Let’s see how this goes

from me: do you quit drinking 'forever' or is it an experiment? what are the advantages of framing it as an experiment? I asked, you answered:

J: "If you can say ‘I choose not to drink’ it’s easier than saying ‘I can’t drink’ which can then start feelings of deprivation and the Wolfie voice. Framing it as an experiment should make it more achievable mentally than forever, your explanation of running as an example made sense, if you said that you were going to run x amount every day for the rest of your life ... what would happen? :)"

Flo (Day 47): "Hi Belle. I think framing it as an experiment an making it a choice. 'I'm choosing to go 100 days sober' is a whole lot less confronting than 'I'm going to give up alcohol forever', which frankly seems kind of unreal. I think if I say i'm giving up forever, i feel a fear in my solar plexus area and sick or maybe that's the hole i think needs filling up with something (alcohol). Saying that i'm choosing to do this for 100 days feels like i'm easing myself into this whole concept of finding out how my life will be sober, and will it be better? Let's just see how this goes and make a decision later. So less confronting."

~
Question: what do you think about quitting drinking as a choice ... you know, a choice that supports you to be your best you (this is a trick question)​.


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umr004.gratitude > i know that the idea of gratitude is talked about a lot. but what does it mean, in a practical sense. like HOW can you have an attitude of gratitude? i think i stumbled on an idea that works for me when I was doing a catering job this past weekend. 

Show Notes:

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Music: “Ibiza Dream,” thanks to Chris Haugen

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Feedback from the ​meditation audio series: 

enroute: “​Thank you for that Belle, this meditation worked for me, and I have listened to a lot of teachers, a lot of silence, a lot of endless thoughts in my head, a lot of perspectives on meditation. For me, I know that whatever practice suits you, it lights the path to consciousness which lights the path to sobriety, creativity and more and more...​” ​Subscribe here.

[free audios] – Urban Meditation Starts Today

Today begins a new 10-part audio series called Urban Meditations (Regret)

Recorded in different urban environments, this series of mindfulness exercises will tie in with meditation, being still, and sobriety -- with a focus on the theme of regret. Yes, I'll be talking, but there is also quiet time for reflection too.

This 10-part podcast is free, hosted on gumroad and itunes. supported only by donations. it works out every time. no sponsorship. just you pitching in where you can.

And as promised, I have the preliminary 'intro' audio and episode 1 ready today.

umr000.intro > This is the first official audio in the new 10-part Urban Meditation series focussing on regret. Today I am recording in a park, complete with a visit from two dogs, and a rat. Never a dull moment. Time for a pause, are you ready?

umr001.cute > You are as cute as you’re ever going to be. Today. Right now. OK, if not, you’re definitely as YOUNG as you’re going to be.

Show Notes:

Get these messages on iTunes (apple podcast) > link

Get them on Stitcher > link

Get them on Gumroad > link

Music: “Ibiza Dream,” thanks to Chris Haugen

Donations to support these audios and keep them free.
On Gumroad > link
By Paypal (no VAT) > link

Interview with Kristi Coulter (2016)

There was a time when Kristi Coulter and I were sober penpals, and we both said "oh you used to be a writer? me too. before drinking. did you also study writing at school and then not really use it? me too."

I'm sure you've done something like this. You were a person before, and then booze soaked into the fabric of your life and you lost some of the old person, some of the fresh-ideas person, some of the adventurous person.

Then you remove the booze, and the real you starts to shine again. (Really, it is exactly like drowning the little orchid with bottles of wine—it doesn't bloom—and then you stop pouring alcohol on it and it brightens up again.)

OK, so time has passed and now KC is here (book writing and widely-shared-viral-article writing) and i'm here (one book done, sober fiction book underway). 

KC is sober penpal #128 and she's on day 1786 today (Saturday). 

And way back, before she was well and truly famous, I interviewed her on my podcast. I've pulled that audio out of the archives and am sharing it as my weekend audio.

Here is a three-minute sample starting at about the 11 minute mark. This was recorded in July 2016 and it's so cool that we mention the Medium article that would then go on to become the viral piece...


If you would like to hear the entire one-hour interview, you can click the red link below. The price is ZERO and then you get the entire MP3 file of our podcast.

