going to bed now. right now.

all is well. had a nap today. that seems to have helped my mood dramatically 🙂 holy am i ever a girl who can tip over, emotionally, if i’m tired. i’m sure that lots of other sober people are similar, but i am REALLY sensitive to not enough sleep. it colours my whole day, my entire outlook on life. the fridge is either full of bullshit (tired) or it’s an adventure waiting to happen (well rested). my house is either a fucking disaster area (tired) or my husband is adorable (well rested). i WISH i could stop writing about this and fix it permanently. i wish there was a detox program for sleep stuff.

well. maybe there is.

i mean, if i keep running across something that i know i have to change, that i seem to be resistant to changing, then …

now that i’m sober, i can pick up this thing instead of tripping over it repeatedly. i can look at this thing called ‘sleep’ and make a plan. like a 100 day plan. well that’s too overwhelming, so a 2 day plan. an experiment

(hey DDG, science chick, can you still call something an ‘experiment’ if you know in advance what the results will be?)

experiment: for 2 days, be in bed earlier than normal. go to bed with things ‘not finished’, with the show ‘not finished’, with the inbox ‘not empty’, with the dishes ‘not done’ … yes, that’s right, go to bed at a set time no matter what. zombie apocalypse? amputation? go to bed on time. i can cry and i can be unhappy about it. i can resist it and think it sucks. But can i just fucking holy good god in heaven go to bed on time? really. i mean really.

i’ve got 8 minutes. i’m going now.

 

 

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

3 thoughts on “going to bed now. right now.

  1. Isn’t it crazy how being tired can make us cranky and maybe just a tad unreasonable? Good luck with the sleep experiment 🙂

  2. Belle. Good luck with the experiment. I read something that said, turn off computer screens and tv a half hour before bed. Also warm your feet and massage them that works I have tried it and I sleep really well.

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