Audio: Social Worker

THIS IS CRITICAL.

Stop what you’re doing.

I want to share with you this full-length episode from my sober podcast series. It’s called “Social Worker” (SP217) and it’s about 40 minutes long.

I originally thought I’d interview a social worker who works as an addictions specialist. Sounds like a good idea, right? And our talk goes well … until it doesn’t. She says some things that I don’t agree with. And at one point it’s a little bit awkward. You need to listen all the way through, because this does NOT go how you think it will.

So below i’ve posted the entire 40 minute podcast. usually i just post a clip but today, thanks to some really lovely donations to the Sober Good Works fund (thanks!), i’m posting this audio for everyone to listen to – even if you’re not a paying podcast subscriber.

 

[ link has been removed ]

 

HOMEWORK:

after you listen, post a comment and tell me what phrase from this audio is an a-ha moment for you. Something that you’ve maybe heard before, but today you REALLY heard it. Loud and clear.

 

Download the Social Worker podcast here

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

==

Comments from listeners:

Ariel: “The social worker podcast. Just amazing. I cringed waiting for each response. My heart was full that your disclaimers and apologies were still followed with straight arrows and truths. I had so much appreciation that you were not swayed by respectable titles, licenses, and professional experience. You both were gracious and I felt so much one-ness with the reality of just how many of us need to be on this road together.”

C: “Addiction and rehabilitation counseling is, at times … a commercial business with boxes to check off that says “yup, talked about that.” Wolfie wasn’t on the list for today… It’s sad rally. And here are more gross overgeneralizations: some counselors can become qualified (at least in the states) with little training compared to that of others in the mental health professions. Even if a counselor has other (better) credentials, they may fall back to a lowest common denominator way of thinking when working with addiction.  Also, there is a lot of pressure to get counselors on staff who can sign off on rehab, probation, and court documents rather than spend time with client in a meaningful way …  You doing work with empathy is a foreign concept for a lot of folks. it is much more subtle, less valued, in this capitalism or other instant gratification things in our culture. It is even seen as weakness. You. The Beatles didn’t invent music, but their take on it changed the way music sounds. I enjoy very much your intuition, original prospective, and encourage you on the path; you help dry academics humanize their therapy — you have a burning question about life, a niche, you explore it with a unique lens.”

Dr. C: “Interview was tricky. You did well. So did your guest. Great listening … hugely polarising and depending on which side you sit you believe, you’re correct. Your guest talked about dialectical thinking (and being a Libra!) and the ability to hold two opposing beliefs at the same time (this is a well established therapeutic tool) but I wonder if in this case it’s like being a little bit pregnant. I can’t help but wonder if more health professionals took your line, if a lot of grief and morbidity would be short circuited. You stuck to your guns. Well done. Made us all proud x … Your voice. Your bluntness and calling bullshit. Your empathy.”

what do you see in this video? what do you think I see?

 

this is a contest / writing assignment.

  1. watch the short video above from the Humans of New York facebook page.
  2. check out a few of the comments posted in response to this video on Facebook (you don’t have to sign up for FB to read the comments. don’t read too many, just a half dozen or so)
  3. then i want you to imagine what MY reply might be. you can pretend to be me.

your assignment is to write out a 4-5 sentence reply for this video, from my point of view, what might i write as a reply to this.

post your comments below (or send to me in an email)

i have already written my reply. i think this is a cool experiment to not just look at this how YOU might reply, but to imagine how someone else (me) would, too.

even if you’re new to me, and you don’t know what i might do, try it anyway.

and the winner will get an audio bundle worth $150. 

deadline: tomorrow, Wednesday, around noon eastern.

isn’t this fun? i can’t wait 😉

hugs

Audio: Lindsay Lohan

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #226 sent out yesterday to sober podcast members.

When Lindsay Lohan got out of rehab (for the 6th time?), Oprah made a reality series about her. When i watched Lindsay be interviewed, in a special clip to promote the new show, I wanted to leap through the screen and speak FOR her, to answer the questions Oprah was asking in a completely different way …

This podcast is me reading my original blog post about this, with interjections of what I think about it today.

And I nearly make myself cry at the end.

 

below you can listen to a 2 minute clip from the 20 minute audio, all i ask is that you put in a message below in the comments. If you’d like to listen to the whole 20 minute podcast, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

Question:
If you were in Lindsay Lohan’s, how would you have answered Oprah’s question? [I will not moderate posts that are shitty to either Oprah or Lindsay, that’s not the point of this …]

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #226

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

*Links: Extract of the Oprah interview on YouTube. The original blog post.

 

Audio: Bored

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #218 sent to sober podcast members.

K sent me an email, requesting a personalized audio: “I think what I need is something that will help keep me on track at around 3 pm when I’m contemplating the evening ahead and all the time I have to fill in between school pick-ups and dinner and kids’ bedtimes. And then there is 8 pm and I am sitting there twiddling my thumbs, BORED OUT OF MY BRAIN. I can’t always go out and I am yet to find a hobby that I enjoy as much as wine.”

