loneliness, depression, or boredom

from my inbox:

L: “I’m not doing well. I keep starting and failing. I keep starting out in the morning with plans for a new day 1, even get one occasionally, then feel so good, I decide to get some wine. So stupid, I know. I even thought the Solstice to Solstice would be a good marker for me, but nope. I subscribed to more audios from you, have increased treats … but still fall short in the evening with loneliness, depression, or boredom. I was even half hoping I would get my daughter’s cold, so I would quit again, got two weeks in last time, but went backwards again. My doctor prescribed meds to use to get past the cravings, but I’m always afraid to take stuff, so I haven’t tried them. That seems ridiculous too, since I have no problem poisoning myself with wine.. I don’t want to get caught in the thought of, Oh I’ll just wait until the first of the month. I want this to be my day 1 that sticks.. It will be when I get home from work today, and my brain will say, Oh it vacation time, you have a week off, or one more night, which of course there is no such thing! Heavy sigh.”

me: I know that feeling. I’d quit in the morning and then drink at 6 pm. and then repeat. someone told me they had 1000 day 1s (like 3 years worth) and I believed them. and you know what, it’s normal and totally predictable that someone with an anxiety issue would have anxiety about taking the medication 🙂 you can take it anyway, as a trial. you’ve tried other stuff, you haven’t tried this, and it might help. you don’t wait for special days. you want to feel better today so you start now. date of last drink can be today. really. and reach out for more support. if we are booked to talk once a week, you may find it easier to be more accountable and to get the courage to try the other things that will help. ~ hugs from me



shameless commercial link: 
book available in paperback, kindle & audio MP3 versions. www.100daysoberchallenge.com  Available through Gumroad, which means you can pay with a credit card, including AMEX, no paypal required. Electronic files delivered instantly. Get the bundle.

Photos: Store Windows

Photography Assignment: Store Windows

The goal for this assignment was to take a photo of a store window.

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures, this post is now closed to new submissions.



 This post is now closed to new submissions.



test message for Sunday’s live show

On Sunday, August 6th, I’m going to do a live 2-hour radio show.

In preparation, I turned on my mic and did a test message. I was trying to record a One Minute Message but things went VERY wrong.

Listen now to the little clip about Sunday’s call.


Set your timer.
Sunday August 6th, 2017






August 6th

6 a.m.
8 a.m.

9 a.m.
11 a.m.

2 p.m.
4 p.m.

3 p.m.
5 p.m.

11 p.m.
1 a.m.

When it’s show time, you can listen here > http://mixlr.com/sober-belle/

talk soon,

you’ve tried it for year. now try something else.

this is an extract from podcast SP206 being sent out to podcast subscribers today.

it’s about you wanting to be sober. During a recent live call, D asked me what she could do to be sober, since she’d been trying for a year. here’s my answer to her. This is a 3 minute extract from the podcast (and update, she’s on day 34 today, so something about this answer seems to have worked).



You want a different result. And it’s not that there isn’t support available for us, it’s that we don’t want it. If your thought process isn’t working now like it did before, then you do new things now. You’re going to need different things to get you going. you’ve changed. the elevator only goes down. The time to step off is right now.

This audio is taken from podcast SP206 (the full version of the audio is 24 minutes long).


Download the audio podcast episode 206

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Question: What phrase do you hear in this audio, perhaps as if for the first time – something that makes you think “oh yeah. that.” I’ll select a comment in the next 48 hrs and will send a present. anonymous comments are fine.


Tuesday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to ree67!

Happy Day 50 to Fifty & Free!

Happy Day 50 to Sillymelove!

Happy Day 50 to Gracesea!

Happy Day 50 to mich2point0!

Happy Day 100 to Arya!

Happy Day 180 to Hernoodlyness!

Happy Day 180 to Jacci2!

Happy Day 180 to Honeybadger!

Happy Day 180 to Sobersparkles!

Happy Day 180 to Mrs.Wooly!

Happy Day 180 to NatureNancy!

Happy Day 180 to redredwine!

Happy Day 200 to La Sobria!

Happy Day 200 to Bridget!

