“People drink wine when they clean their bathrooms”

From my inbox:

Kellyfamilymama (day 24):

“I had no cravings at all yesterday, and they’ve been really few and far between, in general, which has been nice. However, I did have this really weird short period of what I can only call “mental time travel” where the idea of having a glass of wine seemed like the most normal thing in the world. I was cleaning my bathroom during this time, of all the crazy weird activities to be doing when a “wolfie attack” should come along! The thoughts were short-lived, but there was mental dialogue that went something like this:

Wolfie: You are scrubbing the toilet, how mundane! Wouldn’t wine be nice right now?”

Me: Mmmm, wine! Yes, that sounds great. [I picture the bottle, my fancy cork screw, I imagine smelling the aroma, and the sounds of the glug-glug pouring into the glass.]

Wolfie: Yes, drinking wine is the most normal thing in the world.

Me: Hey, wait a minute!

Wolfie: Everyone does it, and you deserve it.

Me: Wait, this isn’t me talking. I’ve been sober for nearly a month, and have been feeling great. I don’t even really want wine right now. I am cleaning my bathroom for goodness sake!

Wolfie: People drink wine when they clean their bathrooms…

Me: Yeah, people with drinking problems. No thanks, wolfie. Go screw yourself. I am on to you.

Wolfie: [Cowers away in shame.]

All I can say is THANK YOU for introducing me to the idea of wolfie, because it really helped me to identify the thoughts as being separate from what I really want. If I did not understand wolfie, I might have allowed those thoughts to stick around, developing into something like:  “oh 24 days now, I’ve proven to myself I can control this, so one or two glasses of wine won’t hurt.” Knowing it to be wolfie really helped me address the issue healthfully, with my real intentions staying at the forefront of my mind.”

Happy day 50 to Ellena!

Happy day 50 to Josh!

Happy day 50 to Dolly!

Happy day 50 to TheFun4!

Happy day 50 to Laurel!

Happy day 50 to Hazeleyes!

Happy day 50 to Tim!

Happy day 50 to SarahinSurrey!

Happy day 100 to Quinn!

Happy day 180 to Erinup!

Happy day 300 to Carrie!

And here’s what Quinn has to say about day 100:

I guess I am feeling very very reflective and not really celebratory… will definitely take a moment to congratulate myself, but there is so much more bubbling up — kind of a new process.  I am for sure going to bump out the ‘challenge” to 180 days. Seems like the right fix was not thinking of “forever” but rather short term increments that of course I can make it that far, right? … I have not yet had a chance to really think back on 2013 and the journey that brought me to your blog Belle,  but it’s there on the cusp and I am keeping it tucked away for the perfect moment of reflection. When I have some time to really think, write a bit and cherish the journey, it’s truly been one that needs recognition and I am so very proud to have gotten this far. Trying to keep the other voice in my head from saying Why did it take you this long? Think of how many years you have missed!, learning to ignore this voice and learning to say how very proud I am to have arrived at this place in my life! Thanks again to the both of you (B&R) and for all that you do for others. I will keep checking the blog on a daily basis and let it help me chew up the next 80 days.”

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

6 thoughts to ““People drink wine when they clean their bathrooms””

  1. Kelly – I totally agree on the genius of separating Wolfie from yourself. Especially when he whispers sweet nothings about cleaning toilets and wine! Very funny! Quinn – a big 100 day congrats!! You’re Awesome!!!! And of course congrats to all you other sober rock stars!!!! (-;

  2. I really enjoyed the post about cleaning toilets. Wolfie usually speaks to me when I am folding laundry, packing the kids lunches for the next day, or paying the bills. It’s like a mini attack that comes out of the blue! Kudos to you for telling him to go away.
    Congrats Quinn! I hope someday I will be as reflective as you on day 100! Best wishes for your journey to day 180. You will do it with flying colors I am certain.

  3. This post resonates so much with me! Cleaning and mundane chores are definitely a drinking trigger. I just joined the 100 day challenge and I am really looking forward to kicking Wolfie to the curb,

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