tired. sleepy. dark evenings. dark mornings. friday night i went to bed and slept 12 hrs. hibernation. i’m such a sun girl, these grey days just send me to sleep 🙂 well, at least i’m not hung over, drinking, feeling shitty, worrying, wondering if i’ll ever be able to quit.
in the past weeks i’ve written about my new dream of one day having a physical bakery space (like graduating out of my home kitchen into a real store). I said: “there are no bakeries in bottles” and then Cat Girl (51) sent me this: “I shall think: there are no puppies or husbands or diving holidays or book deals or triathlons or belly laughter in bottles.”
I’ve also said, “I am sober so that i can have a bakery” and then Matt (7) sent me this: “I choose my wife … she is my sober bakery, I cannot keep her if I am drinking and I KNOW this, she will leave, so I will not drink.”
when newly sober, we often focus on giving up booze, instead of focussing instead on what we GET. So what do you get? What might happen to you in your life if you are sober? What is your ‘sober bakery’? Rebecca is sober so she can write a book. what about you?
from my inbox:
ErinUp (120): “I love how you listen and acknowledge and how you don’t sugarcoat. It reminds me to be more honest with myself. I feel like when you post something I have written that you *get me*. I guess if I went to AA or some other support group they would probably *get me* too. But at this point it’s just not my thing. It’s a cool thing for others, but I’m good with the path I am on.”
Laurie (82): “Yesterday afternoon I had a crisis — by crisis, I mean things didn’t go my way. I am not going to say what happened because it is really so minor and I am embarrassed to think of how upset I got by it. Anyway, the first thing that popped into my mind was “I need a drink!” and then “This is the perfect excuse for a glass of wine” and “Only wine will make this better.” We went to a restaurant and sat just feet away from the bar. I actually thought about being on Day 82 and how close I was to 100 and how it was just amazing I had made it this far but how it would soon be over. I wanted a glass of wine. I needed a glass of wine! But I ordered hot tea with lemon and honey (thinking I may still need a glass of wine in a minute.) I sipped and looked out the window, chatted and laughed, and calmed down. I didn’t have alcohol but was oh so close. How can it be that after 82 days I am still vulnerable to an impulse? Well, my new motto is “tea first.” Hopefully, I will never need to go any further.” (she’s on day 105 now!)
SL: “What I learned from this: take it easy for 30 days. Don’t try to do it all — I’m an all or nothing person. I know it’s stupid and it doesn’t work. Stuck in that cycle, and booze has allowed me to stay stuck in all or nothing. When I feel overwhelmed by *all*, I use booze to do *nothing*. I don’t have to be an all or nothing person.”
Team 100 update:
318 members, welcome to Carrie Kaffer (6), Dr L (3), Jec (9), Pinky (3), Chay (3). Happy days to Rose Garden (101), Donna (105), SoberMom (80), Christina (80), Nic (70), CB (60), Dale (50), Lex (30), Katie (21), Erin Elisabeth (20), Forchalon (10), Dennis (10), Lawyer Anne (210), Mr. Belle (201). KT (190), Paula (160).