one day away is enough to reset my internal chatter. it’s like i have a metal coat hanger inside me, twisting around, reminding me to do things, waking me up early with lists of things to do. and when i remove myself from my home, my surroundings, i can remove the coat hanger and just ‘be’. it surprisingly doesn’t take much. i mean, really it’s kind of bizarre and amazing that I can get a complete reset in 24 hrs by:
- leaving my space (i work at home so to get a break from work i really need to leave here)
- leaving my computer behind (nuff said!)
- actually physically travelling somewhere (just being on the train with a little suitcase feels like a vacation from minute one)
- loading up the ipod with new podcasts and knowing i’ll have time to listen without interruption
- being without my husband (we both work at home in a very small space and have been off-and-on ready to kill each other for weeks)
- as soon as i get to my hotel room, i take off my watch and cover up the clock. i go for a walk to explore the town for a few hours, and scope out a place for dinner. i go back to the hotel, vegetate with bad foreign-language tv for a couple of hours. then go for dinner. back to hotel for bath.
- reading. no more tv after dinner. no more podcasts. i sleep when i’m tired (since i can’t see the clock). i read cooking magazines in bed, making notes in turquoise pen in my book that say: apple cake with cranberries? ginger coconut mussels? pistachio + cherries?
- i sleep all night, alone in the bed (!) and wake on my own.
- have a big long run (finally finally after about 4-5 months it’s good to be 100% back to normal).
- another bath
- find breakfast of some random pastry with some random cheese with a random weird coffee
- find the sunday farmer’s market (every town has one). buy oranges and mangoes and cake.
- take pictures.
- go back to hotel. pack up. move chair over to window. prop up feet and sit with book and just read until i feel like going home (i have asked for late check out so that i can go when i’m ready).
- take the train back to the city, come home, have simple lunch with husband. eat purchased cake. tell him about the pastry i saw in the window of the special store.
- unpack sweaty running clothes.
- plan to take over the world.
yes, all this achieved in 24 hrs for about $150. return train trip, a few inexpensive meals, and an off-season single-hotel room in a non-touristy town that has roots back to 1575.
this mini-vacation thing is something i only started doing once i was sober. i used to just drink all weekend, unaware of how i was feeling. now i seem better equipped to identify when i need a break AND i’m able to take it. and enjoy it. without regret.
all is well.