to Telling TheWords!

Happy Day 1700 to Sherri!

Happy Day 1700 to Lurking with Intent!

Happy Day 1700 to Lizzy!

Happy Day 1700 to OneDayAtATime!

Happy Day 1700 to KateF!

Happy Day 1700 to Wanting to be a sober mom!

Happy Day 1700 to Tammi!

Happy Day 1700 to Shell Bell!

Happy Day 1700 to RM!

Happy Day 1800 to Primrose!

Happy Day 1800 to Sadie!

Happy Day 1800 to SignGurl!

Happy Day 1800 to Jilly Bean!

Happy Day 1800 to Mylene!

Happy Day 1800 to Jeroen!

Happy Day 1800 to Lucy!

Happy Day 1800 to Catherine Gray (day 1859 today)!

Happy Day 1800 to DianeLouise!

Happy Day 1800 to Pam!

Happy Day 1900 to Sharon!

Happy Day 1900 to LD!

Happy Day 1900 to Laurie!

Happy Day 1900 to Durf11!

Kristi Coulter (day 1944 today)!

Happy Day 1900 to Sarita!

Happy Day 1900 to Ingrid!

Happy Day 1900 to Original Beth!

Happy Day 1900 to Leah!

Happy Day 2000 to JM!

Happy Day 2000 to Digs!

Happy Day 2000 to Carrie!

Happy Day 2000 to Amy!

Happy Day 2300 to me today!

I wish I could drink as much as I want and not suffer any consequences

from my daily micro-email sent September 12, 2018

if booze is an elevator that only goes down, you can step off now. find the exit. get off and stay off. (sortie is ‘exit’ in french)
original painting #93 here today.

from me:
this is wednesday. we are home after 20 days of working ‘off-site’ while visiting in-laws, and travelling (mostly being lost) in the US. on the way home from the airport yesterday, as I sipped espresso and ate a power bar to try to wake myself up, mr.B says, “I didn’t tell you this before, but there’s a hurricane warning, a million people on standby for evacuation.” He didn’t use these words, of course, because he doesn’t speak english with words like ‘standby’. the reason he hadn’t told me, is because of my long-standing agitation about flying, and the self-imposed blackout on news that i have, but even MORE SO right before a flight. something bad happened in a plane yesterday? i don’t want to know. doesn’t change me having to get on the plane…
i’m easily wound up, so i have to filter the ‘news’ so i don’t get overwhelmed. and i guess husband knows me well enough to not tell me things that’ll exacerbate my shaking with fear, which i did only 3 times the plane yesterday, grabbing his arm. the rest of the time i happily worked on my laptop and unhappily did not eat the profoundly bad food (thanks air canada).
flying, for me, is like being sober. i do my best to keep my head attached even if it means doing things differently from other people. i reach out and bruise my husband’s arm when required, not often, but i do. when the anxiety stops, i go back to my shitty meal or my laptop. i don’t dwell. though why they continue to serve the shitty meal while it’s bumping around, i have no idea — oh wait, it’s because the bumping around is trivial — it doesn’t mean anything. the flight crew are bored with it. they keep pouring coffee…
i want to share more of the ‘stay here’ philosophy that developed on a bumpy flight in the next email, but also i’ve got some new mantras that i now say during times of anxiety…

some notes from my inbox:

pippa: “just want to say thank you for your emails. They make me feel like I’m in a posse of people who are doing this amazing thing. When I feel on the periphery of the world — cos it looks like everyone else is merrily drinking (even though I know logically this is not the case) — knowing that there are other women [and men] who have made the same excuses, wondered if they were making a mistake going AF (because, you know, I’m not THAT bad), and who go from feeling on top of the world about their decision to feeling shit and weird — makes the difference. Something has shifted for me fundamentally so I’m 10% conflicted but 90% happy and that part of me keeps getting bigger and more certain.  It used to be the other way round. I feel like I’m in a cool gang now.”

~

sobriety shingles: “I’m so glad mr b is enjoying doing this, I love them. Does he know how much the the little exit sign helps us? What it communicates to us? How evocative it is? I’d like to order more, I hope he doesn’t tire of this theme yet, I sure haven’t! Thank you, Belle, for everything.  Et merci monsieur b.”

~

S: “Hi Bella, I don’t normally reply to your emails … the main reason I am a lurker is because I don’t yet fully believe I have an issue with alcohol (although maybe I do since I am here!). I’m more of a binge drinker 2-3 times a week rather than a every day drinker. Which I know is just as bad but I have been reading your emails and I feel that I am starting to see the light …  it’s now Thursday (here in New Zealand) and I have yet to drink again since last Saturday, not because I have stopped myself but because I just don’t want to! seriously this is such a new feeling for me and a lot to take on board especially since I am actively working to manage my anxiety and depression (meds and psychologist).”

