From JenniferKay, who was worried after session #1 that her therapist wasn’t a good fit:
“I had my second therapy session today. She said that we need to examine the reasons why I stopped drinking. She said that it was very black and white thinking. She said that I did not drink in excess. She said that online support people probably were drinking much more than me. She said that stopping drinking was a control issue. Basically, she said that I need to journal about my reasons for not drinking and that I needed to be more confident about not drinking and giving specific reasons not to drink.
On day one, I told her that exactly the truth about how I felt regarding drinking. I said that I didn’t like hangovers; I said that I didn’t like drinking each night; I said that I worried about all the rules that I would make for myself and break. She said that those were good reasons, but I needed to go deeper on the issues of why I just stopped. I started crying and said: I just did.
I’m upset. I am feeling so anxious. I was so excited because she seemed like she was totally going to support me.
I’m not going to drink … but I felt stupid in the therapy session, and I couldn’t think of what to say, and I wanted to leave, and isn’t not drinking a control issue for everyone? I mean if I say I’m not drinking, I’m controlling that Ugggghhh
Also, I was talking to my husband, and again, he said: ‘I’m not going to say anything, but I’m still not really sure where you’re going with this, but I want you to be happy.’ Then, he cracked open a beer.”
me: yeah, maybe that therapist isn’t for you. and that’s fine, there are lots of therapists in the world. you want someone who understands what we’re doing. those of us online are probably drinking more? where does that even come from? that’s not an informed comment, clearly. drinking more than people in AA? I don’t think so 🙂
it’s ok. If you were trying to find a ‘dentist’ and if the dentist makes you cry then you don’t go back to them and you find another dentist who gets it.
what a shitty thing for her to do. really. she’s not validating what you’re saying you want. like really, we all need to be drinking? like no one can decide not to drink and be happy about it?
if you want to talk to ME (ha!) I have one spot open on Friday, let me know.