calm within

from me:
on the flight home from canada, i had my usual truly-agitated moments. to be fair, flying sober is WAY better than it used to be. before i’d be sick with worry before, during and after, EVEN WHEN things were calm (anticipatory anxiety). now when i fly, i’m temporarily jiggled, ONLY to do with something that is specifically currently happening in the present, and then i reset back to zero as soon as it’s over.
but during, i have some routine things i say to myself. one is Stay Here. and then that has over time morphed into Calm Within.

the cool thing about ‘calm within’ is the double meaning. it’s ‘let’s feel calm on the inside, shall we?’ but it’s also about finding some calm within the agitation. so i count to 10 and then i force myself to be calm for a few seconds. then i jitter and wiggle for a count of 10, then i force myself to stop. of course, it can be done. the calmness isn’t my natural state but i can do it.

so while mr.B sat eating his steamed chicken and frozen vegetables, i was counting. and untensing.

the other thing about ‘calm within’ is finding the calm patches and relaxing when they happen. it’s not 24/7 tense. it’s tense, then oh look it’s smooth for a second, so then you can relax. then it starts up and then it stops again. the goal being to find the calm within the event.
this sort of reminds me of the experience of being in the palliative care ward when Mr. Cinnamon Toast was there. It was shitty. obviously. and there were moments of real sunshine, of laughter, of lobster dinner, of poop jokes.

the other mantra i have is about under-promising. but this is long so i’ll save that one for later today maybe? or tomorrow. Depends on how this hurricane thing goes. calm within. within you. within the event itself. find the tiny breaks.

 



some notes from my inbox:

leener (day 382): “I’m not an ‘art person.’ but i have *some* art in my house. Stuff i see that i like. usually colorful things that speak to me. i don’t know squat about skill or technique or meaning or whatever. so my (not very) snooty assessment of Mr. B’s art is this: i like it. i like to look at it. i like the colors. i like that it means something to me. i like that sometimes, the Exit is hard to find. But it’s there, you just have to keep looking. that’s some deep sober shit. but its also just a pretty thing to look at, and that’s cool too.”

~

amazon sister (day 82): “I had a great day yesterday, met with lovely friends, felt positive about so much. I’m back to feeling some uncertainty today and that may be due to how many life ups and downs I’ve had over the last few years, lots of uncertainty and financial insecurity, etc. and I covered the fear with almost nightly drinks. I’m getting better at feeling these things even though I don’t know what to do about them. I do hold a lot in, maybe checking in more and writing about me feelings will help. I put your duck pond photo on my bathroom mirror tonight and I have 2 of the cards in my current journal that is ready for me to write in. I so appreciate the services you offer, it is truly a special and a wonderful gift, creating better sober lives all over the planet. And what a great compliment Mr. B’s art is to the work! I also really appreciate your email updates, reading how you have everyday struggles is helpful in seeing my own. I hope you are rested and settled back in to being home!”

~

emsyface (day 260): “… I was at the centre, and one of the girls was talking about putting things on the walls to encourage. I imagined one of these paintings — a message to say ‘there is a way through somehow — an exit does exist’ Sometimes it’s about holding that belief for someone when they can’t themselves? Can you tell your hubby how much I like his art ?! xx”

~

W (day 123): “So, shitty news, cancer is growing again. I’m tired of fighting it. Wolfie says cancer is going to kill you anyways, why are you sober? I say I don’t know. Wolfie says why would you go on this epic family vacation with your aunts and uncles to Ireland and not drink with them? I say I don’t know. Wolfie says what’s the point of being alcohol-free? Especially when you know that wine will take the edge off the pain? I say I don’t know.
Sitting in my car crying. I just don’t know anymore. about anything, what’s the freaking point?
i guess when I get too busy and don’t appreciate the life I have the Lord, or the universe, or whoever or whatever’s out there slaps me down to make me appreciate what I have.
and when I tell people in my family that my cancer is growing again, I have to f****** comfort them. Because I’m the caretaker, I’m the mama, I’m the matriarch. Who comforts me? Wolfie? Wine? F*** that.
I actually feel a little better having emailed you because generally I can’t say things like that to people. Thank you for listening, or (as the case may be) reading.”