~

DaniZ: “honestly, i just feel angry tonight. At the end of the lesson, you have the ‘take a moment and imagine day 140’. I can’t. I DO feel broken, although I liked the part about when you stop drinking, the craving goes away. I know that to be true, but right now, that experience was too long ago, and so the ‘knowing’ is an in my head knowing, not a head AND heart knowing. So yeah, I’m just fucking pissed off right now, and feeling sorry for myself. I have a million and one things to be happy about and grateful for, and I am just heavy in the pout mode. I seriously wish that I could drink as much as I want and not have to suffer any consequences. How fucking childish is that? I’m 48 for god’s sake! Sorry. Totally crappy email, and rather than put it in my journal, I am sending it to you. Which hardly seems like a nice choice, but I am hoping that being honest with my feelings might help.”

drinking is like shaking your mind

from me:
when i posted the ‘thank you’ message, i didn’t really expect people to say thank you, again, in return. and now when i share too many of these it’ll seem self-serving. so i’ll mix in a bit of what my inbox looks like today. the ups and the downs. 

andpops: “Your emails were great!! Im sure that I would not be where I am now without you!  You’re welcome but thank you right back at ya again. PS. It’s also fun to have you in the same time zone. I want to tell you again how psyched I am for Mr. Belles painting and to hang it in my office at work. I’ll send you a pic when it arrives and I hang it!  I even enjoy seeing all the new ones that get posted. It makes me happy that he feels inspired. He should also feel appreciated!”

A: “I’ve read the thank you message several times and wanted to reply but not known how. When you sent the other replies, I felt even more inadequate to respond but just wanted to say how lovely it sounded for you and Mr B.  I have to be honest I’m a philistine regarding art but I admire his talent and am ridiculously pleased for both of you that it’s working. Enough rambling, just really pleased for you both and of course envious.  I need to get out, off and into the sunshine.”

C: “I don’t expect a response, just wanted to vent. I love your husbands art and the theme has hit home. Big time. I have been looking for my Exit door for some time. I haven’t found it yet. Of course I equate that to yet another fault of mine. I think of the person that used to be on the other side of that door and I miss that version of me. But I’m exhausted, all the time. Why is it so much easier to “self medicate” than lace up the running shoes? I used to take such pride in my athletics but can’t even imagine having that discipline now. I am so tired. Tired of trying, working crazy hours, the stress and being alone. That being said, I am blessed with two wonderful kids but they are growing up and have lives of their own. I keep making promises to myself (and silently to you) to be better tomorrow, finally start being that perfect version of myself. And it’s like groundhog day. Without the benefit of positive progression. Anyway, not great at expressing myself and thanks for reading. Does Mr. B create any paintings that include directions to the Exit door? … Take care Belle and thanks for all you do! I still carry around one of your hand written letters with me. Took me weeks before I opened it and read it. Not sure what that’s about.”

pilates queenie: “Your husband’s art has become a minor obsession. I have purchased four and need to stop now. I can only afford so much — but it is worth more to me than you can imagine. I hope he does a showing — maybe some bigger pieces too. Thank him and tell him that his pieces move me in a way that I can’t explain. I may have told you I have many fine artists in my family including my sister and a couple of brothers and my mom who passed away 20 years ago. I think his art is reminiscent of how she made use of color and form. Clearly, he is hitting the mark with many, many people as they have all sold so quickly. Thank you to you too!!  You continue to inspire me to be a healthier person in mind, body and spirit.  Hope you keep doing what you are doing for a long time. 💜❤️💚”

Bean7: “I’m having a grumpy day. Even going to yoga this morning didn’t help. Maybe it did help, and I’d be even worse had I not gone? Laughs. I’m in my room watching NetFLIX AND TAkING cARE oF some tASKS. ONE of MY ANNOYances is my computeR. As you can see itS FUCKED UP … I’ve got mY SOBRIETY TODAY> THAT IS A POSITIve> BEAn7”

jenwithoutwine: “So beautiful. I read this with a soft smile and dampening eyes. And I am a girl who does. not. cry. (mostly) I feel lucky to witness this, so thanks for sharing. Beautiful things happening to beautiful people. It doesn’t get much better.”

