In this audio, I call bullshit on a bunch of excuses. I can’t be sober in this way, my support must look like ‘this’, I can’t practise my skating routine on the path at the park. All not true.

[be sure to scroll down for photos]



October 13, 2018:
after you listen, leave a NEW comment below and tell me what you heard (in your own words).
Is there something in the audio that you haven’t heard before, or today it struck you differently?

I’ll send a podcast bundle worth $50 to the 14th new comment.

Because comments are held in moderation before they appear, you won’t know how many other people have left a new comment. I’ll announce the winner later today 🙂




support painting today, october 18, 2018 – mr.Belle will personalize it for you!

painting #207, here


I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • I’m a day behind but not because I am waiting for things to line up. Just didn’t do the email yesterday. That whole perfectionism thing… still working on it. Thanks Belle.

  • 🙋🏼‍♀️ I can’t on Monday because we always go have a drink at _____ on Monday. I can’t now because we have a party this weekend. Screw it, I still have a bottle of wine in the fridge. I’ll start when it’s gone. I’ve had SO many “day 1” attempts in the last year. Once was 31 days, a few 2 week spans, lots of 1-5 days. Had I not gone back to “try to moderate now” after my 30 days, I’d be over a year right now. And I hate myself for it.

  • Day 3, the photos inspire me to go outside, rather than making me feel guilty about feeling too “sick and tired”to be able too

  • Just as there’s always an excuse to drink, there’s always an excuse NOT to…
    F**k you, Wolfie in my head 😡
    Thank you, Belle, for helping me realize these things ❤️

  • I read your emails everyday,; I’m on Day 993, and I’ve been reading them since early on in my journey. It’s not that I feel like I might relapse every single day — I love being sober and feel great in that even on crappy days — but the emails are a touchstone for me.