~

[What do you think I replied to W? Add your ideas below, and then tomorrow I’ll pick the comment that seems closest to what I said (in tone, in content) and that person will get a $20 podcast bundle.]


the artist: Mr. Belle
Acrylic & Ink on paper, unframed, mailed flat
30 x 42 cm (11.75″ x 16.75″)
if booze is an elevator that only goes down,
you can step off now. find the exit.
get off and stay off

wolfie is a cockroach

From my inbox, this message from L:

“I woke up feeling MUCH better after emailing you. is there a connection? probably so. and also i had a bit of a revelation.

remember my email where i talked about feeling like wolfie was behind me, and i was scared to turn around to check to see if he was getting smaller, blah blah blah? …

i realized something. i didn’t feel like i was doing the sober thing properly, not because i was stuffing my mouth with cake, but because i wasn’t getting “better.” i wasn’t being cured of my wino-ism. at the end of the 100 day challenge i wanted to keep going because i still didn’t know what i thought about it all. but that was probably code for, “i’m not cured yet, so i need to keep going.”

THERE’S NO FUCKING CURE!!

and its taken me this long to accept that. wolfie wasn’t going away because he’s a fucking cockroach, and those motherfuckers do not die. they would survive a nuclear war, and so would wolfie. fuuuuuuuuck wolfie.

cockroaches are fucking disgusting creatures and i fucking hate them (can you tell)? but i’ve also over time accepted that they are here to stay. and so what do i do? i make sure that an exterminator comes regularly to spray. and as soon as i see one around, if maybe i’ve forgotten to call the bug man, i sure as hell call the bug man then. i don’t let them infiltrate and set up shop. first sign of them and i take action. because i fucking hate cockroaches.

and i hate wolfie too.

now my next bit of work is to really truly accept that wolfie is here to stay. and get to work on keeping him away.”

dry july (happy soberversary)

today is canada day. first day of july. it’s moving day in Quebec. it’s a day for fireworks and corn on the cob and watermelon (let me know if you’re having all three). you will have strawberries still in canada, in france we’re into peaches now. today is also my soberversary, not because i wanted my day 1 to coincide with canada day (though i like it!), but because of something called Dry July, a cancer fundraiser based in australia. technically you’re supposed to sign up on their site, let your friends and family know so they can sponsor you, and you give up drinking for a month to raise money. i didn’t do that part. to be fair, i didn’t do any of it except the sober part. I didn’t tell friends, i didn’t even tell my husband. I was too terrified, because my previous longest was 9 days, so going for a whole month seemed impossible. sure, i could have raised a few bucks from my facebook friends, and my generous uncle if i had shared what i was doing … but you know what? i couldn’t share. I couldn’t fundraise. i couldn’t deal with any questions, because i was barely holding on — going to work, not getting fired. that’s it. that’s all i could do to begin. any mild joking on my FB page? i wouldn’t have been able to handle it. i did ask for support online but only from other sober people, and before that moment where i reached out for support i had no faith that it’d even work. i just knew i was stuck. It was day 9 of dry july, when i realized i was going to fail if i didn’t try something else. so here’s my message for today. try different. if today is your day 1, and maybe you’d like to do dry july and we can be soberversary twins, then try different. if what you’ve been trying ins’t working, try something else. if you’ve been ‘waiting for a few clear days on my schedule’ you can try something else. if you’ve been ‘waiting until the vacation and the funeral are over’ then try some else. if you’ve been waiting (for anything), then you begin now and add in new supports. new things. try different. oh and p.s., it’s entirely possible to quit drinking, tell no one, say ‘no thanks it was giving me headaches,’ and go on your way without large declarations. sometimes people like announcements — and you should do you. but me, i liked doing it under the radar. I still do. #dryjuly – that means today is day 1 if you’re not already underway. you’re ready. today’s the same as any other day. it’s a day you don’t drink. hugs xo

send me a picture of your summer fruit – whatever you’re eating today. strawberries, peaches, watermelon? if you’re in tasmania, send me a picture of your lovely root vegetables 🙂 I’ll share some of your photos in my long-weekend emails, today and tomorrow.

 


my favourite canadian breakfast, photo taken last year when i was in canada having cheerios and fruit from the market. today i’ll be having french granola and peaches 🙂 well, as soon as i drag my lardy ass out to get some peaches! my husband just left for a walk, i gave him cow eyes, but i don’t think he’s buying any for me…

this is for you (re: anthony bourdain)

the truth is
i've been feeling off all week. this thing with anthony bourdain has occupied my thoughts quite a bit. what a fucking tragedy this is.
and i've been waiting, as i often do, to know what i think before i speak.

i know this.

we have a head that lies to us and feeds us misinformation.
we often aren't aware of that, and think that the voice is 'true' or 'real'.
we add alcohol to that and then voice is very loud, dark and insistent.

