Audio: BBC Radio 5 Live with Emma Barnett (May 3, 2017)

This is Sober Podcast Episode #192 for my longer sober podcast series.

This was my first experience ‘explaining’ sober coaching and quitting drinking to someone in the media who doesn’t know anything about it, is perhaps skeptical, and wonders why we quit. I didn’t realize, of course, that asking provocative and slightly confrontational questions makes for better radio. I think I was expecting something more touchy-lovely 🙂

i have to say thanks (again!) to Bemmy Girl and Sarah for coming on the show with me. brave souls you are. braver than i would have been if the roles were reversed.

Below i’ve posted the entire 17 minute podcast. usually i just post a clip but today, thanks to some really lovely donations to the Sober Good Works fund (thanks!), i’m posting this audio for everyone to listen to – even if you’re not a paying podcast subscriber.

HOMEWORK:

after you listen, post a comment and tell me how you would have addressed Emma’s concern about whether it’s ‘ethical or not’ to be a sober coach for people who could be ‘in denial’ (her words) and who should see ‘a professional’ … so tell me, what would you like Emma to know?
after 48 hrs, I’ll pick one comment and that person will get a present. 

 

 

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Over the next 48 hrs, I’ll select a blog comment and that person will receive a present funded by the Sober Good Works donations.

Audio: BBC Radio London with Eddie Nestor (May 3, 2017)

turns out i was on the radio twice yesterday (yeah, that never happens). for the second one, my cell phone rings, and it’s: “can you talk for 5 minutes about being a sober coach, and can you get a penpal from London to come on too?” turns out the answer was YES.

what you will hear in this audio is a recording from BEHIND THE SCENES. You hear the show going on, you hear the producer saying “Belle, we’ll have you on in just a second” and you can hear what it sounded like from my side of the microphone (I was on skype in Paris while they’re recording in London). Then at the end, when they’re ‘done’ with me, you can hear penpal Tom continue onward.

Total length is about 7 minutes from start to finish, though my voice doesn’t begin until 2 minutes in, so be patient 🙂

(this audio was also sent out for free as an MP3 file to podcast subscribers and to daily one-minute message subscribers)

 

 

3 May 2017 – BBC Radio London – presenter Eddie Nestor

 

do i have to count days?

Here’s an extract from the  book

do i have to count days

from Clementine: “Why do you think it’s important to have continuous sober time? Why is it more valuable to have 60 days in a row, than to have 29 days, a week off drinking, and then 29 more days (like me)?”

~

me:
I think day counting is important because each day represents a day when you said NO. You are building a wall between the ‘you’ back there, and the ‘new you’ over here, and so every sober day is a new brick in that wall. 

There are many forums and online communities that have pledges like “let’s plan to do 15 out of 30 days sober this month,” but they are not continuous days.

This doesn’t help us; we don’t get anywhere. On the days we’re not drinking, we are waiting to drink again. It’s like holding your breath and going underwater for a day. 

To me, the reason for a longer goal (100 days) is that you have to actually go forward and learn something. Once you remove the booze, you practise new things like self-soothing, treats, and learning to change the channel in your head. 

If you don’t pay attention to your sober momentum, then any day can be a drinking day or a sober day. By counting, you’re saying to Wolfie: “I’m not doing this. I’m getting the hell out of here. As far as I can, far away from you. One sober day at a time.”

 

Photos: Book Cover

Photo Assignment: Book Cover

The goal for this assignment was to take a photo of the cover of the book, in any creative way you like.

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures. I’ll be doing another book cover challenge in May/June so you can start emailing your new photos now!

Three random winners of art/magnet/chocolate. They are #6 The Evangelist, #8 SDBKatz, and #17 Mountain Girl.  If you’re a winner, you can send me your mailing addresses so that I can send you your treats.

 

Monday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to JenJen!

Happy Day 50 to wafflehousemomma!

Happy Day 50 to Bug June!

Happy Day 50 to Cowboy!

Happy Day 50 to Goldie!

Happy Day 100 to NatureNancy!

