Things to worry about. I asked C what her biggest worry was about being long-term sober.
She sent me this: “Hey, it feels strange replying, my biggest worry is a bag of worries, all linked together by a fear of not fitting in. My dad died a month ago so my emotional buffers have been a bit scattered and I feel destabilized. I want to use this time as a jumping board into a place where I feel my emotions, good and bad, but I’m scared I won’t succeed. Thank you for being out there, I’m glad I came across you.”
me: so sorry to hear about your dad – you know there are two other people doing the 100 day sober challenge with very similar situations (that i know of, there are probably lots more). One person just lost her dad, too, about a month ago, and the other recently lost her spouse to illness.
In some ways, the pit of grief opens up a time when we can start to do other work on ourselves. It’s like grief is this terrible ‘wake up’ call and we can begin to sort out our own shit. Starting with being sober.
It’s exactly a jumping board (good phrase!). You’ve gone through something heinous. Being sober has to be easy by comparison!
and i would also add… reach out for help. get support BEFORE you need it. don’t wait till you’ve got the bottle already opened… post or read or call or reach out. Reach out early. Feeling crummy? Reach out. Found out your neighbor died (good god!), email someone. Don’t let wolfie get wound up and running around in there. Don’t let him get any momentum going.
As a general rule, we SUCK at asking for help and we suck at accepting help. Wolfie tells us we don’t deserve it. he’s a liar.