protect that shit

from AnnaD (day 86):

“Heavy drinking is like time travel. Each year of drinking is five years of actual life. It’s why relapses are time-sucking vortices, into which whole decades can be devoured like so many Cool Ranch Doritos. This makes falling off the wagon a much longer trip than the cute aphorism suggests. The wagon is much higher up off the ground than you’d think — if you dismount, you will fall a long, long time before you hit even a high bottom. Claw your way back on. It’s worth it. Because, like quitting smoking, almost everything is easier than the first part of quitting. Once you’ve done it, protect that shit like it’s sacred, because it fucking is.”

 

Senior Sober Workshop: Worth
(and senior just means you’re 200+ days sober)
registration begins Tuesday, July 17th
small group, live calls, homework, treat box in the mail
www.soberlinks.me/worth

how to travel (audio)

How do you stay sober when you're dealing with family, extra people, chaos, lack of sleep, and travel.

The advice I have for sober travelling will apply to you whether you are travelling or not, because you always have to be creating a space where you’re safe to be sober. 

And you know what? You need a lot more alone time than you think, so build it in. More in the full audio that is going out today to podcast subscribers.

Here's a clip where you can listen to a bit of the audio.

extract from Sober Podcast 254. How to Travel (You need more alone time than you think)

You can leave a comment below, anonymous is fine. Tell me the part that seems true for your experience ... To download the entire audio, you can use the link below.

Download SP254. How to Travel

Sign up for the ​podcast membership
(1-2 new full-length audios each ​week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)

dry july (happy soberversary)

today is canada day. first day of july. it’s moving day in Quebec. it’s a day for fireworks and corn on the cob and watermelon (let me know if you’re having all three). you will have strawberries still in canada, in france we’re into peaches now. today is also my soberversary, not because i wanted my day 1 to coincide with canada day (though i like it!), but because of something called Dry July, a cancer fundraiser based in australia. technically you’re supposed to sign up on their site, let your friends and family know so they can sponsor you, and you give up drinking for a month to raise money. i didn’t do that part. to be fair, i didn’t do any of it except the sober part. I didn’t tell friends, i didn’t even tell my husband. I was too terrified, because my previous longest was 9 days, so going for a whole month seemed impossible. sure, i could have raised a few bucks from my facebook friends, and my generous uncle if i had shared what i was doing … but you know what? i couldn’t share. I couldn’t fundraise. i couldn’t deal with any questions, because i was barely holding on — going to work, not getting fired. that’s it. that’s all i could do to begin. any mild joking on my FB page? i wouldn’t have been able to handle it. i did ask for support online but only from other sober people, and before that moment where i reached out for support i had no faith that it’d even work. i just knew i was stuck. It was day 9 of dry july, when i realized i was going to fail if i didn’t try something else. so here’s my message for today. try different. if today is your day 1, and maybe you’d like to do dry july and we can be soberversary twins, then try different. if what you’ve been trying ins’t working, try something else. if you’ve been ‘waiting for a few clear days on my schedule’ you can try something else. if you’ve been ‘waiting until the vacation and the funeral are over’ then try some else. if you’ve been waiting (for anything), then you begin now and add in new supports. new things. try different. oh and p.s., it’s entirely possible to quit drinking, tell no one, say ‘no thanks it was giving me headaches,’ and go on your way without large declarations. sometimes people like announcements — and you should do you. but me, i liked doing it under the radar. I still do. #dryjuly – that means today is day 1 if you’re not already underway. you’re ready. today’s the same as any other day. it’s a day you don’t drink. hugs xo

send me a picture of your summer fruit – whatever you’re eating today. strawberries, peaches, watermelon? if you’re in tasmania, send me a picture of your lovely root vegetables 🙂 I’ll share some of your photos in my long-weekend emails, today and tomorrow.

 


my favourite canadian breakfast, photo taken last year when i was in canada having cheerios and fruit from the market. today i’ll be having french granola and peaches 🙂 well, as soon as i drag my lardy ass out to get some peaches! my husband just left for a walk, i gave him cow eyes, but i don’t think he’s buying any for me…

Solstice to Solstice 2018

From Sober in Richmond (The Solstice Guy): “I started my 100 Day challenge on the Solstice [and am celebrating 3.5 years sober tomorrow] … If there is anyone out there who needs some motivation to start – perhaps they can do the Solstice to Solstice. It really helped me to have the power of the whole darn earth behind me rather than a day or date on a calendar … It’s an incredibly magical thing, the Solstice to Solstice!”