His gilfriend's friend, Rose McGowan, wrote:
Bourdain reached out for help before his death, “yet he did not take the doctor’s advice.”

this is the part that flattened me, i think.

that for whatever reason, he couldn't hear the thing:

you have a voice in your head that lies to you. it tells you to drink. it tells you it won't get better.

you could remove the alcohol and see what happens to that voice.
and if you can't remove the alcohol easily, or on your own (i couldn't) then reach out for help and open the top of your head and let the advice in, even when it sounds ridiculous to your wolfie voice.
remember that your wolfie voice is lying to you.

any voice you hear that ISN'T saying "take good care of you" is wolfie.

i feel like i could say this every day, forever, and it wouldn't be enough. and it'll be just the right thing at the right time for someone else.

It'll be both. not enough.
and enough.

this is for you.

hugs

Let’s see how this goes

from me: do you quit drinking 'forever' or is it an experiment? what are the advantages of framing it as an experiment? I asked, you answered:

J: "If you can say ‘I choose not to drink’ it’s easier than saying ‘I can’t drink’ which can then start feelings of deprivation and the Wolfie voice. Framing it as an experiment should make it more achievable mentally than forever, your explanation of running as an example made sense, if you said that you were going to run x amount every day for the rest of your life ... what would happen? :)"

Flo (Day 47): "Hi Belle. I think framing it as an experiment an making it a choice. 'I'm choosing to go 100 days sober' is a whole lot less confronting than 'I'm going to give up alcohol forever', which frankly seems kind of unreal. I think if I say i'm giving up forever, i feel a fear in my solar plexus area and sick or maybe that's the hole i think needs filling up with something (alcohol). Saying that i'm choosing to do this for 100 days feels like i'm easing myself into this whole concept of finding out how my life will be sober, and will it be better? Let's just see how this goes and make a decision later. So less confronting."

~
Question: what do you think about quitting drinking as a choice ... you know, a choice that supports you to be your best you (this is a trick question)​.


New Podcast Series (FREE! FREE!)

Need to catch up on episodes 1-3? Click Here

umr004.gratitude > i know that the idea of gratitude is talked about a lot. but what does it mean, in a practical sense. like HOW can you have an attitude of gratitude? i think i stumbled on an idea that works for me when I was doing a catering job this past weekend. 

Show Notes:

Get these messages on iTunes (apple podcast) > link

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Music: “Ibiza Dream,” thanks to Chris Haugen

Donations to support these audios and keep them free.
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link

Feedback from the ​meditation audio series: 

enroute: “​Thank you for that Belle, this meditation worked for me, and I have listened to a lot of teachers, a lot of silence, a lot of endless thoughts in my head, a lot of perspectives on meditation. For me, I know that whatever practice suits you, it lights the path to consciousness which lights the path to sobriety, creativity and more and more...​” ​Subscribe here.

Ready to quit?

from my inbox:

Rambling Rose (penpal #2512): 

"So something has been bothering me for a few weeks on the issue of readiness when it comes to being sober. I've heard on a number of occasions "in the rooms" that you just have to be really ready to quit drinking before you stay with recovery. I have heard it mostly in the context of people relapsing. It almost comes off as an accusation that he/she just didn't want it enough (recovery). Another thing I hear often is, "In your heart of hearts, do you want to quit?" UGH. YES.

There's something very flippant to me about this. I know people, myself included, who have wanted to quit for years - sincerely, in our heart of hearts - and hate being in addiction/excessive drinking limbo. It hurts. It isn't even enjoyable. It's not to "feel better" - for me, it was to feel less bad. But, of course that less-bad feeling starts to turn into a consistent and repetitive horror.

Drinking is the worst kind of hell, and it isn't that I (the true me) wanted to keep drinking, not when it got bad. I just didn't know how to stop it. I think that's why we surrender or reach out, because of course our brains will want booze.

I've brought it up to people (sponsors, sober women, etc.) before, and I usually get the same answers about not wanting it bad enough or not having some God moment where all of my sins, er, sorry, cravings (hah) were magically lifted.

It scares me when people say things like this, because I do want to stay sober, with all of my heart. But there hasn't been some God moment or change in my thinking. Not yet. Isn't that where the work and the supports come in?

Anyway. What made you know that you were totally done for good?

Do you think it is different for everyone?

