From my inbox:
CGW (14): I’ve shocked myself entirely by not imbibing this weekend. I realized that previously I’d literally make my entire weekend plans based on the ability to drink. Instead, my husband & I actually got out and explored a new coffee shop. I also identified some trigger points, namely that I was using wine to deflect boredom and loneliness during the weekends … instead of using wine to deal with my loneliness I’m trying to view my time as an asset — not something to be burned away in a cloud of booze. Seems to be working so far 🙂
Donna (14): Part [of why i drank again] is about me living in the past, and since in the past I had failed at this then surely I would again. It was inevitable so I said to myself “just get it over with.” But I believe that isn’t the truth and the lesson is I must keep looking forward through my front window shield. Sure it is important for me to check the rear view mirror but IF that is all I am looking at then I am sure to crash again.
Erinup (29): I feel stronger, more committed each day. It just starts to feel more like who I am rather than someone I am trying to be. I kind of see a graph and right now the learning curve is really steep. Each day of learning and experiencing is creating significant positive impact. The behavior/reward pattern is starting to shift ever so slowly so that I start to feel that the reward of waking up clear headed is worth not drinking. I have to wait a few hours for the reward, but it is consistently there. The “reward” of drinking is inconsistent at best and comes with an equal amount of damage.
Thirsty Still (31): I am still sober. By now it’s no big surprise. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great, but I can’t be anything but sober if I don’t drink and I just don’t intend on doing that. I feel a huge shift in my mindset, which I think has come from reading about what so many others have been through and from accepting that, yes, the booze has been a problem, and no, I can’t drink any more, and OK, so what’s the big deal about that. Well, that’s today anyway. But I feel strong in this, and solid.
Jessica (now day 24): Wow – day 20! If someone would have told me even a few months ago how much better I would feel after 20 days of sobriety, I would have laughed in his/her face. First of all, the fact that this reformed party girl is staring down another weekend AND vacation the following week and is excited about facing that time sober is such a huge step. And the fact that I am 37 years old and feel younger than I have in ages, well, that kinda speaks for itself. Why, then, is sobriety some big, dark secret in our society? It is commonplace, even expected, heck, it’s glorified – to drink. I think I am going to start glorifying sobriety in my little corner of the world. Watch it catch on!
True Grace (10): Sober. I resist the worry, fear, anxiety, doubt, hopelessness that assails me. I refuse to be attacked by it. Life really is awesome since I decided it to be.
Beta coaching class has started, hooray. I’ve recorded the first two audios (intro + lesson 1) and it started to gigantically pour rain right at the end of the intro. “Cue the Dramatic Weather!”
I am otherwise well. Team 100 has 187 people in it (holy!) and i think that this sober blogging experience i’ve had over the past 13+ months is just the coolest thing. Ever. so many interesting people, so much cool growth. so many a-ha moments. Yes, there is also real grief and pain and struggle. And mixed in there is laughter and clarity and sober genius. The best kind.
I have a busy week this week with recording the daily audios for the class, and 3 days of catering, and lounging outside under the plane trees with my iPad (the city provides wifi at the park, how exciting).