Brandy has a long history of alcohol problems, and lost her father to the disease. She joined the 100 day challenge, and she restarted on day 1 a couple of times.
On May 7th, I got this email from her: “I hate to say and was embarrassed to tell you that I am starting over again 🙁 How do you do it?”
me: Good question. How did I do it… I accepted, I think, that the first 30 days were going to suck. I ate take out, I did the minimum work allowable to not get fired. I slept A LOT. Some nights I went to bed at 8:30 pm just because I wanted to drink so bad. I ate a ton of junk. I drank tonic water (bitter) with cranberry juice. And I hid in bed. I didn’t go out very much and … well, I waited. I also blogged every single day. (Not that you have to blog, of course, but you could email every day or even twice a day or every three hours, whatever it takes…). Usually, if I felt like drinking (which I did), then once I blogged about it, it was like I had “told” on my inner addict and the cravings were relieved somewhat … I know you’ve been sober before for periods of time. What have you done before that worked – at least short term …
On day #9, she sent me this:
Brandy: I started feeling the urge again yesterday but I did take your advise. I took the rest of the day off from work and I organized my closet and my daughter’s closet. Yes, decluttering it is a weird kind of calming and therapy. I cooked a nice meal watched a movie and went to bed early! I am happy to say I am on day 9. I will continue to take your advise to get me thru these low days.
On day #13:
Brandy: OMG… I made it thru the weekend!! Wow:) I will tell you that wolfie was putting all kind of crap in my head….”you can drink after a long day working in the yard” I really laughed and said shut the f&%k up! Instead I rewarded myself with some sweet treats and a good nite sleep!
On day #30:
Brandy: It’s truly a MIRACLE 🙂 Enjoying my sober life today! So many blessing have happened in just 30 days. F@$K you WOLFIE!
And then it seemed that sobriety really took hold of Brandy. And today she’s on Day 51. I asked her to explain why she’s sober now — what’s different this time?
Brandy: I am sober today because of my higher power… I mean it is truly a miracle. The last time I drank… I wanted to give up and die, in this despair…. I got on my knees and prayed. While I was praying I did feel this sense of comfort and a little voice saying…”It’s going to be OK.”- Then I knew, I never have to drink and feel that way ever again!
Since that day, what has helped me stay sober is your blog, my AA (ladies only meetings), and praying every morning for the strength to stay sober just for today and at night thanking my higher power for giving me that strength.
Today, I feel like a different person than I did at day 4. My mind is so much clearer and I have some pretty big plans with my life. When I think back to some of my actions while drinking, I think: “Who was that person?” I am happy to be ME again… and am truly happy to have “my life without drinking”
As you know I lost my father to this disease. I am just so grateful that I can say I am sober today and can make him proud!
Thank you for believing in me Belle 🙂
This isn’t a blog post about me. This is a blog post about not giving up, and keeping going even if you feel shitty. This is a blog post about Brandy and how fucking tough she is. And this is a blog post about Team 100. “I get by with a little help from my friends.”
Team 100 update: Holy christmas 121 members. Welcome to Caroline & Maggy (6), Katherine (322), & LimeTree (3). Happy days to Lawyer Anne (80), Lauren (95), Debra (151), KT (60), LilyUK (55), Paula (30), Allie (20), JG (55), Leah (45), Sam (21), ZenMeg (10), Cam (50), Sara (40), Julz & Quill (30), Lex & CB (10), Meka (11), Cassie’s Mom (14).