Happy Day 200 to Blou!

Happy Day 200 to Jazzhands70!

Happy Day 200 to RetiringPartyGirl!

Happy Day 200 to Stefanie!

Happy Day 200 to IngridandMac!

Happy Day 200 to Peewit!

Happy Day 200 to Lavender!

Happy Day 200 to Sheree!

Happy Day 200 to Gina!

Happy Day 200 to Helen!

Happy Day 200 to LunaBlu!

Happy Day 200 to Gomez!

Happy Day 200 to Sings!

Happy Day 200 to ararebird!

Happy Day 200 to mummabear!

Happy Day 300 to Honoring Grace!

Happy Day 300 to Boozy Betty!

Happy Day 300 to A_Sober_Cannibal!

Happy Day 300 to Shannon!

Happy Day 300 to Sisty!

Happy Day 300 to Sohocat!

Happy Day 300 to Ashley!

Happy Day 300 to Grace514!

Happy Day 300 to Indy!

Happy Day 300 to Pwhims!

Happy Day 365 to Bemmy Girl!

Happy Day 365 to BattleMatt!

Happy Day 365 to Maverick!

Happy Day 365 to Molly Jones!

Happy Day 365 to April!

Happy Day 365 to Jaded!

Happy Day 365 to RachelB!

Happy Day 400 to Nomobsing!

Happy Day 400 to Sabrina!

Happy Day 500 to Patten!

Happy Day 500 to KT Web!

Happy Day 600 to ShellMN!

Happy Day 600 to SarahBee!

Happy Day 600 to NSRunner!

Happy Day 600 to mamafergs!

Happy Day 700 to Sooz!

Happy Day 700 to EMJ001!

Happy Day 700 to Lavenderzone!

Happy Day 700 to TickleMeShelmo!

Happy Day 800 to Lilac!

Happy Day 800 to ElizabethDC!

Happy Day 800 to Silver Birch!

Happy Day 800 to Mil!

Happy Day 800 to Seekingpeace!

Happy Day 800 to Yoda!

Happy Day 800 to VTgirl!

Happy Day 800 to MJP!

Happy Day 900 to Sophiesomething!

Happy Day 900 to Rache B!

Happy Day 900 to YogayamagirlJock!

Happy Day 900 to Sea Turtle!

Happy Day 1000 to Junebug!

Happy Day 1000 to Frenchie!

Happy Day 1100 to Fleur!

Happy Day 1100 to Chatsworth!

Happy Day 1100 to Cricket!

Happy Day 1100 to Shar!

Happy Day 1200 to GW!

Happy Day 1200 to JustHadToHaveIt!

Happy Day 1200 to Apprentice Annie!

Happy Day 1200 to ParisienneKnitter!

Happy Day 1200 to Run Dontwine!

Happy Day 1300 to Jacques!

Happy Day 1300 to Rose!

Happy Day 1300 to Santa Cruz!

Happy Day 1300 to Phoebe!

Happy Day 1300 to Doll Face!

Happy Day 1300 to Telling The Words!

Happy Day 1300 to Sherri!

Happy Day 1300 to Lurking with Intent!

Happy Day 1300 to Libby!

Happy Day 1300 to Traci!

Happy Day 1300 to Winkle!

Happy Day 1400 to Jeroen!

Happy Day 1400 to Lucy!

Happy Day 1400 to TipTree!

Happy Day 1400 to Cat Girl!

Happy Day 1500 to Kristi Coulter!

Happy Day 1500 to C How!

Happy Day 1500 to Sarita!

Happy Day 1500 to Ingrid!

Happy Day 1600 to Carrie!

it can’t be that important

if you work in a place with a boozy culture, it can’t be that important to ‘fit in’ that you’ll do something that isn’t what’s best for you.



It can’t be so important to fit in. It just can’t. So you have three choices: you either attend the events and don’t drink, or you don’t attend, or you work somewhere else. And a boozy cruise? I say no to that, hands-down, and here’s why.

This audio is taken from podcast SP204 (the full version of the audio is 20 minutes long).

