Photos: Sober Breakfast

Photography Assignment: Sober Breakfast

The goal for this assignment was to take a photo of your sober breakfast.

Thanks to everyone who sent in pictures, this post is now closed to new submissions.

 

 

 This post is now closed to new submissions.

 

 

how would you answer? what do you think I would say?

this is a contest / writing assignment.

  1. read the question below, which is a real one from my inbox.
  2. then imagine you are me, and what MY reply might be. you can pretend to be me.
  3. Winning answer gets an audio bundle worth $150.

your assignment is to write out a 4-5 sentence reply for this email, from my point of view, what might i write as a reply to this.

post your comments below (or send to me in an email)

i have already written my reply. i think this is a cool experiment to not just look at this how YOU might reply, but to imagine how someone else (me) would, too.

even if you’re new to me, and you don’t know what i might do, try it anyway.

and the winner will get an audio bundle worth $150. 

deadline: tomorrow, thursday, around noon eastern.

isn’t this fun? i can’t wait 😉 the last time i did this, the response was fascinating.

hugs

 

HERE’S THE EMAIL:

Leener (day 88): “sometimes I feel like I’m just half-assing the sober thing, like I’m not really invested in it, or like I’m not thinking about alcohol ENOUGH. Instead I’m just head down about it. Keep my head down, ignore wolfie, go about my day, stay sober. Head down. Or, I’m just wafting along in a sea of sober momentum, pulling out the supports when the water gets a bit choppy. [we’re not even at the metaphor part yet.] Okay, here goes.

Imagine that I’m alone in a room with Wolfie. I think of a one-room mountain cabin. Isolated. Part of me (the perfectionist?) feels that to be really kick ass-this-is-gonna-stick sober, I should be in that room with Wolfie, staring him down, watching him wither away while I dehydrate him. I keep my eye on him, I know his every move, and I can see him getting weaker and weaker.

Most of the time, this is what I’m actually doing: I’m in the room with Wolfie, and I make sure to keep my back to him at all times. I can’t look him in the eyes, I’m too scared of him. I’m not going to let him win, but I’m also not going to peek at him. I’m constantly shuffling around the room to make sure my back is to him, so that I can’t see him. But I know he is there. Since I can’t see him I can’t tell if he is withering away. I can’t see him dehydrated and suffering. For all I know he is looming larger than before, right behind my back. But I keep shuffling around, not daring to look at him, hoping that what I’ve been told is actually true… that even though I can’t see it happening, he is actually getting smaller, and suffering behind my back. Maybe one day I will have the courage to turn about and look at him, but that day is not today.

What do you think? Is the latter version of sober still enough? Any sober is better than not sober, I suppose. We have a call scheduled for next Tuesday. Maybe we can talk about this then.”

 

What do you think i said to her?

Audio: Social Worker

THIS IS CRITICAL.

Stop what you’re doing.

I want to share with you this full-length episode from my sober podcast series. It’s called “Social Worker” (SP217) and it’s about 40 minutes long.

I originally thought I’d interview a social worker who works as an addictions specialist. Sounds like a good idea, right? And our talk goes well … until it doesn’t. She says some things that I don’t agree with. And at one point it’s a little bit awkward. You need to listen all the way through, because this does NOT go how you think it will.

So below i’ve posted the entire 40 minute podcast. usually i just post a clip but today, thanks to some really lovely donations to the Sober Good Works fund (thanks!), i’m posting this audio for everyone to listen to – even if you’re not a paying podcast subscriber.

 

[ link has been removed ]

 

HOMEWORK:

after you listen, post a comment and tell me what phrase from this audio is an a-ha moment for you. Something that you’ve maybe heard before, but today you REALLY heard it. Loud and clear.

 

Download the Social Worker podcast here

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)

(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

==

Comments from listeners:

Ariel: “The social worker podcast. Just amazing. I cringed waiting for each response. My heart was full that your disclaimers and apologies were still followed with straight arrows and truths. I had so much appreciation that you were not swayed by respectable titles, licenses, and professional experience. You both were gracious and I felt so much one-ness with the reality of just how many of us need to be on this road together.”

C: “Addiction and rehabilitation counseling is, at times … a commercial business with boxes to check off that says “yup, talked about that.” Wolfie wasn’t on the list for today… It’s sad rally. And here are more gross overgeneralizations: some counselors can become qualified (at least in the states) with little training compared to that of others in the mental health professions. Even if a counselor has other (better) credentials, they may fall back to a lowest common denominator way of thinking when working with addiction.  Also, there is a lot of pressure to get counselors on staff who can sign off on rehab, probation, and court documents rather than spend time with client in a meaningful way …  You doing work with empathy is a foreign concept for a lot of folks. it is much more subtle, less valued, in this capitalism or other instant gratification things in our culture. It is even seen as weakness. You. The Beatles didn’t invent music, but their take on it changed the way music sounds. I enjoy very much your intuition, original prospective, and encourage you on the path; you help dry academics humanize their therapy — you have a burning question about life, a niche, you explore it with a unique lens.”

