Saturday Want Ad

Did you just roll out of bed after a hellish night and you feel like a bag of shit?

Are you literally, right now at 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning, searching online for sober help?

Yes, you. Yes I can see you through the computer screen.

WANTED

There’s a small bunch of us. We’re doing 100 days sober. Yes, days in a row.

Benefits include great sleep, return of self-esteem, elimination of hangovers. Lots of support. Save $400 to $1000 a month by not drinking. Limited quantities available.

And this week, the first 9 people who sign up will receive a fast-action bonus: SECRET HOMEWORK to help with the first few days.

[Anath writes: I love the [secret homework], I feel excited and motivated by it. Genius!]

[MG writes: YES – the [secret homework] is pure brilliance.  The whole thing is amazing.  Why didn’t I ever think about that? …  I am quickly gaining resolve and determination as we speak.  I was sad and depressed a few days ago, but I’m not any longer.  I’m proud of myself.”] –yes, this is an actual email 🙂

Double your money back guarantee. Operators are standing by.

PS.

Are you the type to feel rebellious, and say “Why can’t I drink? Other people can drink. I feel so pissed off that I have to give up drinking. I should be ALLOWED…”

Is that you?  (yeah, me too!)

Well, the pouting, the “why can’t I drink,” comes from focusing on not being ABLE to.
But when you flip it on its head, and you turn it into a decision, then you get to say:

“I don’t drink because it’s not good for me.
I don’t do cocaine either.
There’s a whole list of things I don’t ingest
just because other people do.
I do what’s best for me.
I also don’t drive without a seat belt
and I don’t walk in dog shit.
I am taking care of me.”

[Team 100 has 1720 people in it. You can join now — no matter what day of sobriety you’re on.]

What, you want more?

How about this:

Allie (day 38):This is the longest I’ve been sober in awhile … in the last 3 weeks, I managed a 2 week sober vacation, ran a 5K, avoided numerous drunk fights with fiancé, didn’t embarrass myself once, felt proud of myself, had hope and lots more stuff I can’t think of right now … I’m planning a trip for the end of October with all of my savings!

You can sign up for the 100 challenge here.

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I’m tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

4 thoughts to “Saturday Want Ad”

  1. It’s actually 7:48 am and I feel like shit. And I’m looking at sober blog sites. You do see me through the computer screen, don’t you!? I would like some homework because lord knows nothing else is working.

  2. Nope. No. I woke up this morning and went to the gym, met my dad for a cup of tea, met a girlfriend for more tea, met another friend and her new baby and we had hot chips and another tea, washed my car, and made some life decisions. Feelin pretty good Belle. So thank you for the 100 day challenge, for keeping me accountable, for being out there in cyber world and for the cyber hugs you give me every time you email me in response to my short ramblings. I’m somewhere around day 150. In the words of the Lego Movie “Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you’re part of a team”. I’m fairly certain they’re referring to Team 100. Go Belle.

Leave a Reply