I love to hear that my un-normalcy is actually real …

Lots of response to the micro email i sent out yesterday called “Trapped in a revolving door for 28 years…” (if you missed it because you’re not on the list, then get on it

here’s some of the feedback:

Fiona (day 94): “Amen to that! What strikes me about the vast majority of these posts are how they resonate SO much. The revolving door is exactly what it felt like and I’ve lost count of the notes to self and the resulting self pitying scrawl when I’ve been pissed – again! Really love this e-mail thing as they pop in when you least expect it and it acts like a cuddle – great stuff!”

Nevermore (day 4): “I LOVE this story. I do know about the sticky notes. I even had a printout of all the reasons to stop drinking, taped to my desk. It started becoming invisible and wrinkled with all the moving around it got from being in my way. My friend was too demanding each night. I love her paragraph: “Well, it was like I was trapped in a revolving door for 28 SODDING YEARS and somehow it has stopped in the right place I have walked out and can breathe again.” I am taping THAT to my desk!”

Shell Bell (day 10):“Don’t stop “the after thought” emails…. Amanda was RIGHT ON TARGET! I felt the same way!! – I am celebrating day [10] – but my life was an endless “when i quit, I should quit, I need to quit…” post-it notes plastered to my brain and vision! I also let go of all my “joys”, working out, being social to working all day- heading home- feed the kids, and sit down and drink a bottle wine daily- and get depressed because nothing is changing! What a fricking crazy lie from the voice of Wolfie! I love to hear that my un-normalcy is actually real… and that there is hope! Tell Amanda I “high five her!”- and am cheering her on! Maybe her post-it notes now read “Superstar!, Awesome! Beautiful”…. and Sober! She will be in such a better place for her Mom….mentally to process the things she may not be able to change but accept… Back to shaking the money tree….. (aka work). Sober laughing rocks!”

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

17 thoughts on “I love to hear that my un-normalcy is actually real …

  1. Can you clarify something for me? So you took an informal poll and the majority of respondents said they prefer that everything be kept on the blog. Now you’re sending out micro emails with content NOT on the blog, but you’re posting responses to that email ON the blog? Am I missing something? What was the point, then? It just seems like you’re TRYING to get people on the email list, even seeming to add emphasis to email responses about how cool the micro emails are. Ooooookay….

    1. guess it just shows that I can’t please everybody : ) and yeah, I don’t always do what I’m supposed to do, I do what feels right to me. I’m following the poll in that I’m putting 75% of the content on the blog… maybe that’s not how you would have interpreted the poll : ) My original idea was micro emails anyway, and now I’m finding that despite what people thought they’d like, it turns out they DO like the emails. It was my gut response. And hey, we don’t share the same guts, so that’s OK too! Sober first and we can arm wrestle for the rest of it : ) Another weird thing is that there’s more people on the email list to read my blog in order than there are followers of the blog. I’m not sure why or how that worked out but there you go …
      In future, I’ll just go with my gut and not poll first. It’s done me well thus far.
      happy sober day : )

      1. The more the better. I look forward to all the correspondence…it is my comfort, refuge, touch stone, sanity reminder, safe place, mirror, joy…this blog, these emails, the shared reflections help me stay in this sober world. Thanks all. Day 137 and the world is indeed better.
        LD

  2. On a lighter note…for me the sticky notes were not to tell me I had to stop drinking, but rather, notes about conversations I had if I talked to someone on the phone while Iwas enroute to a blackout! I can now shake my head with self sympathy and give my former self a big hug and say “poor you”. So glad I am here at day 37 and fully capable of recanting all conversations the day after.

  3. First – It doesn’t matter to me if it is the blog or an email. I just just love receiving anything from “Tired of thinking about drinking.” Secondly, I’ve realized that now that I am 185 days sober, my sticky notes now say: Begin a new exercise routine, cook something wonderful for dinner, join a book club, learn a new piano piece, make a career change! Those are wonderful stickies to look at each day! Hugs to you all!

  4. I want it all! Email, blog, whatever! Maybe that’s why I’m an alcoholic, because a little is never enough! Too funny. Thanks for doing everything you do to keep this online connection going! It has truly been a God send for me personally!

  5. I love this blog and read it daily. Blog as much or as little as you like and I will still read it.

    On the notes, I have one next to my bathroom mirror. It says, “I can drink OR I can have the life that I want. That’s the choice.” I see it in the morning, and when I come home after work to switch my contact lenses for glasses, I see it again. Makes me stop in my tracks if I had a bad day and am thinking of walking down to the restaurant at the end of my street (walk = no drunk driving) for a couple of drinks. As another good (and sober for years) friend told me, “If I drink, my life turns to sh#t.” This is also true. I logged onto serenitext.com, where you can plug messages in to randomly text you. You get 15 on the free service. I have motivational messages, along with the two I just mentioned, texting to me every other day, at random times. The other day, when I had a REALLY horrific day, was leaving work and seriously thinking of hitting my street’s restaurant bar, it texted me, “Drink, and your life turns to sh#t.” Well, THAT stopped me in my tracks. I highly recommend the texts if you’re a texting person, in addition to the notes.

  6. had to chime in here, too…
    for me, i really appreciate the emails. i have very little time to email and respond to posts, but every little share, thought, idea and kernel of wisdom help me immeasurably throughout my busy day.
    this blog and all the little perks that come with it have been my main support and for that, belle, i am so very grateful.
    day 40!
    moon

  7. I agree! Any email or post is like a ray if sunshine in my day. I was in a meeting and saw the new message come through on my phone and it made me feel good to have that contact in the middle of my hectic day where people look to me for answers and make decisions… The messages remind me that what I’m doing is important..it’s real.. And I’m not alone. Thanks Belle.

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