this is controversial (self-sabotage) [AUDIO]

​I’m going to come right out and say this: I don't believe in self-sabotageThere I said it. Yikes.

YOU don’t do these shitty things ‘to yourself’. You have a brain that is misfiring.

YOU don’t drink and drive, Wolfie does. Alcohol does that.

And you know what? You being here, listening to this, reading the emails, it means something. It means you are worth it. And you know it.

This is the subject of a brand new podcast (episode 255) that I will be sending out ​today ​podcast subscribers.

​I am going to make this full audio available for 24 hours​ even if you are not a podcast subscriber. You'll want to hear this. Start now, just for a few minutes. ​​​

[ link removed ]

​Sober Podcast 255. ​Self-Sabotage

You can ​leave a comment below, anonymous is fine. Once you listen to the audio, ​you can tell me if you heard anything new ​... To download this ​audio, you can use the link below.

​Download ​SP255. ​Self-Sabotage

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(1-2 new full-length audios each ​week, you can cancel whenever you like ... but you won't. more sober tools = good)


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

13 thoughts to “this is controversial (self-sabotage) [AUDIO]”

  1. This really hit home for me. It was like you were talking directly to me! It gave me a different perspective, and to cut myself some slack. I’ve been feeling like I’ve been resetting a lot because I just didn’t want sobriety bad enough. But you’re right, that’s bullshit. I have a brain that asks for it, the further I get from day one, the quieter that voice will get. I’m really excited for that quiet, Belle.

  2. I am so happy you did this podcast … This is the state I am in. Constantly depressed and having sooo much trouble quitting. I felt comforted hearing you tell me it’s not my fault because I do feel I am weak and maybe I don’t want it enough. But the reality is I do … I want a total transformation in my life, and for my 3 wonderful children. Thanks Belle. You’re amazing.

  3. Wow. This is (to me) one of your most amazing and relatable podcasts. If this is controversy, give me more. Thanks for sharing this.

  4. This gave me an entirely new perspective. Not only for me but it helped me understand why my dad had such a hard time being real with me. It was easier to secumb to that voice than deal with his guilt. Maybe I can learn that I don’t need to constantly feel bad about myself. Maybe I can view this a a wicked awesome self reflection and learning opportunity. A chance to get to know the real me. A person that has a voice that thinks booze is so fun, stress reliever, social ice breaker etc to a person who can actually tell Wolfie to go fuck himself. In fact I’m kinda done feeling bad about me and I’m going to practice what you said. To celebrate I’m going to make shortbread cookies in July. A treat cause why the hell not! Great great words from a wise lady. That’s you Belle:) Hugs.

  5. Belle, just wanted to say THANK YOU. Thank you so much for that podcast and for giving it out for free – it’s so important! Funnily (or sadly) enough, that self sabotage thing is what I told myself for decades; and what even my therapist forces me to believe … now I can see it as a wolfie kind of thing & that makes so much more sense!
    So I just have to kill that voice … in my head that’s telling me I should not even think about allowing me to be happy *rolleyes*. But your stuff is really helping me working on it these days … So again: THANK YOU.
    And I wanted to tell you, I made a three litre pot of your fuck Wolfie lemonade concentrate for the (alcohol free) 40th birthday party I am arranging for my best friend this weekend! Sooooooooo yummieh!!!

  6. Hi Belle – writing this from my hangover. I got drunk again last night. Today is my fourth day one this week and my eighth since may 28. What did I hear that helped?
    – that other people ‘re-set’
    – that I am not self sabotaging
    – that other people hate themselves like I do right now and think they are a fuck up like I do right now and that that’s not true it is the Wolfie voice
    – that just the fact I was listening to your podcast was progress

    I had planned to stay in bed all day to put 24 hours between me and drinking. A suggestion from your podcast was to do something I’d already decided wouldn’t work…

    I could get up and go walk for 20 mins.
    Love love

    1. i hear you. and i know that feeling of multiple day 1s. we quit drinking in the morning and buy booze by 6 pm. you might find too that if you add in some accountability, things change. then it’s not just you alone in your head with wolfie. hugs xo

    2. Don’t ever give up Ruth: took me years to get past lots and lots of day 1s. You can do this but with the support that’s right for you.
      Don’t ever give up giving up. Xx

  7. Hearing you talk about 2800 people that write you over and over allowed me to listen to this. I was just talking with my therapist tonight about self-sabotage. Maybe my best self was before alcohol… I have used alcohol to medicate some painful moments and it has taken on a life of it’s own. It’s scary how many of your sentences make sense here.

    1. i do have this weird vantage point that lots of people don’t have… and so when i see the striking similarities, and the actual WORDS repeating, you gotta know that’s not the real you … And yes, booze has a life of its own. when it’s removed, things change.

  8. It feels like a movement that there are so many of us On the same page! I love it. You are right this is a neat group. Thank you?

  9. I really like this message and yes I don’t think it’s self sabotage. That just adds more blame to the already heavy soul.
    So good to hear; thank you

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