“I never thought I could do this”

From my inbox:

Ldederer  (day 95):

When I first emailed you – I never thought I could do this.  I had looked at your blog so many times.  I had seen those names in big red letters, and thought to myself, I will never be listed there. 100 Days, 50 days, no freaking way.

Well, here I am, 5 days away from the end of the challenge.

I haven’t had a drink, I go to AA, I am feeling my feelings, no matter how good or bad they are.  I am no longer numbing them with alcohol.

I have had good days, and a whole bunch of bad ones.

I have cried, a lot.

I have felt raw, lost, sad, confused, and happy.

I have regrets, a lot of them, but I don’t regret not drinking, not for one minute.

In the beginning I thought I would drink again after the 100 days, but I can’t be a quitter.  I can’t change what I have felt over the last 95 days, the changes I have made, I want more.

So, even after the challenge is over, I am going to keep on keeping on, One Day at a Time.

Thank you for opening the door to the sober car and suggesting I take a test drive.”

[and now she’s on day 131]

~

Happy Day 50 to SL!

Happy Day 50 to Maggie!

Happy Day 50 to Orchid!

Happy Day 50 to Lifeasirockit!

Happy Day 50 to Cyndy!

Happy Day 50 to Richard!

Happy Day 100 to Tessa!

Happy Day 100 to Zentient!

Happy Day 100 to Kristen!

Happy Day 200 to Anne T!

Happy Day 200 to Lucy!

Happy Day 200 to Tip Tree!

Happy Day 400 to Sunny Sue!

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

6 thoughts on ““I never thought I could do this”

  1. Yay Ldederer!!!!! And yay to everyone else. I think what makes this do-able is knowing you’re not the only one. And also knowing that many many many others have done the exact same thing.

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