Thanks. Whew, good to get that out of my head. It was upsetting me today, and kind of freaking me out."


me: I think that the idea of readiness is sort of like the idea of willpower. it’s assuming that the tool is in us. I think that the tools are outside us and that if someone is relapsing, they don’t have enough tools/supports/accountability. Us alone in our heads has us all drinking, me included.

but with the right amount of supports (different for each person) we can do this sober thing.

the challenge is getting people to try different supports when the original ones aren’t (or have stopped) working. we’re so stubborn and wolfie wants to keep us stuck, so that’s the hardest part of this. it’s not that rehab doesn’t work, it’s that no one wants to go. it’s not that antabuse doesn’t work, it’s that it’s hard to convince someone to take it because if they take it they can’t relapse and wolfie hates that. wolfie will argue against most supports.

wolfie wants you alone at home with a bottle. that’s the challenge as far as I can see: helping people to see that wolfie is bullshit and that there’s sunshine OUT HERE.

​~

​You might not agree with my advice to Rambling Rose. How do you feel about being 'ready'? Post a comment below.


Feedback from the new (free) meditation audio series:

Auntie Briggy: “Love this! Meditation is one thing for me that needs to be non-negotiable part of my tool box! You did a great job - meditation is just like sobriety - some days are shit and you don't pay attention for 2 seconds - some days you feel refreshed after but you keep staying with it. It was great to hear you doing something outside your comfort zone and trying a new tool! It teaches us courage to do things like this - try things - and keep trying them and adding things in.” Listen here.

Wednesday Celebration Roundup

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

Happy Day 50 to SoberSeasideSally!

Happy Day 50 to Flamingo Legs!

Happy Day 50 to Sunshine!

Happy Day 50 to Twisty!

Happy Day 50 to Cellocat!

Happy Day 100 to MaryElizabeth!

Happy Day 180 to MindfulMe!

Happy Day 180 to Ishmael!

Happy Day 200 to Sauvignon Sober!

Happy Day 200 to Shel!

Happy Day 200 to mamabird!

Happy Day 200 to Elated, Confident & Proud!

Happy Day 300 to LD4ME!

Happy Day 300 to Mlodius!

Happy Day 300 to Frog!

Happy Day 300 to Bug June!

Happy Day 300 to MiMoMa!

Happy Day 365 to BalanceBeam!

Happy Day 365 to Mia!

Happy Day 400 to Auntimame!

Happy Day 400 to Renne in Rochester!

Happy Day 500 to Loz!

Happy Day 500 to Buttercup244!

Happy Day 500 to Undrunken Dan!

Happy Day 500 to SoberinVa!

Happy Day 500 to Jaylee!

Happy Day 500 to MrsRoberts!

Happy Day 500 to Lizzytish!

Happy Day 600 to FlightPlan!

Happy Day 600 to Inspired!

Happy Day 600 to Calypso!

Happy Day 600 to Allie!

Happy Day 600 to Bunnie!

Happy Day 600 to Liz!

Happy Day 600 to Girl Named Sam!

Happy Day 600 to Meadowmuffins!

Happy Day 600 to Jeans!

Happy Day 700 to JT Weir!

Happy Day 700 to Edi!

Happy Day 700 to Leftcoastgirl!

Happy Day 800 to CaseyM!

Happy Day 800 to Surfrider11!

Happy Day 800 to Runnergirl!

Happy Day 900 to Trueleah!

Happy Day 900 to Phoenix!

Happy Day 1000 to Linley!

Happy Day 1100 to Inky!

Happy Day 1200 to Coffeecuphead!

Happy Day 1200 to Kitkatpaddywack!

Happy Day 1200 to 1035!

Happy Day 1200 to Frankie!

Happy Day 1300 to Elly!

Happy Day 1300 to 19Cathleen!

Happy Day 1300 to Rexytime!

Happy Day 1300 to Cocomac!

Happy Day 1400 to Paulita!

Happy Day 1400 to Artsmommy!

Happy Day 1400 to Ish!

Happy Day 1500 to IrishGirl!

Happy Day 1500 to Janett!

Happy Day 1600 to OneDayAtATime!

Happy Day 1600 to KateF!

Tuesday Celebration Roundup

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

Happy Day 50 to SunshineStace!

Happy Day 50 to StayingAlive!

Happy Day 50 to Hat trick!

Happy Day 50 to Keyles!

Happy Day 50 to C-J!

Happy Day 50 to Gippy!

Happy Day 50 to Jacci2!

Happy Day 50 to Sober in St. Pete!

Happy Day 50 to Kathyb!

