duct tape and bracelets

in my last podcast (maybe not in the online extract, but definitely in longer version) i mentioned being nervous about booking my summer vacation because of health worries.

yesterday had an appointment with my cardiologist, and he said quite firmly that my current symptoms are ‘normal’ (in the normal range of people with my condition), whereas what happened to me before christmas when i was hospitalized was a very rare event, something he’d see only 2-3 times in his career (he’s 60+). so my symptoms now do not mean that i’m sliding downhill to a bad place.

relief.

and it’s not unlike sobriety. because everything is like everything. that something bad happened in the past (heart stuff / drinking) does NOT mean it will happen again in the future. IF i remain aware, IF i take precautions (heart medication, read sober blogs), IF i remember where i was to ensure that i don’t go there again.

But then the goal, apparently, is to turn and face forward and plan my summer (leave your crappy boozy history behind, and make something new). For me, this means i’ll have a summer cross country road trip 🙂 Le phew. and Le hooray.

Today i’m duct taped like an old hockey bag, with a portable EKG machine stuck to my boobs. it’s itchy, hot, did i say itchy? and completely irritating. even more irritating is that i’m hardly having any symptoms today — just when i wanted to prove to le doctor that i’m going downhill fast, just when i wanted justification that my anxiety was real … yeah, body is not cooperating.

or maybe it is.

~

You’ll be pleased to know that i sold the last treat box so i can stop torturing you. Onwards. Remember the request for a Fuck You Wolfie bracelet that was a tad more polite? May I present the Not Today bracelet. It is sterling silver. And very shiny.

nottoday2
not today 3

IF YOU’D LIKE TO ORDER A BRACELET, I’VE MOVED IT HERE.


le hugs,
le me

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

10 thoughts on “duct tape and bracelets

  1. I’m sure you’ve often wondered where you would be heart wise if you’d not stopped drinking. Thank goodness you had the fortitude to stop and become a healthier you. What would we do without you?

    The bracelet is absolutely gorgeous!

  2. how long do you have to wear that monitor?
    Hoping that it will show signs of what ever you have been experiencing.
    be well
    bizi

  3. I hope it is’nt anything serious! You deserve a Vacation, I hope it is someplace fabulous! Best of luck today and some nice Lavender oil will help with the itchies! Best, Nantucket

  4. I am terribly sorry about the heart condition….with all the running you do I must say I am surprised that you have a heart condition at all. Why is the Not Today bracelet sterling and the F-you Wolfie bracelet aluminum?

    1. each of my bracelets is unique, one is aluminum, one is brass, and one is sterling. each has a different design with different fonts and styling. hugs, me

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