“Ready for team 180, team 365 and beyond!”

When Tiffany reached day 100, she sent me this message:

“For the most part, once I really faced the fact that I needed to do this, it’s gone fairly smoothly. Several things have helped:

1. Following your blog of course and your email support.

2. I think the single best piece of advice I have gleaned from you is “you can always go to bed early.” Luckily, my son is old enough where that is true – I can just bow out, and say to my husband and son, I am going upstairs to read or take a bath or I am going to bed early. This really helps because I have come to realize I am a prickly person, and super sensitive to sounds, etc. So when I’m feeling hemmed in, or the noises are bothering me, or I’m just plain irritated and stressed, I used to head for the wine bottle. But removing myself from the situation and getting a good night’s sleep is the miracle cure. I always feel better in the morning.

3. My drink of choice when I’m out or want a treat at night is grapefruit juice and soda. Love it.

4. The best part is I am not racked with self loathing and I feel like I have the mental capacity to really stop and think about problems or emotional issues. I was so tired and hung over most of the time before I used to be reaction mode all the time. I think it’s been better for my family for sure – even if they get the full on cranky me sometimes. Though let’s be honest they got that before when I was hungover or hating myself!

5. I am getting a lot done. Still not enough hours in the day, though. I have a busy, growing business and a full family life. There’s no way I can do what I need to if I’m lagging everyday.

6. My sleep has been glorious – a full 8 hours every night – no night sweats, no bathroom runs, no tossing and turning and wine sick stomach. I have to travel for work, and not drinking has helped so much. Even when I’m crazy busy on a crazy pace, if I get a good night sleep, I am ready to go the next morning.

7. The other thing that has really helped in social situations and work situations – I work in an industry that is super hard partying – is that I have tapped into my contrarian nature. There have been a few awkward moments when people tried to pressure me into drinking. Once I realized I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, it set me free. I really don’t. Screw them. I know this is best for me and I don’t need to follow the herd.

8. I’ve had a few cravings or thoughts along the way, but realize it’s just a thought and it will pass. Also, I talk back to the thought – Drinking would be a very bad idea, I know exactly where it will end, and it isn’t a pretty place.

9. I wish I could say the weight has fallen off. It hasn’t at all. I have not been a diet hawk because I don’t have the energy. Also, I am not striving for perfection. How I am is good enough, especially with not drinking, and not drinking is No. 1 priority.

10. Lastly, in my mind, I stopped counting days (just after day 30 or so). I just tried to move on, and think this is my life now. So I totally plan to stay this way forever. Life is so much better, and I am living it more now, warts and all. But I am so happy you let me know I reached 100. I am proud of myself!!

I can’t thank you enough. I absolutely LOVED your recent post “That Girl.” Related to it all.. Also the advice about not making a big decision when you are feeling shitty. That is such a good one!

Good work and thank you for everything! Totally ready for team 180, team 365 and beyond!” ~ Tiffany (now on day 107!)

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

11 thoughts on ““Ready for team 180, team 365 and beyond!”

  1. I love this! The part about tapping into her contrarian nature really hit a nerve with me. Why not be different and tell the haters to mind their own business? What an amazing and confident attitude shift that would be. I am going to try it! Peace!

  2. Reading about the experience of others is so helpful…just knowing there are other regular folk who have struggled with the same,lousy, basic issue and are turning that same, simple corner in their lives gives me a sense of calm and peace…I am not the only one and I am not alone in this. Thank you for sharing your experience Tiffany and thank you Belle for providing this essential tool for transformation. I am sober and grateful…
    LD

  3. Belle this is awesome! Tiffany…I loved reading your inspiring email. You sound so strong, content and happy! You should be! I agree 100% that when all else fails…I go to bed to sleep and it ALWAYS works! Congrats on 100 + 7 days and I wish you many, many more!!!! Hugs, Katherine

  4. My head was nodding the whole time I was reading Tiffany’s reflection. I have gone through so much of what she mentions and it makes me feel stronger to know these emotions/experiences are shared by someone else. I’m on day 74 and the positives of not drinking are so much bigger than any drawbacks.

  5. Thanks for your post Tiffany. You have pointed out the most important bullet points of this sobriety journey. I had forgotten about counting the days, so just checked my sober app – 117! I too am joining the ranks of the 180 club and onward to 365 – then LIFE! It’s an awesome journey with sober cyber pals. Hugs to you Belle!

  6. Congratulations! Reading this is exactly what I needed to hear. So thank you for sharing.

    After 30 days of sobriety I went on a four day binge. Being a binge drinker is a bit different because I don’t sit and dwell on alcohol every day. In fact, I had to write the dates down of my last drink so I could remember . What is probably completely the same is the self loathing. To top things off, I get severe anxiety for up to a week after drinking. The kind that makes your heart jump and you want to crawl out of your skin. Ah, the good times.

    I want thank everyone in this blogging community. Even though it may not seem like it to some right now, you’ve helped me to know I’m not alone in this.

    By the way, this is day two.

  7. Jenn, Just wanted to say your post will help so many people. Me, for one. I’m on day 100+ and not waivering as much as feeling like I need to be reminded from time to time why again I don’t drink anymore. And why it needs to be forever. And not to feel sorry for myself. That I’m definitely not alone. And that there are AMAZINGLY brave people out there admitting the same things I’m thinking/doing/feeling/questioning/fearing. I’m deeply proud of you for posting that, and getting out of that binge mess that I too could find myself in, and being on Day TWO! So, so proud. And grateful. Thank you.

    1. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that Sarita2! I’ve been so wishy washy for the last couple of days. Crying at the drop of a hat. Most of it has to do with a death in my immediate family that I’m feeling guilty for because I was in the middle of my binge when I got the call. The rest of the story is that the PMS monster has kicked into high gear (or it may just be pre menopause {I’m 44 so anyone’s guess is as good as mine}).

      I wanted to clarify my last comment. In reading it again, it sounds like I don’t think I’m an alcoholic. Like most of you, I really f-ing hate that word and it’s taken me 6 months to admit that my binge drinking is a form of alcoholism. DUH!

      My step father (who is like a real father to me and also is my boss) of 36 years is a recovering alcoholic with 35 years of sobriety. He’s literally helped 1000’s of people in that time. I could NEVER bring myself to tell him. I know most of you will think I’m an idiot not to tap into that wisdom but the thought of letting him down kills me. I’m also not so big into the AA world. For some reason I get that “holier than thou” feeling from the sober members. That could also be the guilt I feel for having my own problem.

      I didn’t mean to take over the comments on this post. Just wanted to reiterate my thankfulness for finding Beloved Belle and all of her Beautiful Friends!

      Making it through Day 3 again but struggling.

      1. welcome to day 3! weepy or not : ) you’ll tell who you want, how you want, when you’re ready. in the meantime, only one goal. be sober. the rest is bonus.

  8. Thank you Belle! I took your advice and walked 3 miles just breathing in the fresh air and actually enjoying the sun on my face. I had fallen off the exercise wagon. I remember now why I need to do it every day.

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