Happy Day 100 to RedRedWine!

Happy Day 100 to Ninabear!

Happy Day 100 to Aimee!

Happy Day 100 to Kaycee!

Happy Day 100 to Lotus Lady!

Happy Day 100 to SandraS!

Happy Day 100 to La Sobria!

Happy Day 100 to Namaste25!

Happy Day 180 to KiKi71!

Happy Day 180 to Honey Bear!

Happy Day 180 to Maggie Mae!

Happy Day 180 to Resiliensea!

Happy Day 180 to Stillbridge!

Happy Day 200 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 200 to Capt. Unwined!

Happy Day 200 to Lerawk!

Happy Day 200 to Tiger2017!

Happy Day 200 to Lex!

Happy Day 200 to Honoring Grace!

Happy Day 300 to TT!

Happy Day 300 to Tierrazul!

Happy Day 300 to Nomobsing!

Happy Day 365 to Miss Kell!

Happy Day 365 to Reenie!

Happy Day 365 to Imara!

Happy Day 365 to Indigo50!

Happy Day 500 to Fern!

Happy Day 500 to Coco!

Happy Day 600 to Ami!

Happy Day 700 to Whitbell25!

Happy Day 700 to Beck!

Happy Day 700 to Ginette!

Happy Day 700 to Lilac!

Happy Day 800 to mythreesons!

Happy Day 800 to Honner!

Happy Day 800 to Gingerade!

Happy Day 800 to SophieSomething!

Happy Day 900 to Joannie!

Happy Day 900 to Chace!

Happy Day 1100 to Battersea Park!

Happy Day 1100 to Welles!

Happy Day 1100 to Gra!

Happy Day 1100 to SusieQ!

Happy Day 1100 to IrishDee!

Happy Day 1200 to DeeN!

Happy Day 1200 to FitFatFood!

Happy Day 1200 to Moore!

Happy Day 1200 to Crispy!

Happy Day 1300 to InNeedOfGrace!

Happy Day 1500 to Rebecca!

Happy Day 1500 to Digs!

Happy Day 1600 to Amy!

 

024. Worth It

Sometimes, when you’re trying to quit drinking, the voice in your head can get really loud. So I send out free one minute audio messages of encouragement (and ass-kicking) to anyone who wants them. This is a transcript of One Minute Message #024.


024. Worth It

I’d like to go into your head for just a minute
and re-program something, if you don’t mind.
I’ll just slip in one ear and come back out the other.
And while I’m inside, I want to change one thing.

This is worth doing
because you are worth it.
Being sober is worth doing
because you are worth it.

Any shitty sober day
is better than a new Day 1.
And any improvement that you can make
to the quality of your life
is worth it for you.

You don’t have to do it for your family
you don’t have to do it for your kids
you don’t have to do it for anybody

you doing it for you is enough.

I go in one ear and I say:
This is worth doing
because you are worth it —
and then I come out the other ear
and I leave you.



*listen to the free one minute messages (there are 200+), by logging into your gumroad library here. if you haven’t signed up for the free one minute messages before, you can do that here (you only need to sign up once and then you get access to all of the OMMs).


~ shameless commercial link: take some action. podcast subscription. 1-2 longer audios per week. i’ve set it up so that it’s low-risk and safe and easy, and the subscription is controlled by you (which means you can turn it off whenever you like).

Friday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to TimShel

Happy Day 50 to MsM!

Happy Day 50 to Julianne!

Happy Day 50 to AverageJoe!

Happy Day 50 to Toby!

Happy Day 50 to Springer!

Happy Day 50 to I.T.!

Happy Day 50 to DMcBee!

Happy Day 50 to Newg!

Happy Day 50 to Brisgal!

Happy Day 50 to BG!

Happy Day 100 to Bridget!

Happy Day 100 to Blou!

Happy Day 100 to KRD!

Happy Day 100 to Jazzhands70!

Happy Day 100 to RetiringPartyGirl!

Happy Day 100 to Stefanie!

Happy Day 100 to Norma!

Happy Day 100 to Kelley!

