Tired of Thinking About Drinking

is Belle even a real person?

i originally sent this out as a micro-email but it got such a huge response that i’m also cross-posting it here. apologies for repetition.

From Carolina:

“Hi Belle, Day 47 and kind of a rough night last night. I was hanging around in all of my smugness and then comes Wolfie:

‘Fuck your stupid aluminum magic powered bracelet. And is Belle even a real person? You are home alone all weekend and blah blah you said that looking at the booze gave you a stomach ache but it doesn’t, does it? You want it and no one is home and no one will ever know. You can either lie to the pretend person Belle or just never email her again who freaking cares? You have to rest tomorrow anyway for your knee to get better so who cares if you have a hangover? NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.’

UGH. Fuck you Wolfie. I said it in a very small voice but nevertheless I said it and I didn’t drink. So much for self-righteous me, I don’t know what the hell is up with the ups and downs but I suppose it’s maybe some sort of normal? Carolina xo”

me: there is a bit of upping and downing. and then the ups are more often. this kind of wolfie attack isn’t as frequent on day 50 as it is on day 5. and then it’s reduced even further by day 100.

and yes, this Belle chick is a real human who is typing with her real fingers. and she will notice if you disappear. and anyway, wolfie is an anus.

~~
shameless commercial link:
email i got: i don’t want any more of your goddamn bracelets. stop with the shameless commercial links, you think you’re funny but you’re not. give me a break already. to which i say “need a Fuck You Wolfie bracelet? maybe you do.” you can get one here.

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One thought on “is Belle even a real person?

  1. sounds so familiar.. xo

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