Download the entire podcast episode
#150: Kristi Coulter (FREE)

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try new things

I don't know how to say this so that you can hear me.

It's not just about starting again on day 1.

It's not just about saying "today is my new day 1."

It's about changing something.

Because if what you've been doing up to now isn't working, then you need to do something different.

It's not just 'try harder'. It's 'try different'.

If we are penpals, and you email me and say "today's my new day 1," I'm going to thunk you and say...

What are you changing?

Because you don't want to hang around day 1 anymore. And you want things to be different. And you're emailing a sober coach, so you want her opinion, because if you didn't, you'd just not tell me! 

So when you tell me "I'm on day 1," it would be incredibly bad form—and not fair—if I support you having a new day 1  without changing anything. That wouldn't be fair to you. It'd probably be irresponsible on my part, too. 

​Because this booze thing can get worse and worse.

We don't want that to be you and we don't want that to happen to you. 

It's not just having a new day 1 ... having a new day 1 is fabulous, don't get me wrong.

You need a new day 1 AND you need to add some new things because what you've been doing up to now hasn't been enough. 

And you want to move away from here, so you're going to do some new things now. 

~

If you would like some ideas on what you can add, so that you stop repeating the day 1 cycle, send me an email ​and i'll send you some links to things. hugs from me



I have transcribed this text from the (FREE) one minute audio message #168: New Things. ​ 

  • Get these ​one-minute messages on Gumroad > link
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Audio: My Situation is Different

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #228 sent to sober podcast members.

This audio is a personalized response to someone who asked me “but what about these circumstances, my life is hard, these things and these things.”

And no matter what day you’re on today, there’s a message in here for you.

I received this from J: after she heard my personalized reply:

“It’s really interesting to me that you said (and of course this is true) that I would have ended up overdrinking whether I married my widower or not … I see that you are of course right – I’d be an overdrinker with an overdrinker’s brain whether I had this particular job or these particular kids as my responsibility or not. So. That’s the truth. Wolfie will tell my very receptive brain that drinking anaesthetic would be a good idea. NO MATTER WHAT”

==

Question: How tempting is it to think that our situation is different? (this is a trick question; wolfie is an anus).

==

hugs, me

below i’ve posted a 3 minute clip from the longer audio, all i ask is that you leave a message in the comments. If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #228

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(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

 

Audio: All The Stuff

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #222 sent to sober podcast members.

When J sent me an email that said this: “I use all the supports, I do it all. But then a switch flips and I’m drinking…” I just had to reply.

The difference between what our brain says we’re doing, versus what we’re doing… that’s what I talk about here.

Can you see how this audio applies to something in your life? lemme know.

P.S., here’s the response from J after she listened: “Thank you. Wow. Awesome. I listened once and will listen again and take notes and email you and make lists. You are right on all accounts … My head is spinning now. I’m going to work up a plan and I will email it to you. Thank you so much for this. I needed to hear it.”

 

below i’ve posted a 3 minute clip from the longer audio, all i ask is that you leave a message in the comments. If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #222

Sign up for the monthly podcast membership
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

 

Duck Ponderings 004 – The Book

catch up on episodes 1-3

duck-ponderings.dp04.book

Duck Ponderings 004 – The Book. The first book was an ‘accident’, the second book was more intentional. My 80% free model. The idea of being led by subscribers. How I’ve ‘stopped pushing’.  Oh, and there are horses at the duck pond today! And I tried really hard to get a photo …

dp4 IMG_8201

dp4 IMG_8203

 

Links mentioned:

”See the peacocks from here” (one minute message 284) >  http://traffic.libsyn.com/oneminutemessage/omm284.when.you.get.here.youll.see.this.mp3

200+ free One Minute Messages > https://gumroad.com/l/belle-omm/100dscb

Longer Podcasts Archives > http://tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/store/archivedaudios.htm

The blog online > http://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/blog/

The blog collection of Year 1 in a PDF file (“Keeping the Wolf from the Door”) > https://gumroad.com/l/Year1-Blog/

The actual how-to-quit-drinking book (“Tired of Thinking About Drinking: Take My 100-Day Sober Challenge”) > http://www.100daysoberchallenge.com

