today i’m refusing to deal

so. here’s this. Helena (day 14) says: “My thought for today: Ignoring reality doesn’t change it (which sucks). Just kidding. My reality isn’t so bad. I just need to settle into it. Hard to do when I am drunk. Gonna need a new plan.”

i’ve been avoiding a bit of reality myself. sleep is good, but my desk is a disaster. running is good but not as consistent as it should be. am i really so addicted to coffee that if my husband makes the coffee before i leave for my run, then i decide to skip my 20 minute run so i can have coffee right now? really? and it’s 100% decaf coffee. what’s up with that?

going through my inbox, there are some hilarious responses to yesterday’s micro email. y’all make me smile. a lot.

and yes. today i’m refusing to deal. with most of it. i’m enjoying a day off and i’m doing it sans regrets (ha! mostly). i’m ignoring the reality of my desk, my flabby middle, and i’m instead looking at making cake (again! for fun!). really. it’s like i have an illness. it’s called sobriety = lots of things i want to do in my life = let’s make cake.

~

Happy Day 50 to Keep Calm!

Happy Day 50 to Pbwy!

Happy Day 50 to Maggie Mae!

Happy Day 50 to Kim!

Happy Day 50 to Barbie!

Happy Day 50 to Kate!

Happy Day 50 to Poppy!

Happy Day 50 to Weezer T!

Happy Day 100 to Winkle!

Happy Day 100 to SeekingGraceAgain!

Happy Day 100 to LG!

Happy Day 100 to Traci!

Happy Day 100 to Pinky!

Happy Day 100 to TS!

Happy Day 100 to Joy!

Happy Day 100 to MissMeliss!

Happy Day 100 to JackieBee!

Happy Day 100 to SJP!

Happy Day 180 to InNeedOfGrace!

Happy Day 200 to Debbie!

Happy Day 200 to NoWine4Me!

Happy Day 300 to Trish!

Happy Day 300 to Patricia!

Happy Day 365 to Diane!

Happy Day 365 to Sober Journalist!

 

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I’m tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

9 thoughts to “today i’m refusing to deal”

  1. Very much relate to what Helena says. Need a new plan – how can plain reality be even worse than either drunk or with a hangover?? Why does something so logical on the one hand be so damn hard to just do, and do cheerfully? As Helena says, my reality ain’t that bad – got lots to feel good about alongside some genuine challenges. Day 2 of my second attempt in a week. Need a new plan…

  2. Have I told you how much I love u lately??? Wish I was closer I would love a cup of tea, some cake and just sit and talk with you in person! maybe one day! Enjoy your Sunday Miss Belle!

  3. I’m back on day 2. I just had a huge and scarcely wake up call. I went back into our bedroom this morning , and it smelled like alcohalism, exactly how my parents bedroom would smell after my dad drank. He died of alcohalism at age 49. And it wasn’t pretty. I am 52, with 2 teenagers to finish raising, and a wonderful life- when I am sober. So today, I will get my toolbox togather, fill my sober car with gas, and get back on the road to recovery. I am eagerly awaiting my black is the new sober necklace! Mary

    1. Mary the beautiful thing is … YOUR story can be different from your Dad’s. .. One. Day. At. A. Time. Join us. Blessings wished for you.

  4. Hey that’s me!! Still sober. Cannot figure out why I am so tired today?? Big week coming up. Better get some sleep. Been reading FFF’s blog. Meditating. Doing yoga. Can’t shake the nearly constant anxiety. Hmm…

    1. Hello Belle and sober frenz, today I am 6mos sober and hanging =) Truth be told its not being sober that suck, its Life and it ups n down. Cant change the world, but I can stay Sober!!!!! Hip Hip Horray…P.S. if I can do it, just about anyone can, Much Love INEEDOFGRACE~

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