Auntie Briggy: “… He clearly loves you so much because his concept of EXIT is so filled with compassion and love. Thank you again for being there. I know some day you will be too famous to email with me – so now I must really get sober for 30 days so I can still have you :)”

magitinto (day 2): “another thing I discovered, I drink to quiet my mind, or at least that is what I thought, however reality is that when drinking the opposite happens, my mind wont stop spinning around a 1000 topics and making everything so dramatic and so intense and so tiring, at the end is worse it is like shaking the mind. What I am really looking for is calm, silence, quite time with my mind focused, something I will never achieve drinking.”

thanks

from my daily micro-email sent August 28, 2018

 

thanks. 
let me start by saying thank you. for all the things.
you know those knots you carry around inside forEVER and then they slowly start to unwind? those knots. sure, you know about them.
that’s how i feel right this minute. un-knotted. (long may it continue!)

i want to say thanks for:
your support while i do this sober thing. you think that i’m doing something for you, but you’re doing something for me — in my coaching calls, in my montreal sober meetup, in my daily emails. i wake up each morning and scroll through my inbox, to see how you’re doing, to see if you have news. to see if you’ve written the song in the sand yet, or cleaned up the cat vomit, or if you’ve travelling home safely from vacation.

i also want to say thanks for the support on the newest addition to the site, the original art from Mr. Belle (who wants to sign his name now as: mr.B).

i don’t share a lot about his life (cuz it’s his life) but let me say this to you and you can read between the lines: he’s painting. evenings and weekends. he’s up and down the stairs to his office (when we’re at home), and now that we’re on vacation, he BROUGHT some of his art stuff in his suitcase to continue here in Canada.

to see him working on vacation is actually lovely. he’s had a slow, hard time with his career for the past 7 years so it’s really been a great thing to see him inspired.
and when THAT happens, it changes the inside of my marriage.
and when THAT happens, i feel ‘relieved’ but also supported. by you. so thank you. from both of us.

i’ll also say thank you to the agent who has asked to read the second draft of the sober fiction book. i’ll say thanks to the Everything list for your support in getting that book done. I’m planning (yes, still) to begin writing a new fiction book in September and i will let you know how you can follow along, too, when the time comes.

if you’re on a booze superhighway, it might be time to exit. if you’re on a booze elevator that only goes down, you can get off now. if you’re in the booze sewer, i promise you it’s better in the sunshine.

if you’re stuck in weird thinking, you can stop drinking and see how you feel.

exit the booze things.
all of them.
alcohol doesn’t suit you.
you’ve tried it.
it’s not for you.

hugs from me


link to original art – Exit 036
exit the sewer, exit the booze elevator.
original art, paintings – not prints – so only one of each available.

Wednesday Celebration Roundup

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

Happy Day 50 to Lheras!

Happy Day 50 to Scrappy!

Happy Day 50 to Wave-Spirit!

Happy Day 50 to Jennifer 2.0!

Happy Day 50 to Hat Trick!

Happy Day 50 to Da!

Happy Day 50 to Allison!

Happy Day 100 to Jane Marie!

Happy Day 100 to Reenster!

Happy Day 100 to Carly!

Happy Day 100 to Alligen!

Happy Day 180 to Mary Elizabeth!

Happy Day 200 to SerenityNow!

Happy Day 200 to Ana Maria!

Happy Day 200 to Prissy!

Happy Day 200 to Lhaschnoodle!

Happy Day 200 to Happy Day 200 to unpuzzlingpatti!

Happy Day 200 to wildflower!

Happy Day 200 to emsyface!

Happy Day 200 to jenwithoutwine!

Happy Day 400 to Dry Ace!

Happy Day 400 to Leila!

Happy Day 500 to Karebear!

Happy Day 500 to RRH!

Happy Day 500 to Goldie!

Happy Day 600 to Lime Tree!

Happy Day 600 to Sophiestar!

Happy Day 600 to Jazzie!

Happy Day 700 to Gene!

Happy Day 700 to Lola4126!

Happy Day 700 to TJS!

Happy Day 700 to RubyHarper!

Happy Day 700 to Poppy!

Happy Day 900 to Auds!

Happy Day 900 to Kaffy B!

Happy Day 900 to Debbie!

Happy Day 900 to KLC!

Happy Day 900 to Country Pat!

Happy Day 1000 to Hughie!

Happy Day 1200 to Grateful Girl!

Happy Day 1200 to Jenuful!

Happy Day 1300 to Sean!

Happy Day 1300 to Indian Lake!

Happy Day 1300 to Mel P!

Happy Day 1400 to Canadian Girl!

Happy Day 1400 to Festie!

Happy Day 1400 to Graceb!

Happy Day 1500 to Sanfransober!

Happy Day 1500 to Lara!

Happy Day 1600 to RunnerMom!

Happy Day 1700 to Janet!