 

below i’ve posted a 1.5 minute clip from the audio, all i ask is that you put in a message below in the comments. If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

Question:
Is drinking a ‘hobby’? Is life without alcohol boring? What do you do with all this new time?

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #218

Sign up for the monthly podcast membership
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Comment from listener SamiM: “Just listened to audio 218 Bored, oh my goodness I loved it. Was contemplating drinking today, you know why bother trying not to drink its too hard, I am hopeless, lost cause, who am I kidding. After listening to this audio I thought no, I am going to push thru & get away from day 1 as you said!”

Audio: Hope

Super special, I want to share with you this full-length episode from my sober podcast series. It’s called “Hope” (SP224) and it’s about 30 minutes long.

It might be one of the most important audios I’ve recorded (maybe ever). Yes, it’s a big deal. I learned something this week and I want to share it with you.

Below i’ve posted the entire 30 minute podcast. usually i just post a clip but today, thanks to some really lovely donations to the Sober Good Works fund (thanks!), i’m posting this audio for everyone to listen to – even if you’re not a paying podcast subscriber.

It will be available for 48 hrs only. So listen now. 

HOMEWORK:

after you listen, post a comment and tell me what phrase from this audio could be  put on a bumper sticker. something that I actually say. I’ll pick one comment and that person will receive a brass Stay Here bracelet (value $33, donated thanks to the Sober Good Works fund).

[ link has been removed ]

Download the HOPE podcast here

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Over the next 48 hrs, I’ll select a blog comment and that person will receive a present funded by the Sober Good Works donations.

omm268.wrong.place

In this audio, I call bullshit on a bunch of excuses. I can’t be sober in this way, my support must look like ‘this’, I can’t practise my skating routine on the path at the park. All not true.

[be sure to scroll down for photos]

  • Get these audios on iTunes (apple podcast) > link

 

Transcript.

OK, I get this kind of thing in my Inbox all the time. This will sound familiar to you:

“Dear Belle, I wish there was an AA meeting close to me that had people that were my age. I wish I could go to an AA meeting where there were hot men. I wish there was an AA meeting where they were 35-41 years old. I wish I could find a place to practice my skating routine, but I can only do it at the rink.”

What do you hear there when I say that? You hear wolfie, right?

“I can’t get it that way. Those people can’t help me. This is the wrong place. This is the wrong time. I can’t start until everything lines up. I can’t do it this way.”

You have a voice in your head that wants you to keep drinking, so it will manufacture reasons why the support is wrong for you. “I can’t have a phone call with a sober coach because of 1300 imaginary reasons. I can’t practice my skating routine unless I’m at the rink.”

You’ve thought that. Perfectionism.

“If I can’t get it to all line up then I don’t want to do it.”

And I want you to know that today when I was at the duck pond, when I was doing my run, I saw a woman practicing her skating routine on the pathway. She wasn’t in the water, she was on the track where I was running around the pond, she was off to one side doing her skating routine.

And I looked at her and I thought: Fuck, that’s genius. You don’t wait for winter. You don’t wait for ice. You can practise it right here. Of course you can. Stop with all of this, ‘It’s not lined up properly’. Stop with all of this, “I need the right room at the right time with the right person’. It’s all bullshit.

Your brain is manufacturing reasons why this won’t work for you.

It’s all not true.

I took a picture of the woman with the skating thing [below] …

And I thought, if that’s not a sober metaphor I don’t know what is. And then this morning, I get an email that says: “I really wish I could find an AA meeting where people were 26-31 or 35-42.”

No.

I call bullshit.

I call bullshit.

And you can stop that shit right now.

 

Audio: Incongruent

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #215 sent to sober podcast members.

I did a personalized audio for a subscriber about fear, defensiveness, rationalizations.

And it’s also about the incongruent idea of drinking — how having alcohol in your life wouldn’t match up with what you say, and who you say you are.

To get you started, you can listen to this clip from the audio, and then you can add your comments below. My blog allows anonymous comments.

If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

Question:
In what way is drinking incongruent with who you say you are?

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #215

Sign up for the monthly podcast membership
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Over the next 24 hrs, I’ll select a blog comment and that person will receive a present funded by the Sober Good Works donations.

Audio: Compliance

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #213 sent to sober podcast members.

There are tools available for us, to help us to be sober, it’s just that we don’t like them, and we don’t want to use them.

I’d have to say that a good indicator of the probability of success that you will be long-term sober, is an openness to try things that are against what your brain thinks is a good idea.

To get you started, you can listen to this clip from the audio, and then you can add your comments below. My blog allows anonymous comments.

If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

HOMEWORK:
If I were to suggest to you that you email me 3-4 times a day, what would wolfie say to you to explain why you CAN’T do it?

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #213

Sign up for the monthly podcast membership
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Over the next 24 hrs, I’ll select a blog comment and that person will receive a present funded by the Sober Good Works donations.