Happy Day 100 to Ingridandmac!

Happy Day 100 to Peewit!

Happy Day 100 to Steph!

Happy Day 100 to Lavender!

Happy Day 100 to Itssue!

Happy Day 100 to Sheree!

Happy Day 100 to Normajean1215!

Happy Day 100 to Gina!

Happy Day 100 to Helen!

Happy Day 100 to Staying Present!

Happy Day 100 to Johnny!

Happy Day 100 to AnnieO!

Happy Day 100 to Still Breathing!

Happy Day 100 to LunaBlu!

Happy Day 100 to Gomez!

Happy Day 100 to Sings!

Happy Day 100 to Ararebird!

Happy Day 100 to Glitter!

Happy Day 100 to Mummabear!

Happy Day 100 to Jule!

Happy Day 180 to True.d.true!

Happy Day 180 to Elyn Jones!

Happy Day 180 to Becca1978!

Happy Day 180 to LD4ME!

Happy Day 180 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 180 to Capt. Unwined!

Happy Day 180 to Honoring Grace!

Happy Day 200 to A_Sober_Cannibal!

Happy Day 200 to Shannon A!

Happy Day 200 to Sisty!

Happy Day 200 to SohoCat!

Happy Day 200 to Ashley!

Happy Day 200 to Georgie Girl!

Happy Day 200 to Grace514!

Happy Day 200 to Indy!

Happy Day 200 to Pwhims!

Happy Day 200 to Rahcele!

Happy Day 300 to Sabrina!

Happy Day 300 to Bladerboy!

Happy Day 300 to Steffispud!

Happy Day 300 to Raspberrikiss!

Happy Day 365 to Conn!

Happy Day 400 to Patten!

Happy Day 400 to KT Web!

Happy Day 500 to ShellMN!

Happy Day 500 to SarahBee!

Happy Day 500 to NSRunner!

Happy Day 500 to Mamafergs!

Happy Day 500 to Case Study Michelle!

Happy Day 600 to Sooz!

Happy Day 600 to EMJ001!

Happy Day 600 to Lavendarzone!

Happy Day 600 to TickleMeShelmo!

Happy Day 700 to ElizabethDC!

Happy Day 700 to Silver Birch!

Happy Day 700 to Mil!

Happy Day 700 to Seekingpeace!

Happy Day 700 to Yoda!

Happy Day 700 to VTgirl!

Happy Day 700 to MJP!

Happy Day 700 to Jobo!

Happy Day 800 to Rache B!

Happy Day 800 to Yogayamagirl!

Happy Day 800 to Jock!

Happy Day 800 to Sea Turtle!

Happy Day 900 to Marbear!

Happy Day 900 to Junebug!

Happy Day 900 to Frenchie!

Happy Day 1000 to Fleur!

Happy Day 1000 to Chatsworth!

Happy Day 1000 to Cricket!

Happy Day 1000 to Shar!

Happy Day 1100 to GW!

Happy Day 1100 to JustHadToHaveIt!

Happy Day 1100 to Apprentice Annie!

Happy Day 1100 to ParisienneKnitter!

Happy Day 1100 to Run Dontwine!

Happy Day 1200 to Jacques!

Happy Day 1200 to Rose!

Happy Day 1200 to Santa Cruz!

Happy Day 1200 to Phoebe!

Happy Day 1200 to Doll Face!

Happy Day 1200 to Telling The Words!

Happy Day 1200 to Sherri!

Happy Day 1200 to Lurking with Intent!

Happy Day 1200 to Libby!

Happy Day 1200 to Traci!

Happy Day 1200 to Winkle!

Happy Day 1300 to Jeroen!

Happy Day 1300 to Lucy!

Happy Day 1300 to TipTree!

Happy Day 1400 to Kristi Coulter!

Happy Day 1400 to C How!

Happy Day 1400 to Sarita!

Happy Day 1400 to Ingrid!

Happy Day 1400 to Trish!

Happy Day 1500 to Carrie!

 

Audio: “I’ll Take the Stairs”

This is Sober Podcast Episode #185 for my weekly sober podcast series.