Happy Day 1700 to Denise!

wolfie is a cockroach

From my inbox, this message from L:

“I woke up feeling MUCH better after emailing you. is there a connection? probably so. and also i had a bit of a revelation.

remember my email where i talked about feeling like wolfie was behind me, and i was scared to turn around to check to see if he was getting smaller, blah blah blah? …

i realized something. i didn’t feel like i was doing the sober thing properly, not because i was stuffing my mouth with cake, but because i wasn’t getting “better.” i wasn’t being cured of my wino-ism. at the end of the 100 day challenge i wanted to keep going because i still didn’t know what i thought about it all. but that was probably code for, “i’m not cured yet, so i need to keep going.”

THERE’S NO FUCKING CURE!!

and its taken me this long to accept that. wolfie wasn’t going away because he’s a fucking cockroach, and those motherfuckers do not die. they would survive a nuclear war, and so would wolfie. fuuuuuuuuck wolfie.

cockroaches are fucking disgusting creatures and i fucking hate them (can you tell)? but i’ve also over time accepted that they are here to stay. and so what do i do? i make sure that an exterminator comes regularly to spray. and as soon as i see one around, if maybe i’ve forgotten to call the bug man, i sure as hell call the bug man then. i don’t let them infiltrate and set up shop. first sign of them and i take action. because i fucking hate cockroaches.

and i hate wolfie too.

now my next bit of work is to really truly accept that wolfie is here to stay. and get to work on keeping him away.”

024. Worth It

Sometimes, when you’re trying to quit drinking, the voice in your head can get really loud. So I send out free one minute audio messages of encouragement (and ass-kicking) to anyone who wants them. This is a transcript of One Minute Message #024.


OMM024. Worth It

I’d like to go into your head for just a minute
and re-program something, if you don’t mind.
I’ll just slip in one ear and come back out the other.
And while I’m inside, I want to change one thing.

This is worth doing
because you are worth it.
Being sober is worth doing
because you are worth it.

Any shitty sober day
is better than a new Day 1.
And any improvement that you can make
to the quality of your life
is worth it for you.

You don’t have to do it for your family
you don’t have to do it for your kids
you don’t have to do it for anybody

you doing it for you is enough.

I go in one ear and I say:
This is worth doing
because you are worth it —
and then I come out the other ear
and I leave you.



*listen to the free one minute messages (there are 300+), by logging into your gumroad library here. if you haven’t signed up for the free one minute messages before, you can do that here (you only need to sign up once and then you get access to all of the OMMs).


Senior Sober Workshop: Worth

(and senior just means you’re 200+ days sober)
class begins Tuesday, July 24th
registration has just begun
small group, live calls, homework, treat box in the mail
www.soberlinks.me/worth

Let’s see how this goes

from me: do you quit drinking 'forever' or is it an experiment? what are the advantages of framing it as an experiment? I asked, you answered:

J: "If you can say ‘I choose not to drink’ it’s easier than saying ‘I can’t drink’ which can then start feelings of deprivation and the Wolfie voice. Framing it as an experiment should make it more achievable mentally than forever, your explanation of running as an example made sense, if you said that you were going to run x amount every day for the rest of your life ... what would happen? :)"

Flo (Day 47): "Hi Belle. I think framing it as an experiment an making it a choice. 'I'm choosing to go 100 days sober' is a whole lot less confronting than 'I'm going to give up alcohol forever', which frankly seems kind of unreal. I think if I say i'm giving up forever, i feel a fear in my solar plexus area and sick or maybe that's the hole i think needs filling up with something (alcohol). Saying that i'm choosing to do this for 100 days feels like i'm easing myself into this whole concept of finding out how my life will be sober, and will it be better? Let's just see how this goes and make a decision later. So less confronting."

~
Question: what do you think about quitting drinking as a choice ... you know, a choice that supports you to be your best you (this is a trick question)​.


New Podcast Series (FREE! FREE!)

Need to catch up on episodes 1-3? Click Here

umr004.gratitude > i know that the idea of gratitude is talked about a lot. but what does it mean, in a practical sense. like HOW can you have an attitude of gratitude? i think i stumbled on an idea that works for me when I was doing a catering job this past weekend. 

Show Notes:

Get these messages on iTunes (apple podcast) > link

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Music: “Ibiza Dream,” thanks to Chris Haugen

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Feedback from the ​meditation audio series: 

enroute: “​Thank you for that Belle, this meditation worked for me, and I have listened to a lot of teachers, a lot of silence, a lot of endless thoughts in my head, a lot of perspectives on meditation. For me, I know that whatever practice suits you, it lights the path to consciousness which lights the path to sobriety, creativity and more and more...​” ​Subscribe here.