Dr. C: “Interview was tricky. You did well. So did your guest. Great listening … hugely polarising and depending on which side you sit you believe, you’re correct. Your guest talked about dialectical thinking (and being a Libra!) and the ability to hold two opposing beliefs at the same time (this is a well established therapeutic tool) but I wonder if in this case it’s like being a little bit pregnant. I can’t help but wonder if more health professionals took your line, if a lot of grief and morbidity would be short circuited. You stuck to your guns. Well done. Made us all proud x … Your voice. Your bluntness and calling bullshit. Your empathy.”

Friday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to Elated, Confident & Peaceful!

Happy Day 50 to Cellocat!

Happy Day 50 to Fatgit!

Happy Day 50 to Sobersusie!

Happy Day 50 to SG!

Happy Day 50 to Katrinka!

Happy Day 50 to Hidcote!

Happy Day 50 to Happy Day 50 to MisMay!

Happy Day 50 to Happy Day 50 to Trishy!

Happy Day 50 to J12!

Happy Day 50 to Liquid Tracy!

Happy Day 100 to Sobe the Lion!

Happy Day 100 to MelMel!

Happy Day 100 to Octa!

Happy Day 100 to Wafflehousemomma!

Happy Day 100 to Peppercorn!

Happy Day 100 to Springer!

Happy Day 100 to Debbi Does Sober!

Happy Day 100 to Lordi!

Happy Day 180 to Maggie Mo!

Happy Day 180 to Annikki!

Happy Day 180 to Lmichel!

Happy Day 200 to LinZeeLou!

Happy Day 200 to BalanceBeam!

Happy Day 200 to BirdSetFree!

Happy Day 200 to Mia!

Happy Day 200 to Hallacious!

Happy Day 200 to Sobriety Unlocked!

Happy Day 300 to 35&changing!

Happy Day 300 to Jacci2!

Happy Day 300 to Honeybadger!

Happy Day 300 to Sobersparkles!

Happy Day 300 to MrsWooly!

Happy Day 300 to NatureNancy!

Happy Day 300 to RedRedWine!

Happy Day 300 to Aimee!

Happy Day 300 to Kaycee!

Happy Day 300 to Blou!

Happy Day 365 to Lime Tree!

Happy Day 365 to Wynn!

Happy Day 365 to Sophiestar!

Happy Day 365 to Jazzie!

Happy Day 365 to Mismeliss!

Happy Day 365 to Gem64!

Happy Day 365 to Bruna!

Happy Day 365 to Princess Buttercup!

Happy Day 365 to Nowinemom!

Happy Day 365 to SueW!

Happy Day 365 to Roadtosoberville!

Happy Day 400 to Stillbridge!

Happy Day 400 to True.d.true!

Happy Day 400 to Becca1978!

Happy Day 400 to Blondie!

Happy Day 400 to Jamie-Tampa!

Happy Day 400 to Capt. Unwined!

Happy Day 400 to Tiger2017!

Happy Day 500 to Froggy Google!

Happy Day 500 to unduped!

Happy Day 500 to Frupa63!

Happy Day 500 to Tsilver!

Happy Day 500 to vmd free!

Happy Day 500 to Lippy!

Happy Day 500 to Tierrazul!

Happy Day 500 to Nomobsing!

Happy Day 600 to KatieMay!

Happy Day 600 to Clearlee!

Happy Day 600 to Patten!

Happy Day 700 to TJ!

Happy Day 700 to Binkles!

Happy Day 700 to Elis!

Happy Day 700 to Lydster!

Happy Day 700 to TrixieK!

Happy Day 700 to Fern!

Happy Day 700 to Coco!

Happy Day 800 to Tree!

Happy Day 800 to Lucia!

Happy Day 800 to Juliejean123!

Happy Day 800 to Ami!

Happy Day 900 to Meraki!

Happy Day 900 to Heya Monster!

Happy Day 900 to Shorttermnoterm!

Happy Day 900 to AnnieB!

Happy Day 900 to Whitbell25!

Happy Day 900 to Ginette!

Happy Day 900 to Lilac!

Happy Day 1000 to Oz!

Happy Day 1000 to Julie-Joy’s Sister!

Happy Day 1000 to Faye858!