If you’re not a podcast subscriber, you should be. do that here > http://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/store/podcast.subscription.htm


thanks for the judgment [fiction]

quote from the new fiction writing project. this is fiction. this isn’t me, and it isn’t an email from a subscriber 🙂 it’s the internal dialogue of the main character as they imagine what speaking with their boss will be like …

What, quit drinking? Are you high? Drinking is the only thing that’s holding me together right now. To suggest that it’s perhaps the cause of any of this is illogical. You don’t know me. My life is a mess, OK, that’s why I drink. You’d drink too if you knew what I have to deal with. Thanks for the judgement. (No judgement.) Really, you don’t think it’s just a tad judgey to accuse someone of being an alcoholic out of nowhere? (Didn’t say that. Asked if you’d thought to perhaps take a break from the booze to see if it improved anything.)

Like if skip my one glass of wine tonight, my job will magically improve? Yeah, right, that’s logical. And if I don’t drink next Monday, my credit card will be paid off? This whole conversation is stupid. I wanted … oh forget it. I thought you were going to give me a YouTube video about stress in the workplace or something like that. Shit. Really. What I do when I’m not at work, that’s none of your business.


question: did you ever have a conversation like this? with someone else or just in your head?

Tuesday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Rory!

Happy Day 50 to Chalee!

Happy Day 50 to Wanderlust!

Happy Day 50 to NMD!

Happy Day 50 to Annikki!

Happy Day 50 to Maggie Mo!

Happy Day 50 to lmichel!

Happy Day 100 to SDBKatz!

Happy Day 100 to Auntimame!

Happy Day 100 to Renne in Rochester!

Happy Day 100 to Rehc!

Happy Day 100 to Sobergirl72!

Happy Day 180 to Ninabear!

Happy Day 180 to Aimee!

Happy Day 180 to Kaycee!

Happy Day 180 to La Sobria!

Happy Day 180 to Blou!

Happy Day 180 to Jazzhands70!

Happy Day 180 to Retiring Party Girl!

Happy Day 180 to Stefanie!

Happy Day 200 to Mummabear!

Happy Day 200 to LOL!

Happy Day 200 to GK!

Happy Day 200 to Wanda T!

Happy Day 200 to Franci!

Happy Day 200 to Loz!

Happy Day 200 to IC Momentum!

Happy Day 200 to Buttercup244!

Happy Day 200 to SoberinVA!

Happy Day 300 to Rachel E!

Happy Day 300 to FlightPlan!

Happy Day 300 to Inspired!

Happy Day 300 to Calypso!

Happy Day 300 to Bunnie!

Happy Day 300 to Liz!

Happy Day 365 to Unduped!

Happy Day 365 to TSilver!

Happy Day 365 to Froggy Google!

Happy Day 365 to Frupa63!

Happy Day 365 to VMD Free!

Happy Day 400 to RaspberriKiss!

Happy Day 400 to Hollykate!

Happy Day 400 to JT Weir!

Happy Day 400 to Edi!

Happy Day 600 to Case Study Michelle!

Happy Day 600 to Phoenix!

Happy Day 800 to MJP!

Happy Day 800 to Graceful!

Happy Day 900 to Miss M!

Happy Day 900 to Coffeecuphead!

Happy Day 1000 to Gabbygirl37!

Happy Day 1000 to TheMadnessStopsNow!

Happy Day 1000 to Elly!

Happy Day 1000 to Kenney!

Happy Day 1100 to Kenney!

Happy Day 1100 to Paulita!

Happy Day 1200 to IrishGirl!

Happy Day 1200 to KateF!

Happy Day 1300 to Challenges!

Happy Day 1800 to Katherine!

the boozing you is a liar

if you drink, it creates a whole, different version of you, and it’s not the real you.



If you drink, you change the trajectory of your life in a large way. So when we stop drinking, it’s like there’s two people – the old us (the boozer) and the new us (the sober us). Which one is the real one?

This audio is taken from podcast SP203 (the full version of the audio is 30 minutes long).


Download the audio podcast episode 203

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).


Tuesday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Liquid Tracy

Happy Day 50 to LinZeeLou!

Happy Day 50 to Rambling Rose!

