we feed it cake and say “shut the fuck up”

That desire to drink, it’s so boring. it comes and goes without warning, sometimes even without reason. The desire to drink is like a 3-year old having a temper tantrum. You’re going along fine, then the temper tantrum starts.  You look at your 3-year old and you think, “What? Now? In the bakery? You want wine now?” But if we can treat our desire to drink just like a whining 3-year old, we’d say: “yes, I hear you, but the answer is no.” Then the whining gets quieter.  That, and we feed it cake and say “shut the fuck up” 🙂

[I just sent that message to Jenny, in response to a comment about how the desire to drink is ‘here today, gone tomorrow’.]

and let me just say three cheers for Heidi, she is on day 19 today. Amy is 114. K is on day 16 🙂  There are now 23 of us on Team 100. And we’re all sober today.  So far as I know 🙂

Let there be cake.

i am well.  the 2-day irritation has passed.  seems to all be about sleep for me (no shit!).  i had a crappy night’s sleep Monday night (worrying about a big meeting on Tuesday), and then the lack of sleep snowballed as the week went on (thankfully a short week so only felt truly terrible on Wed and Thurs).  Now it’s a 4-day holiday weekend (at least for those of us following very queen-like schedules! all the colonies anyway…). I have been able to maintain running 5 days a week, even went for a run last night at 7:30 pm which, as i said to Anne, is a new thing for me… “now I do laundry after dinner!  now I sometimes work!  last night I went for a run … completely unheard of … sober girls = we get shit done :)”

and yes, it’s only early in the morning, but I’ve been waiting to say happy day 60 to Jenni, Day 19 to MysteryGirl, and Day 10 to KMCC.

There are now 20 of us on Team 100, that’s pretty wild! Welcome to newest joiner, Jen (Mommy’s Journey).

And only 2 people have emailed to ask that their counter begin again at 1.  One person, after she slipped, said she wasn’t going to count days and that she needed a little bit of time… I told her i wasn’t deleting her name from the list … and less than a week later she emailed back to say she’d been sober since the last email… so she’s on the chart again and is on day 5.

OK, so this isn’t a statistical thing, of course, but 20 out of 20 of us are sober. Two people slipped and got right back at it …

And me? I get to read the best emails every single morning.

  • “Sober.”
  • “Sober.”
  • “Sober and happy about it.”
  • “I have a cold and i’m going to bed sober.”
  • “I’m cleaning up vomit thank god i’m sober.”
  • “My crazy family makes me crazy, I will remain sober.”
  • “Your red velvet chocolate cake is nearly as good as the cheesecake.”

OK, that last one is from a catering client.  If she only knew what the rest of my inbox looked like!

CAKE 🙂  let there be cake.  Sober girls need cake. Leave it to me to devolve to cake in each and every post …

well, it’s official

yes, it’s official. i not only need glasses to read my book in bed, but as of this past weekend i also need them to read menus, to fill out hotel registration forms, and nearly to tie my shoes. I’m nearly 46.

this doesn’t bother me much — except that it’s irritating to carry my glasses around all the time — it doesn’t bother me, because aging doesn’t really bother me much. i’m in good health, i look younger than my age, i don’t have to color my hair (no kids! no gray hair!).

I’ve heard 45 called “middle-aged.”

Me, I see life like this: from ages 0 to 20 years old, you’re growing as a body and as a personality, and you’re under the influence of parents and peers.  Stating at age 20, your life really begins.  If you live to 80, that means that you’ve got 60 really productive, adult, fulfilled years in your life.  OK, from age 20 to 40 you’re still figuring out a lot about who you are, and hopefully you stop doing a lot of bad shit, and you get yourself together, and you figure stuff out. More or less. That means from 40ish to age 80 is a huge bonus time, where you know what you want, and you set about having it …

So, at age 45, my life is really about 1/3 finished.  Disregard 0 to 20.  I didn’t really have any choices then.  My life started at 20.  I’ve lived from 20-40; I still have two more thirds to complete:  40-60, and 60-80.  And really, i may well live beyond 80… or i might get squished by a big bug, but i’m not counting on that.  i’m a non-smoking, non-drinking girl in a happy marriage, who runs.

i’m a girl who blogs OUT the bad shit before it takes root in her head.

i’m a girl who does NOT have to learn everything myself, the hard way. I take direction, I learn from mentors … so i can get where i need to go more efficiently. Stop wasting time. Start having fun.

and this is my plan.  even if i need bifocals to help me find my way!

100 days

100 days yesterday. bought myself a new pottery teacup as my reward.  i’m just back from a wonderful 4-day vacation, warm temperatures, lots of lounging, walking, eating good food. and upon arriving home, my 90 day reward (a big electric griddle) had arrived in the mail, so now there may be homemade english muffins in my future.

on my vacation, no cravings to drink. no thoughts whatsoever.  thankfully, it looks like a quiet week work-wise, which would be a blessing since the day before we left for vacation i think i worked 16 hrs … and the first day of vacation required a 3-hr nap to reset : )

get to the point, belle!

All is well now. i have laundry to do (who cares). i have a desk full of paperwork (yippee). and i really need to go to the big store and get big groceries (blech).  all is well. wouldn’t want to be anywhere other than here …