Audio: Don’t Drink (episode sp148)

This is Sober Podcast Episode #148 for my longer, weekly sober podcast series. You’re familiar with the one-minute audios. These are longer, meatier.

In this episode, I had to wait for my husband to leave before I recorded it. I figured i was going to cry while doing it, and i didn’t want to alarm him.

Usually i only put up an extract of the podcast and then tell you to go buy the whole thing and/or to sign up for the monthly podcast subscription.

But I think this audio needs to be heard in its entirety. So i’m going to put up the whole thing (7 minutes long) and i’m going to leave it up so that you can hear the whole thing even if you’re not a podcast subscriber. So please listen now. right now.

The full audio for this episode is 7 minutes long.


Download the audio podcast episode 148

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(1-2 new audios per week, you can cancel whenever you like … but you won’t. more sober tools = good)



I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I’m tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

38 thoughts to “Audio: Don’t Drink (episode sp148)”

  1. Powerful stuff, thanks Belle. Something similar happened to me which was the true wake up call for me. Thankfully I was okay. But I did imagine people coming to my funeral that week, and that was very motivating to put an end to the craziness that is drinking for decades. So simple, there’s nothing you have to do, no action required, just don’t drink. Best to all.

  2. thank you. Heavy and necessary. no more fuckin around is exactly right, Fuckin around = shitty shit and we don’t want shitty shit. We want real, clear, happy, healthy life. This kind of shit is not necessary. You really did just save lives with that, the lurker before me is correct. Thanks Belle

  3. Yes Belle. Thank you. It could happen to me if I’m still fucking around and bargaining with sobriety. But I’m not…..Your strong words are necessary.

  4. Thank you. Isn’t it amazing how it is all around us. The silent struggle that so many people deal with but don’t talk about. People who look like you and me.

  5. I fell once. I just missed damaging (losing) my eye on a concrete post. It was at a wedding, so all the fuss around me took away from the happy couple. Two days later was my youngest’s 3rd birthday, celebrated in dark glasses, failing to hide the cut swollen cheek and black eye. One of my darkest moments, though I carried on drinking for another 2.5 years. The experience helps keep me sober now.

  6. Thank you Belle – this surely could be anyone of us while drinking – walking and falling, driving and crashing, falling into a pool and drowning. I’ve seen some awful situations that could have equaled death – I don’t usually ponder that it could have been my death – but indeed it could have been. So grateful to be on Day 528 of 20,000 more to come.

  7. Tears…we can all be and stay sober. Thanks for this and thanks for sharing your vulnerability around this shit.

  8. Wow, Belle, it all came back to me. I once fell down a flight of stairs, severed the artery in my pink, bruised all over and with a black eye. My built in forgetter came back and I am back on day one. No more f–king around. Your words are powerful and beautiful.

  9. Your tears are heartfelt, how rare we hear a cry from the heart…so it’s a gut punch. It’s real and the tragedy of alcohol is real. Thank you Belle for the raw sharing.

  10. Thanks Belle for this. I had so many falls over the years – everyone thought my falling over was funny…I was just ‘clumsy’. Nearly 18 months now without falling over…yipeeeee xxxx

  11. This was my brother. Seizures, falling, crashing into the ground and never getting back up. And it could have well been me, too. Thank you for 670 days sober, Belle. You ARE a life saver.

  12. Boy, does this one hit close to home. I fell one night when I stayed home to drink while my husband and two kids went out to dinner. I claimed that I didn’t want to eat dinner that late. It was really because I wanted to get shit-faced. I did, which culminated in my falling down my front porch steps onto a concrete sidewalk, face first. No hands out to break the fall. I was in drunken disbelief there was blood everywhere. In order to clean it up before everyone got back, I crawled around on the floor having to lay completely down on the floor at times to gather the focus to get back up to clean blood from the sidewalk, and door trim, and clothes. I still have nerve damage in my nose. It was my first drunken fall so I quit for only several days, and started again. This incident is one that I can look back on, and, with concrete (no pun intended) certainty say led to my turning point. I’m 42 days sober today. It could have been much worse, and I am grateful everyday it wasn’t.

  13. Thank you Belle. I liked what you wanted to say to him and thanks for saying this to us…the part that says. You’re not broken…it’s the alcohol….and all of your wisdom after that

  14. This audio made me cry. I fell and I smacked my head and cut myself and burned myself and brused myself and hid myself. I isolated when I drank. I never understood I could have died from alcohol and my liver would have survived.

    Surprisingly now on my second trip to 9 months continously sober I am bruise free. I always thought I was naturally a clutz but it was just the booze

  15. I remember this from June and it still hits me in the gut three months later. So powerful. The booze elevator only goes down. This could have been me if I hadn’t reached out and stepped off the elevator 943 days ago. It could have been me driving while “impaired” (which I did more often than I care to admit) and killing an innocent person. But it won’t be me now. No more fucking around. Booze is not for me.

