Sunday. another cutting-room-floor extract. i’m writing a sober book and big chunks of the first draft was eventually removed (sometimes because of repetition). i now have 61 pages of ‘extra’ that will not be in final version. here’s some:
All the standing around waiting to feel like it? That’s all wolfie. You won’t like being sober, he says. You’re not going to like feeling better. You’re not going to like who you are when you’re sober. Those sober people are special, whereas you are a fuck up.
That voice in your head that tells you that drinking is a good idea, wolfie can disguise himself sometimes and he sounds like a regular critic. Sometimes he’s saying “Drink now. You should celebrate sobriety by having a drink, you can quit again later.” It’s easier to recognize wolfie when he uses “drink” in the sentence. But then I learned that any voice in my head that is saying something negative, critical, difficult – it’s all wolfie in disguise.
Here’s an example: This isn’t worth it, this is all too hard, you’re going to feel gross forever. Then right at the end, in little tiny small print is:
IF YOU HAD A DRINK THIS WOULD ALL STOP.
The voice in your head that is taking very good care of you? That’s YOU. The voice that says – “skip this event, go to bed, have a treat, change the sheets, take it easy, you’re doing great” – that voice is you.
And ANY voice you hear in your head that isn’t saying “Take Good Care of You” is wolfie.
Who you can freely ignore.