Happy Day 50 to Sparky!

Happy Day 100 to SandraS!

Happy Day 100 to Lovinrunnin!

Happy Day 100 to Dani!

Happy Day 100 to i.t.!

Happy Day 100 to Da!

Happy Day 100 to SerenityNow!

Happy Day 100 to Ana Maria!

Happy Day 100 to Sargent!

Happy Day 100 to Junie B!

Happy Day 100 to Prissy!

Happy Day 100 to Terry Kate!

Happy Day 100 to Lhaschnoodle!

Happy Day 100 to Pat!

Happy Day 100 to KB!

Happy Day 100 to Wildflower!

Happy Day 100 to Emsyface!

Happy Day 100 to Jenwithoutwine!

Happy Day 100 to hernoodlyness!

Happy Day 100 to Trishy!

Happy Day 100 to Freedom!

Happy Day 100 to LittleRed!

Happy Day 180 to Ishael!

Happy Day 180 to Lex!

Happy Day 180 to Kay!

Happy Day 180 to ShelD!

Happy Day 180 to Mamabird!

Happy Day 180 to ECP!

Happy Day 200 to Sobersusie!

Happy Day 200 to Katrinka!

Happy Day 200 to Hidcote!

Happy Day 200 to Liquidtracy!

Happy Day 200 to Trigirl!

Happy Day 200 to Rehc!

Happy Day 200 to Sadie2015!

Happy Day 200 to vstuart!

Happy Day 200 to RainyPNW!

Happy Day 300 to Lars!

Happy Day 300 to Flyaway!

Happy Day 300 to Dry Ace!

Happy Day 365 to Sobriety Unlocked!

Happy Day 365 to Auntiemame!

Happy Day 365 to Renne in Rochester!

Happy Day 400 to Karebear!

Happy Day 400 to RRH!

Happy Day 400 to Goldie!

Happy Day 400 to Newg!

Happy Day 400 to Leigh Ann!

Happy Day 500 to Peaceable J!

Happy Day 500 to Mindful Monica!

Happy Day 500 to SarahJune31!

Happy Day 500 to Lime Tree!

Happy Day 500 to Wynn!

Happy Day 500 to Sophiestar!

Happy Day 500 to Jazzie!

Happy Day 500 to Missmeliss!

Happy Day 500 to Gem64!

Happy Day 500 to Bruna!

Happy Day 500 to Princess Buttercup!

Happy Day 500 to Nowinemom!

Happy Day 500 to SueW!

Happy Day 500 to RoadtoSoberVille!

Happy Day 500 to Lacie!

Happy Day 600 to Sallyd!

Happy Day 600 to AmandaJ!

Happy Day 600 to Jena14!

Happy Day 600 to Gene!

Happy Day 600 to Lola4126!

Happy Day 600 to TJS!

Happy Day 600 to RubyHarper!

Happy Day 600 to Poppy!

Happy Day 600 to Topo Chico!

Happy Day 600 to Ruby!

Happy Day 600 to Holly!

Happy Day 600 to Reg!

Happy Day 600 to Bemmy girl!

Happy Day 600 to BattleMatt!

Happy Day 600 to *Maverick!

Happy Day 700 to Dry ginger!

Happy Day 700 to Miss Kell!

Happy Day 700 to Reenie!

Happy Day 700 to Imara!

Happy Day 800 to Auds!

Happy Day 800 to KaffyB!

Happy Day 800 to Debbie!

Happy Day 800 to KLC!

Happy Day 800 to Country Pat!

Happy Day 800 to Lanza!

Happy Day 900 to ChellyBelly!

Happy Day 900 to KAB!

Happy Day 900 to Hughie!

Happy Day 900 to JP!

Happy Day 900 to Thirsty Iris!

Happy Day 1000 to Linley!

Happy Day 1000 to Cal!

Happy Day 1000 to Gordon!

Happy Day 1100 to Graceful!

Happy Day 1100 to Grateful Girl!

Happy Day 1100 to Jenuhful!

Happy Day 1100 to Cheaton!

Happy Day 1100 to Tk!

Happy Day 1200 to LJ63!

Happy Day 1200 to Sean!

Happy Day 1200 to Indian Lake!

Happy Day 1200 to MelP!

Happy Day 1200 to Sober in Richmond!

Happy Day 1200 to Summer Walking!

Happy Day 1200 to Turcotte!

Happy Day 1300 to Cocomac!

Happy Day 1300 to NewChris!

Happy Day 1300 to Jas!