Happy Day 1000 to Me-fixing-me!

Happy Day 1000 to mythreesons!

Happy Day 1000 to gingerade!

Happy Day 1000 to Honner!

Happy Day 1100 to Maureen!

Happy Day 1100 to Library Girl!

Happy Day 1100 to Joannie!

Happy Day 1100 to Chace!

Happy Day 1200 to Petunia!

Happy Day 1200 to Dancing Rabbit!

Happy Day 1200 to Microlady!

Happy Day 1200 to AlexP!

Happy Day 1200 to Chefstarr!

Happy Day 1200 to Monique!

Happy Day 1200 to iphonebonnie!

Happy Day 1200 to Chachi!

Happy Day 1200 to nomorepinot!

Happy Day 1300 to 1111!

Happy Day 1300 to Manda!

Happy Day 1300 to Sober Lemon!

Happy Day 1300 to PP!

Happy Day 1300 to Foxie!

Happy Day 1300 to Battersea Park!

Happy Day 1300 to Welles!

Happy Day 1300 to Gra!

Happy Day 1300 to SusieQ!

Happy Day 1300 to IrishDee!

Happy Day 1400 to Going2pieces!

Happy Day 1400 to Apprentice SoberP!

Happy Day 1400 to Blake!

Happy Day 1400 to DeeN!

Happy Day 1400 to Moore!

Happy Day 1400 to FitFatFood!

Happy Day 1400 to Crispy!

Happy Day 1500 to Jilly Bean!

Happy Day 1500 to Kirst!

Happy Day 1500 to Mylene!

Happy Day 1500 to InNeedOfGrace!

Happy Day 1600 to Durf11!

Happy Day 1700 to Sober Journalist Kate!

Happy Day 1700 to JM!

Happy Day 1700 to Rebecca!

Happy Day 1700 to Digs!

Happy Day 1700 to Carrie!

Happy Day 1800 to Amy!

Happy Day 1980 to me !

Happy Day 2000 to thirteenpointone!

what do you see in this video? what do you think I see?

 

this is a contest / writing assignment.

  1. watch the short video above from the Humans of New York facebook page.
  2. check out a few of the comments posted in response to this video on Facebook (you don’t have to sign up for FB to read the comments. don’t read too many, just a half dozen or so)
  3. then i want you to imagine what MY reply might be. you can pretend to be me.

your assignment is to write out a 4-5 sentence reply for this video, from my point of view, what might i write as a reply to this.

post your comments below (or send to me in an email)

i have already written my reply. i think this is a cool experiment to not just look at this how YOU might reply, but to imagine how someone else (me) would, too.

even if you’re new to me, and you don’t know what i might do, try it anyway.

and the winner will get an audio bundle worth $150. 

deadline: tomorrow, Wednesday, around noon eastern.

isn’t this fun? i can’t wait 😉

hugs

Audio: Lindsay Lohan

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #226 sent out yesterday to sober podcast members.

When Lindsay Lohan got out of rehab (for the 6th time?), Oprah made a reality series about her. When i watched Lindsay be interviewed, in a special clip to promote the new show, I wanted to leap through the screen and speak FOR her, to answer the questions Oprah was asking in a completely different way …

This podcast is me reading my original blog post about this, with interjections of what I think about it today.

And I nearly make myself cry at the end.

 

below you can listen to a 2 minute clip from the 20 minute audio, all i ask is that you put in a message below in the comments. If you’d like to listen to the whole 20 minute podcast, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

Question:
If you were in Lindsay Lohan’s, how would you have answered Oprah’s question? [I will not moderate posts that are shitty to either Oprah or Lindsay, that’s not the point of this …]

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #226

Sign up for the monthly podcast subscription
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

*Links: Extract of the Oprah interview on YouTube. The original blog post.

 

Audio: Bored

This is an audio clip from Sober Podcast #218 sent to sober podcast members.

K sent me an email, requesting a personalized audio: “I think what I need is something that will help keep me on track at around 3 pm when I’m contemplating the evening ahead and all the time I have to fill in between school pick-ups and dinner and kids’ bedtimes. And then there is 8 pm and I am sitting there twiddling my thumbs, BORED OUT OF MY BRAIN. I can’t always go out and I am yet to find a hobby that I enjoy as much as wine.”

 

below i’ve posted a 1.5 minute clip from the audio, all i ask is that you put in a message below in the comments. If you’d like to listen to the whole thing, you can use the link to download at the bottom of the post.

 

Question:
Is drinking a ‘hobby’? Is life without alcohol boring? What do you do with all this new time?

