Exactly one year ago today the 100 Day Sober Challenge was born on this site. March 14, 2013. Holy long time batman. Since then I’ve emailed — at least once — 908 people. It’s been pretty amazing to sit on this side of the computer screen. I’ve gotten to know lots of people, i’ve read heart breaking emails. I’ve heard from you, then lost touch, then you pop back up again. I’ve had some people on the challenge since the first days who are now a year sober, and others who have had good success but got tricked by wolfie into trying some alcohol research. Some join the challenge when they’re already well along (100+ days) and others email in advance to say *this future date will be my day 1*.
i try not to think too much about what the future will bring. as i wrote to cat girl today, I don’t have any idea what happens if I suddenly get a lot of press or if things change dramatically in terms of numbers. I’ve sort of been kind of ostrich-y about it (no long-term planning at all).
Did i plan for any of this? No. I’ve been ‘stay here’-ing and just doing today’s work and not worrying about the future. This is a new me compared to how i was before. patience. waiting for the right thing to present itself. trusting that it unfolds nicely, as it should.
Part of the reason why i don’t plan for anything BIG to happen, is because I like my life (my sobriety) so much now that I don’t want to fuck with it 🙂 if i write a book, which does sound cool cuz I’d love to do some cross-country/continent speaking tours, and have events and stuff. but would I like that more than daily correspondence with real sober peeps (de girls and de boys)?
I’m probably guilty of thinking small, or of trying to remain small as a virtue. I’m sure that’s fucked up childhood shit because I’ve had it my whole life. I’ve always felt that quality of life is paramount even if I’m not wealthy. I agree that when I write it like that, it sounds so fucking noble and everyone is bound to agree, but I think a psychiatrist might suggest to me that I’m doing it on purpose to remain small, unjudged, protected. Which again, may not be a bad thing necessarily…
today I’m baking bacon (so that it stays flat), doing some phone answering for Job #1, and managing an auction for my husband’s job. i have a good mix of my 3 jobs. and i wrote two blogs posts, answered some sober emails, and did some mid-month billing. I remitted my payroll deductions. I also slept late, had a bath mid-day. Perhaps fear of success makes me stay small, but I do like mid-day baths with mint tea 🙂
maybe i like this life where I don’t have to rely on anyone else, it’s just me and my empire and my staff of one. there we go. I should send my old psychiatrist from 1991 a cheque.
Here’s to another year of Team 100. And here’s to whatever that may bring.