Happy Day 1300 to Canadian Girl!

Happy Day 1300 to GG!

Happy Day 1300 to Festie!

Happy Day 1300 to Graceb!

Happy Day 1300 to Paris!

Happy Day 1300 to Shout444!

Happy Day 1300 to Midwestveggie!

Happy Day 1300 to Rah!

Happy Day 1300 to RoseMarie!

Happy Day 1400 to Bekki!

Happy Day 1400 to Meagan!

Happy Day 1400 to Lara!

Happy Day 1400 to Sharlotte!

Happy Day 1400 to Mizgabz!

Happy Day 1400 to sanfransober!

Happy Day 1400 to Sarah72!

Happy Day 1400 to CassieB!

Happy Day 1400 to Roisin!

Happy Day 1500 to tlecompte!

Happy Day 1500 to hcasstevens!

Happy Day 1500 to otehrjosh!

Happy Day 1500 to RunnerMom!

Happy Day 1500 to JLynn!

Happy Day 1500 to Julie-Joy’s Dad!

Happy Day 1500 to Jessi!

Happy Day 1500 to Heike!

Happy Day 1500 to Isabel!

Happy Day 1500 to Daybird!

Happy Day 1500 to Connie!

Happy Day 1600 to Wanting to be a Sober Mom!

Happy Day 1600 to Tammi!

Happy Day 1600 to Shell Bell!

Happy Day 1600 to Janet!

Happy Day 1600 to Denise!

Happy Day 1600 to TheFun4!

Happy Day 1600 to Terence!

Happy Day 1600 to Clear Eyed Girl!

Happy Day 1600 to Hazeleyes!

Happy Day 1600 to Tim!

Happy Day 1600 to Primrose!

Happy Day 1600 to Sadie!

Happy Day 1600 to SignGurl!

Happy Day 1700 to DianeLouise!

Happy Day 1700 to LD!

Happy Day 1800 to Original Beth!

Happy Day 1800 to Leah!

Happy Day 2100 to me!

 

Duck Ponderings 007 – The Bracelets

Duck Ponderings 007 – The Bracelets. It started with me wanting a bracelet that I could wear (and that I did wear), and the second one came about because I heard a voice while flying (no shit). And there’s a video I filmed at the end, with the man and his yellow bucket, bailing out the boats.

 

.

.

video here [click to begin!]:

 

 

Links mentioned:

  • Elle Schoenberger podcast episodes 71-74 and 96-99 > link
  • All bracelets — Fuck You Wolfie in both aluminium and silver, the Stay Here bracelet in brass and silver, and the Not Today bracelet with the good capital “O” > link
  • The Stay Here original story which WAS just after my one year soberversary > link
  • Stones fundraising page (with all proceeds going to a homeless shelter that accepts, men, women, gay, straight, transgender, and their dogs  > link

Music: “Acoustic Blues,” thanks to Jason Shaw, https://bit.ly/2pZvbyu

Donations to support these audios and keep them free 🙂 https://gum.co/DuckPonderingsaudios

Monday Celebration Roundup

If we are sober penpals, then we email all the time and I keep track of your dates. Then i can celebrate you online (here) when you hit the big milestones. like these ones:

Happy Day 50 to Ree67!

Happy Day 50 to Simon’s Mom!

Happy Day 50 to MaryElizabeth!

Happy Day 100 to Magitinto!

Happy Day 100 to MimiDonna!

Happy Day 100 to Greenyj1!

Happy Day 180 to Liquidtracy!

Happy Day 180 to Bean7!

Happy Day 200 to Nell !

Happy Day 200 to Stanley!

Happy Day 200 to Leener!

Happy Day 300 to Leila!

Happy Day 300 to maggie Mo!

Happy Day 300 to lmichel!

Happy Day 400 to Alicat!

Happy Day 400 to RossFSU!

Happy Day 500 to KiKi72!

Happy Day 500 to Honey Bear!

Happy Day 500 to Resiliensea!

Happy Day 600 to April!

Happy Day 700 to Conn!

Happy Day 800 to Chell!

Happy Day 800 to Joziegurrl!

Happy Day 900 Gypsygirl!

Happy Day 1000 to Unwinedgal!

Happy Day 1200 to Southern Magnolia!

Happy Day 1300 to Janna!

Happy Day 1300 to Jacqui!

Happy Day 1300 to Kelz!

Happy Day 1400 to Shelby!

Happy Day 1500 to Hank!

Happy Day 1700 to Laurie!