 

 

Download the entire podcast episode #218

Sign up for the monthly podcast membership
(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)


(ps, my blog allows for anonymous comments – so you don’t have to fill in a name or an email address to post your comment below).

Comment from listener SamiM: “Just listened to audio 218 Bored, oh my goodness I loved it. Was contemplating drinking today, you know why bother trying not to drink its too hard, I am hopeless, lost cause, who am I kidding. After listening to this audio I thought no, I am going to push thru & get away from day 1 as you said!”

Wednesday Celebration Roundup

Happy Day 50 to GaGalGoingDry!

Happy Day 50 to Krisdee!

Happy Day 50 to Ariel!

Happy Day 50 to Trigirl!

Happy Day 50 to Fridgkit!

Happy Day 50 to Rehc!

Happy Day 50 to Sadie2015!

Happy Day 50 to vstuart!

Happy Day 50 to Strider!

Happy Day 50 to RainyPNW!

Happy Day 50 to NMD!

Happy Day 50 to Nell!

Happy Day 50 to Kathyb!

Happy Day 50 to LizzieB!

Happy Day 100 to Ket!

Happy Day 100 to Celine!

Happy Day 100 to LateTrier!

Happy Day 100 to SoberSass!

Happy Day 100 to LJC!

Happy Day 180 to LinLeeLou!

Happy Day 180 to Kimpossible!

Happy Day 180 to BalanceBeam!

Happy Day 180 to BirdSetFree!

Happy Day 180 to Mia!

Happy Day 180 to Hellacious!

Happy Day 180 to Sobriety Unlocked!

Happy Day 200 to Arya!

Happy Day 200 to SDBkatz!

Happy Day 200 to Auntiemame!

Happy Day 300 to Retiring Party Girl!

Happy Day 300 to Bridget!

Happy Day 300 to Stefanie!

Happy Day 300 to Ingridandmac!

Happy Day 300 to Peewit!

Happy Day 300 to Lavender!

Happy Day 300 to Gina!

Happy Day 300 to Helen!

Happy Day 300 to Gomez!

Happy Day 300 to Mummabear!

Happy Day 300 to Wanda T!

Happy Day 300 to LOL!

Happy Day 300 to GK!

Happy Day 300 to Franci!

Happy Day 300 to Loz!

Happy Day 300 to Buttercup244!

Happy Day 365 to KiKi71!

Happy Day 365 to Honey Bear!

Happy Day 365 to Resiliensea!

Happy Day 365 to Stillbridge!

Happy Day 365 to Tru.d.true!

Happy Day 365 to Becca1978!

Happy Day 400 to Honoring Grae!

Happy Day 400 to Boozy Bett!

Happy Day 400 to A_Sober_Cannibal!

Happy Day 400 to Shannon A!

Happy Day 400 to Sisty!

Happy Day 400 to Sohocat!

Happy Day 400 to Ashley!

Happy Day 400 to Grace514!

Happy Day 400 to Indy!

Happy Day 400 to Pwhims!

Happy Day 400 to Rachel E!

Happy Day 400 to FlightPlan!

Happy Day 400 to Inspired!

Happy Day 500 to Rasberrikiss!

Happy Day 500 to Hollykate!

Happy Day 600 to KT Webb!

Happy Day 700 to ShellMN!

Happy Day 700 to SarahBee!

Happy Day 700 to NSRunner!

Happy Day 700 to Case Study Michelle!

Happy Day 800 to Sooz!

Happy Day 800 to EMJ001!

Happy Day 800 to Lavenderzone!

Happy Day 800 to TickleMeShelmo!

Happy Day 900 to ElizabethDC!

Happy Day 900 to Silver Birch!

Happy Day 900 to Mil!

Happy Day 900 to seekingpeace!

Happy Day 900 to Yoda!

Happy Day 900 to VTgirl!

Happy Day 900 to MJP!

Happy Day 900 to Inky!

Happy Day 900 to Graceful!

Happy Day 1000 to SophieSomething!

Happy Day 1000 to Yogayamagirl!

Happy Day 1000 to Jock!

Happy Day 1000 to Sea Turtle!

Happy Day 1000 to Miss M!

Happy Day 1100 to Junebug!

Happy Day 1100 to Frenchie!

Happy Day 1100 to Gabbygirl37!

Happy Day 1200 to Fleur!

Happy Day 1200 to Chatsworth!

Happy Day 1200 to Cricket!

Happy Day 1200 to Shar!

Happy Day 1200 to Kenney!

Happy Day 1300 to GW!

Happy Day 1300 to JustHadToHaveIt!

Happy Day 1300 to Apprentice Annie!

Happy Day 1300 to Parissienne Knitter!

