how to be sane
i slept till 10:30 am today. and it’s stopped raining.
you’d think i could learn this lesson for real, right? must get enough sleep. must. even i’m bored of writing the same thing here over and over. it’s sort of like when i wanted to quit drinking, i’d write it down in my journal all the time, and then go merrily on my way as if i hadn’t already learned the lesson.
must get enough sleep.
if i’m overtired, then i eat badly, do nothing, feel unproductive (horrors) and don’t get dressed.
there must be some secondary gain in being overtired that i still haven’t unearthed, in all of my years of trying to figure this out. It’s like i learn the lesson, then unlearn it, then learn it again. what a waste of time. i could just get enough sleep (be sober) and then move on to other things that i want to do in my life.
like be sane.
today i slept till 10:30 am, sent my husband off to his new manager. i bought groceries for a catering event tomorrow. I had popcorn for a snack. I had some cake.
sure, the rest of my life is the same. I still have some job #1 work to do, but the angsty part seems to have faded. i do have the ability to wind myself up, and thankfully i also can unwind with a big sleep (i was awake from 5 am to 7:30 am and eventually talked to my husband about my busy brain; he said, i kid you not, “worry about one thing at a time.” hahahaha. then i went back to sleep.)
and it’s not raining, praise baby cheeses.