as i wrote this morning to a sober penpal…
I’m discovering that I know shit about building furniture without a plan …
we bought a really lovely kitchen counter, whacked 4 legs on it, and presto, it’s NOT a table. Well, not yet anyway. Did you know that square things are more unstable whereas triangular things are more rigid? (They didn’t teach this to English majors).
spent most of the night tossing and turning, thinking “whenever you try to do it yourself you suck. just spend money and buy the real thing…”
I got up this morning, went for a run, did some online research, and now in the light of day I have learned that the table needs to be braced (duh!).
But somehow at 4 a.m., in the middle of darkness, doing research and asking someone for advice didn’t occur to me. Only self-flagellation was an option.
Parallels to sobriety much? Duh.
In early sobriety, we’re like a table with a missing leg. We’re OK if no one touches us. We’re OK so long as we don’t have to socialize. We’re OK so long as no one asks “what can i get you from the bar.”
Then we add supports. And we slowly put stuff under the missing corner and now we’re a four legged table.
is that enough?
well here’s what i learned this morning. 4 legged tables still need to be braced. they need corner supports, or they need diagonal braces, or they need to be bolted to the floor, or they need to be bracketed to the wall (the last choice is what we’re doing). [yes, i will take photos once it’s done. if you are on the list here you’ll get the pictures.]
so yeah, i’m sober. i have 4 legs. i had an idea when i set out to be sober that it would be SOMETHING. and then it turns out to be something DIFFERENT from what I expected. and my initial reaction (still) is to panic and say “this isn’t working. i am a fuck up.”
when thinking of sobriety, and tables, often a visit to Mr. B. is required.
I say to him “tell me this is going to be OK.”
and he says…
“It’s OK already.”