What do you say to someone, who believes that while the booze elevator may only go down, “if it does reach bottom and the elevator door won’t open, and I’m stuck there – then I’ll take the stairs.” What do you say to that? Are there stairs?

Why does wolfie think that going down further before we quit is a ‘good idea’? I talk about bravado, not using your supports, and the voice that is (always) trying to convince us “to keep on drinking, it’ll be fine,” no matter what.  and really, if it’s hard to quit now, what’ll it be like to quit later?

Below i’ve posted the entire 21 minute podcast. usually i just post a clip but today, thanks to some really lovely donations to the Sober Good Works fund (thanks!), i’m posting this audio for everyone to listen to – even if you’re not a paying podcast subscriber. I’ll leave this link up for 48 hrs, so have a listen now.

HOMEWORK:

after you listen, post a comment and tell me how long did you know you were over-drinking to the point where you knew you were going to need to do something about it, and then how much longer AFTER that point did you keep on drinking, cuz wolfie said “quit later…”
Yeah, me too.
after 48 hrs, I’ll pick one comment and that person will get a present. 

[ link has been removed ]

 

Download the audio podcast episode 185

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Over the next 48 hrs, I’ll select a blog comment and that person will receive a present funded by the Sober Good Works donations.

Audio: Empathy for Addiction

This is Sober Podcast Episode #184 for my weekly sober podcast series.

TrixeeK sent me an audio question … what do you say to friends who want to quit drinking but don’t listen to your advice? How do you deal with frustration when people relapse? What do you do when you’re tempted to say “try harder”?

Recorded with a live audience, this longer podcast (28 mins) talks about empathy, how to be helpful, and the tricky question of boundaries.

Below i’ve posted a 6 minute extract from this longer audio, and this clip starts at the very beginning of the podcast.

You can listen to this extract now 🙂 And leave a comment  … have you had an experience like TrixeeK explains in her audio question? what would you do differently now that you know what being sober is like?

 

Download the audio podcast episode 184

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Over the next 24 hrs, I’ll select a blog comment and that person will receive a Sterling Silver “Stay Here” Bracelet (value $52), funded by the Sober Good Works donations.

Friday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Leigh!

Happy Day 50 to WineFreeMe!

Happy Day 50 to NancyJo!

Happy Day 50 to Sargent!

Happy Day 50 to Alicat!

Happy Day 50 to StayingAlive!

Happy Day 100 to Dazzzor!

Happy Day 100 to Mamabird!

Happy Day 100 to LOL!

Happy Day 100 to Raspberry!

Happy Day 100 to Tewks!

Happy Day 100 to WandaT!

Happy Day 100 to Rambling Rose!

Happy Day 100 to IC Momentum!

Happy Day 100 to Loz!

Happy Day 100 to Buttercup244!

Happy Day 100 to Melanie!

Happy Day 100 to MoutainGirl!

Happy Day 180 to Lerawk!

Happy Day 180 to anjoma8801!

Happy Day 180 to Lex!

Happy Day 180 to Boozy Betty!

Happy Day 180 to A_Sober_Cannibal!

Happy Day 200 to Inspired!

Happy Day 200 to FlightPlan!

Happy Day 200 to Tweet!

Happy Day 200 to Calypso!

Happy Day 300 to HollyKate!

Happy Day 365 to KatieMay!

Happy Day 365 to Clearlee!

Happy Day 400 to SouthernSunshine!

Happy Day 500 to TruLeah!

Happy Day 700 to MJP!

Happy Day 700 to Jobo!

Happy Day 800 to Miss M!

Happy Day 800 to Trixie!

Happy Day 900 to GabbyGirl37!

Happy Day 900 to 19Cathleen!

Happy Day 900 to TheMaddnessStopsNow!

Happy Day 1000 to Kenney!

Happy Day 1100 to IrishGirl!

Happy Day 1200 to Challenges!

Happy Day 1300 to CatGirl!

Happy Day 1300 to Carolyne!

Happy Day 1700 to Katherine!