Imagine it’s the longest day of the year (tomorrow in the northern hemisphere). Imagine you’re sober starting tomorrow, June 21st. It can be your Day 1 or maybe it’s your Day 50. Or 400. Doesn’t matter. Can you see yourself sober on December 21st? Winter Solstice. Stand here. Look ahead 180 days. Because if you think the view from day 100 is great, wait until you see 180 days.

  • If you’d like to be sober from Solstice to Solstice, you can put a comment below.
  • Audios to listen to for Solstice to Solstice? Receive one archived podcast every 2 days for 180 days. That’s 90 audios in total, starting with SP001 Accepting Help all the way to SP090 Magical Time. Audios discounted 40%

I like the idea of having the ‘whole darn earth behind me’ – how about you?

Duck Ponderings 010 – Small Goals

What happens when we try to fix everything at once? I talk about how I use this in other parts of life (sober + writing + running very slowly). And about how I’m bad with endings, and so this won’t be the last episode. I probably have one or two more to go…

 

 

 

Music: “Acoustic Blues,” thanks to Jason Shaw, https://bit.ly/2pZvbyu

Donations to support these audios and keep them free 🙂 https://gum.co/DuckPonderingsaudios

Are you looking for longer sober podcasts?

Sign up for the ​podcast membership
 (1-2 new full-length audios each ​week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)

anonymous confession booth: sex

step right up. for one day only, i’m creating an anonymous sober confession booth about SEX. Yes, i’ve got something running through my head and i thought, OK, let’s blog about it. and really, it’s amazingly hard to talk about sex even when we’re quasi-anonymous online. And so then i thought, OK, let’s make it 100% anonymous, me included.

So here’s the deal.

  1. Post a comment below.
  2. For this to work you MUST leave your name and your email and your website address BLANK in the comments form (if you forget, i’ll go in and delete that info manually). all comments are to be anonymous. one of the comments will be from me, you just won’t know which one.
  3. I have no way of personally knowing who posts what.
  4. In your comment, write two or three sentences (max.) about something about sex that you think is ONLY your problem and that probably no one else has the same problem as you do. For example, i’ll make one up: “I can’t initiate sex when sober but i used to be able to when drinking” … OR … “i worry that i’m the only person who has x problem now that i’m sober.”
  5. Then post ONE anonymous ‘reply’ to one of the other comments already posted, and say something comforting, consoling, forgiving, kind. In fact, it would simply help if you said “i have this problem, too.”

i have a feeling that this will unfold in a lovely way. because you’re all lovely people. and we all have sex shit that we can’t talk about.

PS. if your name/email automatically shows up when you start to enter a comment, you can manually delete them OR you can ‘log out’ of your blogging profile.

 

Wednesday Celebration Roundup

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

Happy Day 50 to SoberSeasideSally!

Happy Day 50 to Flamingo Legs!

Happy Day 50 to Sunshine!

Happy Day 50 to Twisty!

Happy Day 50 to Cellocat!

Happy Day 100 to MaryElizabeth!

Happy Day 180 to MindfulMe!

Happy Day 180 to Ishmael!

Happy Day 200 to Sauvignon Sober!

Happy Day 200 to Shel!

Happy Day 200 to mamabird!

Happy Day 200 to Elated, Confident & Proud!

Happy Day 300 to LD4ME!

Happy Day 300 to Mlodius!

Happy Day 300 to Frog!

Happy Day 300 to Bug June!

Happy Day 300 to MiMoMa!

Happy Day 365 to BalanceBeam!

Happy Day 365 to Mia!

Happy Day 400 to Auntimame!

Happy Day 400 to Renne in Rochester!

Happy Day 500 to Loz!

Happy Day 500 to Buttercup244!

Happy Day 500 to Undrunken Dan!

Happy Day 500 to SoberinVa!

Happy Day 500 to Jaylee!

Happy Day 500 to MrsRoberts!

Happy Day 500 to Lizzytish!