Happy Day 1300 to Run Dontwine!

Happy Day 1300 to IrishGirl!

Happy Day 1400 to Jacques!

Happy Day 1400 to Rose!

Happy Day 1400 to Santa Cruz!

Happy Day 1400 to Phoebe!

Happy Day 1400 to Doll Face!

Happy Day 1400 to Telling The Words!

Happy Day 1400 to Sherri!

Happy Day 1400 to Lurking with Intent!

Happy Day 1400 to Libby!

Happy Day 1400 to Choutyfruity!

Happy Day 1400 to Winkle!

Happy Day 1400 to Challenges!

Happy Day 1500 to Jeroen!

Happy Day 1500 to Lucy!

Happy Day 1500 to TipTree!

Happy Day 1500 to Cat Girl!

Happy Day 1500 to Carolyne!

Happy Day 1600 to Kristi Coulter!

Happy Day 1600 to C How!

Happy Day 1600 to Sarita!

Happy Day 1600 to Ingrid!

Happy Day 1700 to Carrie!

Happy Day 1900 to Katherine!

 

I loved him for the first hour [Julie-Joy’s Dad Part 3]

from me:

i received a long email from Julie-Joy’s Dad about his new sober life. it’s so fascinating that i want to share it all with you, but it’s long (i said that already) and so i’m going to split it into 3 parts. Part 1 was previously posted here, and Part 2 was posted here.

===

[May 2016]
email from Julie-Joy’s Dad (day 822): “Hi Belle, I wanted some insight with my drinking problem, which I thought really wasn’t that bad. So I sent my “girls” (girls includes my wife) an email and asked them to tell me about the before and after. I was surprised. Actually I was a little shocked! You will like the response from my wife. Enjoy.  This is my original email:  I need your help! I like to read the blogs of “Belle’s” website and I find them encouraging and in some cases sad. I am looking at my own journey and how content and happy I am right now and I would like to add a perspective to the blog (or whatever) from my family. Could you write a paragraph or two about the DAD (& husband) before the 100 day sober challenge, and the DAD after taking the challenge? Thanks and I love you. DAD (and your Mom’s hubby).”

Julie-Joy:

“Well, my dad before the challenge was interesting. Growing up I never remember my parents drinking at all. Either my dad was good at hiding it or I just never noticed … I almost feel like it is my fault my family started drinking at all. In 2006 I went through a divorce at a very young age, and the whole experience was super heart breaking.  But I went back to school and started serving at a restaurant and kind of got introduced to the whole drinking world.  I feel like I opened the alcohol door for my family.  But I know this isn’t entirely true at all, but I felt at that time we all started drinking pretty regularly. I didn’t really notice my dad’s drinking increasing all that much until about 5 years ago, I think. I loved my dad for the first like hour of his drinking. He loved chatting and playing music … he was so fun for about an hour or so.  But then, of course, you start chasing that initial buzz, drink too much.  Then he would get extremely hungry and very impatient. Honestly, he turned into a grumpy, impatient, selfish, asshole. My poor mother took the brunt of having to deal with him like this. Then he would eat, sit in front of the TV, and pass out. Not very fun at all.

One time when I was home visiting my dad had a bottle of alcohol in the freezer, so I knew how much he had of it, but he seemed WAY more drunk than that amount would allow, so I went into the garage and looked in this metal garbage can in the garage, and there were papers on top, but underneath were 6 empty bottles of hard alcohol in there. So that is where his refills were coming from …

Since my dad started the first 100 day challenge, he has never drank again.  And he is so different in that his true self has come out. My dad at the core is motivated, successful, out-going, determined, an athlete, and all these things got masked by his alcohol … Also, his editors in his brain are back on, so even though my dad still deals with anger and what have you, he now has reigns on it.  And thinks before he speaks.  I can see him processing and making different choices and he is able to do that because the alcohol hasn’t switched off his inhibitions.

My dad is now an athlete. He walks at least a marathon a week (26.2 miles) and trust me, he would be running those miles if it weren’t for a hip replacement he had years ago. He is in better shape than I am and I am 30 years younger than him. He has lost so much weight and looks so handsome! He is more self-confident. His business is going WAY better. He is more loving to my mom and kinder to her and appreciates her and shows her this. He helps her and loves on her. He communicates with us girls (his daughters) every day to tell us what day he is on.  He is more gracious, more kind, more content.  He is just plain flat out, happier! I feel like he is just more HIMSELF!  And when my dad is HIMSELF, he is like the sun that shines on everyone. I love him sooooooooo freaking much!!!!! I am so happy he does not drink anymore so that we can have the real him.”

[end part 3 of 3]