sometimes a struggle, but worthwhile

Thus begins my mostly-unplugged August. I wrote about it here. The summary is that on weekdays i’m working just one hour per day for Job #1, doing no big catering jobs (job #3), and i’m turning off the computer by 8 pm. On weekends, no computer from noon to bedtime except for an hour around supper time. Make a point of going somewhere every day. Use new metro pass at least once a day (i.e. go somewhere outside my immediate neighbourhood).

So today is day one, I am already realizing a few things. Sobriety parallels anyone?

  • it’s going to take a few days to get used to this (probably 7-9 days where I think – this isn’t worth it, why bother)
  • some moments it’ll seem like i should just turn on the internet so i can zone out (but i won’t, i want to have a successful month with no slips)
  • i’m going to be bored when i remove the computer. i need to make a list of things to do (when bored: have a bath, read, go to bed, go for a walk, cook something, eat something, clean something, sing something, draw/paint/photograph something). same rules apply for when you’re bored with sobriety…
  • write a lot – get my ideas out of my head. this means writing off-line (horrors) on a yellow lined pad with the right pen. or the wrong pen.
  • run a lot – at least 10-15 minutes a day, 5 days a week. i like myself more when i run 🙂 i’m nicer to myself on the days that i run. nuff said.
  • it will not all ‘get done’ but i’ll be unplugged (sober). that might the only thing i achieve this month, and that’ll still be good enough.
  • note to me that i’ve been waiting to do this for a long time (i did it last year and while it was, at times, a struggle, i really enjoyed it and remember it fondly). Having more undistracted time is an adventure. i don’t know how i’m going to feel every day. but i’ve literally been waiting 11 months for this day to come, and now it’s here, and i’m excited and nervous and … tired. I’m ready for a change for the better. You?

–> i will be online checking emails every day. i just might be a bit slower responding than normal, but i’m reading everything and I am still physically here (i.e. not travelling). you’re not bothering me. should i say it again? keep emailing. you’re not bothering me.

~

Happy Day 50 to SL!

Happy Day 50 to ejen!

Happy Day 100 to Jewels!

Happy Day 180 to Andrea!

Happy Day 200 to Shawn!

Happy Day 200 to Anna-Lisa!

Happy Day 200 to Kzee!

 

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

4 thoughts on “sometimes a struggle, but worthwhile

  1. Hi Belle! I took some time away from phone and computer while on vacation and loved it! Had some pangs of wanting to drink while on vacation … Because that’s what you do when on vacation…or I used to do. Everyone else still drinks. So I went for a bike ride…walked on the beach, watched sunset, played cards, read kindle and ate ice cream…oh and slept a whole lot (Belle ‘s go to plan:))
    It’s good to be home and catching up with your blog!
    Denise

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