  16. That’s powerful. It totally hit home for me. As I’ve told you, Belle, I have done some self damage over the years. But the one that sticks, for me personally, is more powerful than my fireplace face plant and more than my concrete step fall. The one that sticks with me was also in public at a mall/ restaurant. Thanksgiving 2013 my baby was 8 months old in her carrier. I picked the road as a kind of moving buzz place– those airplane sized bottles. Loaded up on booze before we took off drank it at home in my closet. Stopped for dinner got out took baby seat…turned around and tripped, fell….hard. Thank God I was able to keep her carrier from turning over. It slid across the concrete me sliding after it. I then slid into the building hard enough that the security light flew of. Omg!! People came running to help. A stranger came up and was really upset because he thought I must be very hurt. I was very embarrassed….my husband was very P.O.’d. Your story/ podcast reminded me of that night….it made me think about my neighbor who fell later the same year going up his driveway steps. He died just like the guy in your podcast on his driveway. Drunk in front of his home. I see the spot every morning when I go out to my car.

    So my point is–this podcast was the most emotional moment in the entire journey for me so far!! Not because I worried about hurting myself, that didn’t factor in. But I would have died if I’d injured one of my kids. I was lucky in that way but I honestly don’t know how. Thank you for this. I listened to it again this morning at work.

  17. Wow… I thought the story was an analogy at first! Could have been any one of us. Seriously, no more fucking around. This isn’t dress rehearsal… this is the life you’ve been given and if you have issues, pain, stress… alcohol isn’t going to make it better, ever… it will only make things worse. The problem will still be there when you come through, except you will have a hangover, anxiety, regrets… shame. Thanks for sharing Belle.

  18. Powerful stuff. Thanks for your transparency and the reminder that we are all, in one way or another, the guy on the street. Not tripping or falling today.

  19. I used to fall going to parties because I had pre-drunk so much at home while getting ready. Somehow I convinced my husband that it was my platform shoes on uneven sidewalks. We all know what it was. Happy to be on day 215.

  20. Even the sound of the backing music calms me down. Because it signals that Belle’s voice is going to start soon and I’ll feel better. I’ll stay here for a few minutes and everything will seem ok after that. And I won’t drink.

  21. I dont want this to be you……VERY powerful statement….ty Belle…..
    I dont want it to be me either.
    Sometimes I hesiate to write everything because of this being a ‘public’ forum……. but my sis feels the same way……. where will it end? powerful poscast thanks for sharing full portion ….temporarily on limited budget….changing soon!! Yepyepyep
    Id love to hear any input you have on dealing w/feelings…… things we would escape ….over and over…in your podcasts,etc. TY for your great work……

    I DONT WANT THIS TO BE YOU… sis said that recently

  22. This was a really timely listen for me! 1/2 hour earlier this evening I almost forgot what a precious, precious thing being sober is. Hard to hang onto that sometimes in a culture that promotes alcohol so aggressively. We never see the heartbreaking truth. I hope the man you passed gets to fight back- I agree with you – it’s a nasty, harmful drug that lays waste too many lives. We need to wake-up.

  23. Thank you for this – it was beautifully said. I saw a similar incident in a park near where I lived and won’t forget. The man was so dazed that he seemed not to know what was going on. His head was split open, there was a small crowd around him, and I happened upon the situation just as the ambulance arrived. It was a sunny day.

  24. Powerful and real, thanks Belle. I went to a funeral last week. My brother-in-law. He fell and hit his head on a concrete patio. In the hospital for five days, recuperating nicely from the supposedly ‘harmless’ cut on his head. On the fifth day, he was non-responsive. He died later that day. Big Irish funeral with lots of tears, lots of stories, and lots of toasting. He died “too young;” he wasn’t “very healthy” recently. We all know what the ultimate cause was. Wolfie got another one. The insidious erosion of quality of life, the normalization of over-drinking, the excuses, the wear and tear on a healthy body over years and years of friendly cocktail hours. I’m out. I’m done. The next day I ran four miles with my husband and two of my daughters. I RAN. I want to keep running and running until all the alcohol is far far behind me. Everyone, run away. Get the fuck away from this stuff. Life is dangerous enough as it is….we don’t need to pour the danger right into our bodies. Embrace yourself and your loved ones. Life is precious and so are each and every one of us. Treat yourself like this is the only life you get. Go walk in the sunshine, dance in the rain, sleep in the quiet.

  25. Thanks Belle, I’m one of your lurkers and have been for a year and a bit. Today is my Day 1. This podcast was powerful enough to make me take that first step. You should be very proud of what you have achieved helping us all get sober.

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