Tired of Thinking About Drinking

blue volvo station wagons

from my inbox:

me: I saw some ducks in the park yesterday and thought of you. i’m just saying …

mallards4us: “mallards are my spirit guides – I used to tell everyone about my good signs coming in the form of Mallards…..every time I needed a good sign, they would show up in the strangest places! Fly into my front yard as I opened the drapes, walk up to my deck of my second story apartment (no water around and I didn’t feed them), at the front of a grocery store – just everywhere. I would tell people “my ducks are back!” when I’d have a sighting. When I was drinking, I stopped paying attention. Stopped paying attention to everything. Thanks for seeing my ducks. Yay! That’s a good sign 🙂 xo”

~

about three years ago i was listening to a training audio for work. the guy said i want to have money in my life, and the instructor said do you want money or do you want the things that money will bring. The things, he says. What kind of things? He says he wants a nicer car. What kind of car, tell me about your car, what does it look like, what does it smell like? He describes his car, maybe it was a BMW or something fancy, leather interior, something that goes vroom-vroom.

She says, every time you see a black BMW on the street, you can take it as a sign that your money is coming. it’s coming for you. You keep working for it, keep facing forward. The car will come.

I listened to this audio (setting aside the whole ‘if you dream it, it will arrive’ skepticism), and i think me too, i’d like to have my 2-3 individual small businesses be able to support me so that I can be relaxed about our finances. And if the trainer asks me what kind of car I’d want, I’d say i want a blue volvo station wagon.

So i started looking for blue volvo station wagons. I live in a part of europe where there aren’t any. lots and lots of german cars, lots of imported Fords, lots of cheap french cars.

This story started 3 years ago, and we went back to North American for vacation in June (this is like 2 weeks before i was sober, which started july 1st). Near the apartment where we were staying, there was a blue volvo station wagon parked on the street. Look, I say to Mr. B., money is coming for me. Mr. B says: maybe money only comes for you if we’re here, living back home.

Fast forward 3 years. I forget about the blue volvos. I am sober.

Then about a month ago I remember the blue volvos.

And now i can’t stop seeing them. here. in this part of the world where they are rare.

blue volvo

this picture was taken on our beach vacation in september.

a few nights ago we were re-watching an episode from season 3 of Breaking Bad, and Gus drives a blue volvo station wagon. I mean, really, they’re everywhere.

i think these moments of magic are all around us all the time. little messages from the universe. And when we’re drinking we are closed off to them. Now that we’re clearer, we can really see what’s around us.

(if you see any blue volvo station wagons, you can send them my way. )

~

Addendum

Thanks from G

Thanks from G

 

Thanks to KJ

Thanks to KJ

 

thanks to Wolk

thanks to Wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

wolk

 

Single Post Navigation

14 thoughts on “blue volvo station wagons

  1. What a great story! Oh, I believe so in these signs/moments of magic! By the way in the village where I live there are lots of Volvo station wagon’s 😉 ….

  2. My last car was a blue Volvo station wagon #justsayin

  3. Crystal Light on said:

    Being sober keeps me living in the present. Not thinking about drinking frees my mind to experience life. Now I will be on the look out for blue Volvo station wagons !

  4. I love these special signs. I have 2 particular times on a digital clock that are good luck . . . and i have a volvo station wagon 🙂

  5. Miss M on said:

    Wow! Love this. I desire a Honda CRV and I see them all over lately, guess I’ve got one coming way! Being sober does make me appreciate all I have and all that’s coming to me. When drinking my thoughts were to scattered to even know what I wanted let alone focus enough to call it into my life.

  6. Jocelynn on said:

    My coincidental signs that I pay attention to are words that I hear and see at the same time. Such as driving and I hear a word on the radio the same time I see it on a billboard. Or at a sidewalk cafe reading and I hear a snippet of conversation from a passerby and the word I hear matches a word I am reading at the same exact moment. They are random nouns mostly, not commonly heard that almost seem to come out of nowhere. Anyway when I notice these coincidences it seems like I a sign to me I am on the right path. I have been doing this for about 20 years yet my observations went away while I was drinking. Now I am present and in the moment noticing life around me and I am on the right path! My friends think this is pretty silly of me yet they let me know when this happens to them and seem excited about it…just sayin!

  7. Sent you a photo of the blue Volvo wagon I used to own!

  8. Beachluvn Annie on said:

    I do believe both of you have “A New Pair of Glasses” … which is a metaphor for the psychic/spiritual change that occurs through sobriety AND recovery. There is even a publication from a recovering alcoholic by that title …. Chuck C … it’s amazing what “comes into view” when we pull back the clouds from our eyes….

  9. We had a blue Volvo wagon and it was wonderful…when it wasn’t in the shop having jaw- droppingly expensive repairs. Just in case that’s any comfort. 🙂

  10. Anonymous on said:

    Saw “Gone Girl” the other night… they had a blue Volvo (might have been a SUV, though); anyway, I thought of you !! LOL

Leave a Reply