Audio: Dehydrate the Wolf

i have an audio podcast subscription thingy, and this is podcast #10.

In podcast, I initially planned to read an archived blog post but (as usual) I end up telling stories instead.

I talk about the wolf (as in fuck you wolfie), where he came from, hibernation, and pillows.

Post a comment below after you’ve listened 🙂

[link removed]

click here to try a podcast subscription (1 month trial) – and of course, when you get bored of me, you can cancel whenever you want

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

  • You cannot believe how timely your message is today. You see, that damn wolf was waiting for me when I got home last night. Hubby was asleep (passed out????), and the bottle of bourbon was there with wolfie beckoning me. So I fell off the wagon, and upon waking up this morn was not only angry with myself, but realized I didn’t like my actions very much. Thus I am very grateful for your message. It made me realize that I am not alone in thinking about a drink (or 2, 3, or even 4 if I don’t pass out first).

    However, I am not giving up and if you will put me back on the accountability list again I would appreciate it. Today I start that 100 day challenge again.

    I often look at my friends that do not drink and see they are enjoying themselves, and realize I too have more fun when not drinking–so why the hell do I let myself down and take those drinks (I ask myself).

    Sorry for my rambling – and thanks for listening.

    Have a wonderful day – I intend to.

    fr

    • That’s the attitude. You can do it, fr. Tell the Wolf to go away while you have a long shower and a cup of hot chocolate, my go-to drink when feeling unsteady. Day One is here and that’s great. We’re here for you.

  • Thanks Belle this was just what I needed to hear! I’m at day 18 today and feeling great, my mind is clear, I am in the moment with my famliy, feeling good about getting up in the morning. But I have just noticed the Wolf making new attempts to derail me. I suppose because his attempts during the witching hour and at restaurants or in the store shopping and seeing the wine have failed. I have told him FUW and kicked him in the head. He is trying a new method, the moderation telling me that since I have done so well this far that I can control my amounts of wine and one glass here and there won’t hurt. Ha I’m not that stupid but now I have to fine tune myself and remember that he comes out of nowhere wearing different clothes and is a tricky sob but I’m bigger and stronger than him and I won’t let him defeat me……. One is never enough and a thousand is too many…
    Stay strong . Niki

  • Dehydrate the Wolf Podcast is very timely for me too! I have quit drinking so many times, I could go about a week before I would tell myself, “See, you are not an Alcoholic, you can control your drinking.”
    And then I would choose MODERATION, just like all the normal people that drink. I would have 1 glass of wine with dinner. Yep, I can drink in moderation; I do not NEED that drink.
    Until….I was always looking for times to be moderate. I could have just one nightcap at bedtime because normal people have a drink in the evening. Of course, happy hour on occasion is fine; lots of normal people do that. Oh yeah, 1 beer at 2pm on Saturday afternoon is a great reward for getting the weekend chores done, and so on and so on and so on…
    I could drink moderately every single day which meant my drinking was back to way out of control.
    I hate that I am an alcoholic, but I love that I am sober today.

  • Good morning! Just what I needed to start my Saturday . Day 21, signed up for 100 day. Realized I wasn’t ready to start drinking in just a little over a week from now, as my original goal was 30days. At first 100 days seemed frightening, but wolfie is too loud still and he must be dehydrated. Thank you belle.

  • Day 11. Still here, had such a rough night, but kept telling Wolfie to FO. Gods grace and your support means I’m still sober today. Thanks for your honesty, your posts and your support! Means the world.

  • Just like other people who have commented, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear tonight!! My husbands friend came over to watch a basketball game tonight, and not knowing about my being sober, brought a bottle of liquor. My husband being the great guy he is, told him “we” aren’t drinking (even thought I know he was just saying that to help me out). But ever since just seeing that bottle, that a-hole wolfie has been screaming at me! I decided to hide out in my bedroom and read your blog- and so glad I did. If wolfie wants to fight tonight fine- but I’m gonna win!! Thank you Belle!

    Jewels

  • Love this! My time and energy is going towards cleaning out my kitchen cupboards today. I am removing a bunch of crap that I don’t use so I can be organized. I am juicing, making smoothies and looking forward to feeling better all the time. Day 55.

  • Vis-a-vis sobriety is better than the alternative; I quote Hunter Thompson(?); life is a bitch and then you die. Also, what us old dudes know in our hearts; getting old is vastly better than the alternative. So, what I’m trying to say; life just is. You take it a day at a time. You deal with the ups and downs. Unless you want to die or be brain dead which is a distinct possibility with alcohol; you stay present and take your punches. It’s hugely difficult even for sober people but we have no other choice. Do we?