that voice? a liar.

liar

Sam (day 20): Not exactly craving alcohol….more annoyed that I can’t have any. Also annoyed that I haven’t lost any weight at all, which I can’t understand since I’ve obviously cut out an insane amount of calories and I really haven’t been replacing them with sweets, If anything, I’m eating much more healthfully.  I guess I’m just annoyed and wondering why I’m even doing this.  Yes, believe me I know I feel so much better, and I think I look better too, overall, sleeping 100% better, etc.  I guess I’m acting like a 2 yr old that wants cake for breakfast and was told no … Anyway, I’m struggling with thoughts of just having one … that’s it.  However, I know when I have had drinks with my friend in the past, I’ll have three to his one.  So, I really don’t want to go there. Arggh.. this is such a  frustrating circle of thinking. I’m venting, obviously. Any words of advice would be appreciated.

Me: Oh, I have only sympathy (or is it empathy?) for you – cuz man-oh-man I’ve been there!  You will not lose weight in the first 3-6 months of quitting booze. That’s asking too much.  One thing at a time.  You will not weigh the same as you do now when you are 6 months sober. That I promise.  But ‘stacking’ a whole bunch of expectations on yourself will just create a feeling of ‘fuck-it’, so i think you need to be much kinder 🙂 and a bit more patient 🙂  being sober is enough on your plate for now.

Yes, you may well feel like you want to drink again. I understand that completely. And you can tell yourself that you might drink again after you’ve done 100 days sober, so you can see what it’s like.  There’s plenty of time to ‘drink’ in the future.  For now, you’re doing a thing, to see how you like it.  And yes, in the first couple of weeks there will be tantrums.  That booze voice is very persistent.  But it’s also a liar.  And it’s not YOU.

  • more about tantrums here
  • more about problems and solutions here
  • more about support and hand-holding here.

Team 100 update: 220 members, welcome to SelfSearcher (8). Happy days to Rose Garden (30), Dale (31), Ben (71), Shannon Z (51), Thirsty (51), Durfee (52), Sharon (28), FacingMeNow (28), Emm Cee (60), Christine (21), Lilith (21), LD (32), Lisa (31), Kay (25), Kam (24), JM (151), April (21),The Soberist (10), CT (7), Brett (7), Lilly (114), Lynda (160), DDG (160), Mr. Belle (130).

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

8 thoughts to “that voice? a liar.”

  1. I gave in to those feelings at day 24, got more drunk than I perhaps ever have, and I can categorically say it’s not worth it. 3 days later I still feel terrible and am still drinking a bit. When you’re sober, you have the power to know the benefits, the perspective to realise this is the best choice, and the strength to enact saying no. In my current state, I’m weak again, back to square 1 and overwhelmed with exhaustion and despair.

    Stick with one day at a time, resetting to day 0 is not worth it for one second.

    1. poor you. you’re right, it’s definitely not worth it. better to have a crappy sober day than any other kind of day! I’m here if you need to chat. and the entire sober universe is ready for when you’re ready to return : ) hugs, me

  2. I am so happy to be at Day 10, and scared of giving into my feelings of wanting to drink. Thanks for the reminders that it is just not worth it, and that the voice in my head is a liar! Damn junkie thoughts. I will be strong, do a lot of reading on blogs, and have a wonderful day.

  3. I’m on day 14 and there have been a couple of crappy days this week. Frustration, tears, thought s of just one glass. All I know is that if the evening sucks, the following morning will be better.

    I also thought I would drop some weight and don’t get belle’s 30-60 days estimate. Geez, minus 600-800 calories a day has to mean something. If I could just drop a few pounds, my mood would definitely improve.

      1. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think what she’s saying is now is not the time to focus on losing weight. In 3-6 MONTHS we will have passed the 100 day mark and will be in an entirely different place — emotionally, mentally and physically. One challenge at a time.

        I’ve been frustrated w/ my DEVOURING of sugar like never before and have gained about 5 lbs. But Belle has assured me it’s okay, that the time will come when I can actually focus on leveling that craving out.

        I have to say it’s day 66 for me and I feel like I’m kind of naturally cutting back on the sugar without even trying too very hard. What her “wait for 3-6 months” advice did for me was this: It took that inner voice that YELLS at me and beats me up every time I eat anything w/ sugar away. I tell myself it’s okay to have 8 cookies if I want — for now. That there will be a time when I won’t want them as much. And getting that guilt monkey off my back has really helped. That’s my take on it anyway.

        That said, lots of other people have almost immediately lost weight, started exercising and feeling like a million bucks. Not me though. But now I feel like I’m getting close to being able to do that AND not be a booze hound at the same time.

  4. I’ve read that alcohol contains a lot of sugar, so when you quit drinking your body will also crave the sugar (although you may not realize it). Many long-time sober people have told me to go ahead and eat all the chocolate, ice cream, cookies, etc. you want while in early sobriety, that it helps. Many also told me they actually gained pounds in early sobriety (one friend told me she gained 30 pounds after she quit drinking! But it all came off eventually without much effort). Another told me that in her first two years of not drinking she actually lost nearly 100 pounds (after a small initial gain).

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