Happy Day 50 to MsM!

Happy Day 50 to Kimpossible!

Happy Day 50 to Doriomom!

Happy Day 50 to Balancebeam!

Happy Day 100 to -L.!

Happy Day 100 to LittleRed!

Happy Day 100 to Tea!

Happy Day 100 to Happy Day 100 to Pahobe!

Happy Day 100 to Sandal!

Happy Day 100 to Spring Rabbit!

Happy Day 100 to Scrappy!

Happy Day 100 to Sobergirl72!

Happy Day 100 to Bonkers!

Happy Day 100 to Karebear!

Happy Day 180 to IngridandMac!

Happy Day 180 to Gomez!

Happy Day 180 to Peewit!

Happy Day 180 to Steph!

Happy Day 180 to Lavender!

Happy Day 180 to Sheree!

Happy Day 180 to Gina!

Happy Day 180 to Helen!

Happy Day 180 to LunaBlu!

Happy Day 180 to Sings!

Happy Day 180 to Ararebird!

Happy Day 180 to Mummabear!

Happy Day 180 to Wanda T!

Happy Day 180 to LOL!

Happy Day 180 to GK!

Happy Day 180 to Franci!

Happy Day 180 to IC Momemtum!

Happy Day 180 to Loz!

Happy Day 180 to Buttercup244!

Happy Day 200 to Jaylee!

Happy Day 200 to MrsRoberts!

Happy Day 200 to Lizzytish!

Happy Day 200 to Peaceable J!

Happy Day 200 to Mindful Monica!

Happy Day 200 to SarahJune31!

Happy Day 300 to Girl Named Sam!

Happy Day 300 to Meadowmuffins!

Happy Day 300 to Jeans!

Happy Day 300 to Carly!

Happy Day 300 to AmandaJ!

Happy Day 300 to Jena14!

Happy Day 300 to Lori!

Happy Day 365 to TT!

Happy Day 365 to Tierrazul!

Happy Day 365 to Nomorebsing!

Happy Day 365 to Sabrina!

Happy Day 400 to Leftcoastgirl!

Happy Day 400 to Rivets!

Happy Day 400 to BethBeth!

Happy Day 500 to CaseyM!

Happy Day 500 to Surfrider11!

Happy Day 500 to Runnergirl!

Happy Day 600 to ChellyBelly!

Happy Day 600 to KAB!

Happy Day 600 to StonewallPDS!

Happy Day 600 to Hughie!

Happy Day 600 to JP!

Happy Day 700 to Linley!

Happy Day 700 to Nicholascharles!

Happy Day 700 to Cal!

Happy Day 800 to Graceful!

Happy Day 800 to Grateful Girl!

Happy Day 900 to Kitkatpaddywack!

Happy Day 900 to 1035!

Happy Day 900 to Jayda!

Happy Day 900 to Frankie!

Happy Day 900 to LJ63!

Happy Day 900 to Sean!

Happy Day 1000 to Rexytime!

Happy Day 1000 to Cocomac!

Happy Day 1000 to NewChris!

Happy Day 1000 to Jas!

Happy Day 1000 to Ish!

Happy Day 1000 to Meagan!

Happy Day 1000 to Lara!

Happy Day 1200 to Janett!

Happy Day 1200 to Tlecompte!

Happy Day 1200 to Hcasstevens!

Happy Day 1200 to Otherjosh!

Happy Day 1200 to Runnermom!

Happy Day 1200 to JLynn!

Happy Day 1226 to Julie Joy’s Dad!

Happy Day 1300 to Margy!

Happy Day 1300 to Wanting to be a Sober Mom!

Happy Day 1300 to Tammi!

Happy Day 1300 to Shell Bell!

Happy Day 1300 to Tuomas!

Happy Day 1300 to Nuchter Maya!

Happy Day 1300 to Janet!

Happy Day 1300 to Beach_Gurl!

Happy Day 1400 to DianeLouise!

Happy Day 1500 to KristinRecovering!

Happy Day 1500 to Original Beth!

Happy Day 1500 to Leah!

Happy 5 years to me 🙂