Bundle of Top 10 Podcasts > https://gumroad.com/l/BellesTop10Podcasts/highjump084

Article on Medium about pushing > https://medium.com/@SoberBelle/ive-stopped-pushing-this-is-living-sober-fe0e09b95b46

Music: “Acoustic Blues,” thanks to Jason Shaw, https://bit.ly/2pZvbyu

~

Donations to support these audios and keep them free 🙂 https://gum.co/DuckPonderingsaudios

 

Audio: I’m a guest on Lee Davy’s Alcohol & Addiction Podcast

In January 2018, I was a guest on Lee Davy’s Alcohol & Addiction Podcast. More about Lee here > The Truth About Alcohol*

We talked for 1.5 hrs (no kidding!) about language, metaphors, starting a sober journey with a trial/challenge. We also examined the differences between group support (which he offers) and the kind of one-on-one support that I do.

I have sent this audio out to my sober podcast members. But today I want to share it with you.

This link will be live for the next 48 hrs [link has been removed]

 

[link has been removed]

 

HOMEWORK:

after you listen, post a comment and tell me what phrase from this audio is an a-ha moment for you. Something that you’ve maybe heard before, but today you REALLY heard it. Loud and clear.

 

Download this interview with Lee Davy

Sign up for my weekly podcast subscription
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(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

 

==

comments from listeners:

Springer: “Belle! I listened to your podcast interview with Lee Davy 3 or 4 times so far. It is brilliant!!! You are both inspiring and driven to help people. It was such a great interview. You (as always) sound very calm and graceful and wise and he also sounds like a very cool person. Thanks for sharing that with the world!!”

Hidcote:A mood isn’t a decision is such a cool mantra. And when I visualise my neural pathways changing and adapting is one of the best, comforting, uplifting feelings ever :-)”

Sami: “I went to my first aa meeting in about 10 years on Monday & felt exactly the same way I did 10 years ago, totally disconnected, it just did not resonate with me, I dont know why but I felt totally depressed afterwards, felt sorry for the people at the meeting & what they had been through & this made me sad, I dont need to feel worse than what I already do!  I understand its only 1 meeting but I went with someone who recommended it as a fabulous meeting, I just felt like it was not for me, maybe wolfie talking who knows but so not keen to go back. I just listened to your interview with Lee Davy & everything you said totally resonated with me, I got more out it than I did at the meeting. So am thinking I should sign up for the 100 day challenge today, this makes sense & see how I feel afterwards….”

~

  • this is an affiliate link. that means that if you go to lee’s site and you happen to spend money there, he will send me some coins. note: i have not reviewed his stuff. i haven’t taken his class. i am not recommending his stuff. i’m just disclosing that this is an affiliate link.

 

 

Audio: Thirty Years

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #220 sent to sober podcast members.

Sober in St. Pete asked me for a personalized message, to talk about the fact that she’s been trying to do this sober thing for a while.

“I’d love something about how LONG I have tried this. Remember I am 60 years old, and started around age 30 on this path to recovery, with three resets after 1.5 years. I need to know that this is possible. Guess I need some hope.”

There’s an interesting ‘undercurrent’ to my message to her. What do you hear me saying that is applicable to YOU, no matter what day you’re on? hugs from me

 

below i’ve posted a 3.5 minute clip from the longer audio, all i ask is that you leave a message in the comments. If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

and update, Sober in St. Pete is on day 27 today 🙂

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #220

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(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

 

Audio: Dating

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #219 sent to sober podcast members.

Rehc asked for a personalized audio about dating, as a sober person, especially when you meet someone magical and think “holy, this is the one!” I have a mix of softy-softy and kick-ass in this audio, and am a bit more kick-ass-y than usual.

 

below i’ve posted a 2 minute clip from the longer audio, all i ask is that you leave a message in the comments. If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

Feedback from listeners:

Fridgkit: “I liked the dating podcast. As a married person … married couples ‘date’ other couples. Like the pair my husband and I had dinner with that love wine-pairing tasting menus. It’s easy to let Wolfie trick you into ‘you have to be able to drink a little, or there won’t be anyone you can socialize with.’ Not true. Or if it is true, you need new friends.”

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #219

Sign up for the monthly podcast membership
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).