Happy Day 600 to FlightPlan!

Happy Day 600 to Inspired!

Happy Day 600 to Calypso!

Happy Day 600 to Allie!

Happy Day 600 to Bunnie!

Happy Day 600 to Liz!

Happy Day 600 to Girl Named Sam!

Happy Day 600 to Meadowmuffins!

Happy Day 600 to Jeans!

Happy Day 700 to JT Weir!

Happy Day 700 to Edi!

Happy Day 700 to Leftcoastgirl!

Happy Day 800 to CaseyM!

Happy Day 800 to Surfrider11!

Happy Day 800 to Runnergirl!

Happy Day 900 to Trueleah!

Happy Day 900 to Phoenix!

Happy Day 1000 to Linley!

Happy Day 1100 to Inky!

Happy Day 1200 to Coffeecuphead!

Happy Day 1200 to Kitkatpaddywack!

Happy Day 1200 to 1035!

Happy Day 1200 to Frankie!

Happy Day 1300 to Elly!

Happy Day 1300 to 19Cathleen!

Happy Day 1300 to Rexytime!

Happy Day 1300 to Cocomac!

Happy Day 1400 to Paulita!

Happy Day 1400 to Artsmommy!

Happy Day 1400 to Ish!

Happy Day 1500 to IrishGirl!

Happy Day 1500 to Janett!

Happy Day 1600 to OneDayAtATime!

Happy Day 1600 to KateF!

Audio: My Situation is Different

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #228 sent to sober podcast members.

This audio is a personalized response to someone who asked me “but what about these circumstances, my life is hard, these things and these things.”

And no matter what day you’re on today, there’s a message in here for you.

I received this from J: after she heard my personalized reply:

“It’s really interesting to me that you said (and of course this is true) that I would have ended up overdrinking whether I married my widower or not … I see that you are of course right – I’d be an overdrinker with an overdrinker’s brain whether I had this particular job or these particular kids as my responsibility or not. So. That’s the truth. Wolfie will tell my very receptive brain that drinking anaesthetic would be a good idea. NO MATTER WHAT”

==

Question: How tempting is it to think that our situation is different? (this is a trick question; wolfie is an anus).

==

hugs, me

below i’ve posted a 3 minute clip from the longer audio, all i ask is that you leave a message in the comments. If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #228

Sign up for the monthly podcast membership
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

 

100 Day Sober Challenge

Are you interested in doing the 100-day sober challenge?

​Here’s the pledge:

    “I will not drink for 100 days.  No matter what.  I can cry, but I will not drink.  I can go to bed or go home early. I might feel distressed … but I will not drink.  Bad things might happen, but I will not drink.  Incredibly shitty things may happen to someone around me, or my neighbour, or my friend’s friend’s grandmother.  But there will be no booze.  Funerals? Weddings? Amputation?  I’m not drinking for 100 days no matter what happens … No matter what.”


OK, now what?

When I was trying to quit, I had many day 1s. It wasn’t until I got more support that I started to do better. 

It's not like we can do this alone in our head.

The drinking voice is just too convincing and it ‘sounds’ like it’s making sense (when really, that voice is bullshit, but it takes some outside cheerleading to figure that out).

And the cool thing about the internet is it’s more anonymous, which can really help, at least to begin.

There are two ways to do the 100-Day Sober Challenge

​1. ​With Support

​​If you'd like a live-human, sober penpal ​and get personalized, direct responses to emails, then you can sign up for the Sober Jumpstart. ​All ​​levels come ​with a ​sober penpal (me!).

You can email me every single day, ask questions, rant, whine, and get cheerleading. I answer every email I receive. And yes, we remain sober penpals for a whole year. ​I'll keep track of your dates, and remind you when it's time to get treats.

If you’re like me, then you’ll will do better with accountability and cheerleading. Me on my own, I couldn’t get more than 9 days in a row. Then once I added in support, things changed. The sober penpal is part of the Jumpstart here.


2. Self-Administered

To do the sober challenge on your own, you can write out the pledge above and make a note of the date of your last drink.

Find ways to add in more tools and supports. The more you reach out, the more sober tools you add, the easier you’ll find it. Read sober blogs (mine and others) every day 🙂 And be sure to sign up to get daily sober motivation emails below.