from my inbox
Ta (day 61): “Sober, but having a doubtful day. I never was quite sure “why” I was doing this. Most days it seems so easy, it makes me question myself. Maybe I wasn’t as bad as I thought I was, no one else seems to think I need to quit. I had to sit down again and write a list of whys. It helped, I’m still on track, had a little reward snack.
Why do others question someone’s desire to get sober (for any reason)? My mother-in-law was a total wine pusher all Christmas break, telling me no one likes a sober person (nice, right?!?). My mom just assumes I wanted to lose weight or something. Granted I probably did most of my drinking at home alone or with my husband. But, they have all seen me in compromising drunken stupors. But I guess no one ever connected all the dots, suppose I should be grateful for that!
For now, my kids seem happier around the “new me”, I actually remember the endings to movies I watch, I feel better about myself and the grocery bills have gone way down without all the vodka, wine & beer I used to buy on a weekly basis. OK, I’m just rambling … Thanks for all the support! HUGS!!”
me: Only someone who over-drinks themselves would say “no one likes a sober person” – that’s truly a shitty thing to say. And you have every self-protective right to limit your time with shitty people. And to ignore everything they say.
No one else has to understand what you’re doing or why. I’d just say something like “I realized that once I quit drinking I started sleeping through the night and when I had even one drink I’d be awake at 3 am for hours, so I’ve decided to continue to not-drink for a while longer. It just seems to suit me better.” Or something like that. I talk about this more in my sober jumpstart class, and I’ve written about it on the blog too… cuz, in my mind, it’s really nobody’s business. Instead, you can say that you’re doing a 100 day detox thing, or you’re giving up drinking until you lose 20 pounds, or whatever… hugs from me
ps. the best part of this email is the tiny part you nearly hid: “I feel better about myself.” that’s a good enough WHY be sober right there.