Tired of Thinking About Drinking

I get by with a little help from my friends

Brandy has a long history of alcohol problems, and lost her father to the disease. She joined the 100 day challenge, and she restarted on day 1 a couple of times.

On May 7th, I got this email from her: “I hate to say and was embarrassed to tell you that I am starting over again 🙁 How do you do it?”

My answer:

me: Good question. How did I do it… I accepted, I think, that the first 30 days were going to suck.  I ate take out, I did the minimum work allowable to not get fired. I slept A LOT. Some nights I went to bed at 8:30 pm just because I wanted to drink so bad. I ate a ton of junk. I drank tonic water (bitter) with cranberry juice. And I hid in bed. I didn’t go out very much and … well, I waited. I also blogged every single day. (Not that you have to blog, of course, but you could email every day or even twice a day or every three hours, whatever it takes…). Usually, if I felt like drinking (which I did), then once I blogged about it, it was like I had “told” on my inner addict and the cravings were relieved somewhat … I know you’ve been sober before for periods of time. What have you done before that worked – at least short term …

On day #9, she sent me this:

Brandy: I started feeling the urge again yesterday but I did take your advise.  I took the rest of the day off from work and I organized my closet and my daughter’s closet. Yes, decluttering it is a weird kind of calming and therapy.  I cooked a nice meal watched a movie and went to bed early! I am happy to say I am on day 9.  I will continue to take your advise to get me thru these low days.

On day #13:

Brandy: OMG… I made it thru the weekend!!  Wow:)  I will tell you that wolfie was putting all kind of crap in my head….”you can drink after a long day working in the yard” I really laughed and said shut the f&%k up! Instead I rewarded myself with some sweet treats and a good nite sleep!

On day #30:

Brandy: It’s truly a MIRACLE 🙂 Enjoying my sober life today! So many blessing have happened in just 30 days. F@$K you WOLFIE!

And then it seemed that sobriety really took hold of Brandy. And today she’s on Day 51.  I asked her to explain why she’s sober now — what’s different this time?

Brandy: I am sober today because of my higher power… I mean it is truly a miracle.  The last time I drank… I wanted to give up and die, in this despair…. I got on my knees and prayed.  While I was praying I did feel this sense of comfort and a little voice saying…”It’s going to be OK.”- Then I knew, I never have to drink and feel that way ever again!

Since that day, what has helped me stay sober is your blog, my AA (ladies only meetings), and praying every morning for the strength to stay sober just for today and at night thanking my higher power for giving me that strength.

Today, I feel like a different person than I did at day 4.  My mind is so much clearer and I have some pretty big plans with my life.  When I think back to some of my actions while drinking, I think: “Who was that person?” I am happy to be ME again… and am truly happy to have “my life without drinking”

As you know I lost my father to this disease. I am just so grateful that I can say I am sober today and can make him proud!

Thank you for believing in me Belle 🙂

This isn’t a blog post about me. This is a blog post about not giving up, and keeping going even if you feel shitty. This is a blog post about Brandy and how fucking tough she is. And this is a blog post about Team 100. “I get by with a little help from my friends.”

Team 100 update: Holy christmas 121 members. Welcome to Caroline & Maggy (6), Katherine (322), & LimeTree (3).  Happy days to Lawyer Anne (80), Lauren (95), Debra (151), KT (60), LilyUK (55), Paula (30), Allie (20), JG (55), Leah (45), Sam (21), ZenMeg (10), Cam (50), Sara (40), Julz & Quill (30), Lex & CB (10), Meka (11), Cassie’s Mom (14).

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9 thoughts on “I get by with a little help from my friends

  1. Katherine on said:

    Brandy you are SO tough! Congrats on 50 days!!! You rock girl ! So good to hear in your writing how much stronger, happier and content you are! I agree that having Belle and this sober community is the greatest gift and place to come to for support! We’re not alone….we are connected…yet we all have different stories from our past…we all want the same end result in our lives! “Freedom from alcohol”!

    I’m tooting my horn in my sober car for you today!!! Toot toot! 🙂

  2. Really awesome, thanks for sharing. It is so good to hear the stories of those who have powered through the early days and figured out how to get their sober car some momentum for the road.

  3. Brandy – that is so awesome!!! I, too, have had to start the challenge over again, but I am going strong. Its amazing what we can do when we get by with a little help from our friends! I too, feel like I had a voice speak to me and tell me to “get off your ass and fight” I did some of the things that Belle suggested, including blogging almost every day. The writing helped me. So glad to hear of the accomplishments of the members of this amazing team!

  4. Lurker M on said:

    Wow, Brandy, you are one strong woman. Brilliantly inspiring.

  5. Yes yes YES! Go, Brandy!!! Kick wolfie to the GROUND. I remember getting to the crest of that hill and being like, OK, that really sucked to not drink last night, but…today is here, I am still sober, AND, well, I’m so glad I didn’t drink! I remind myself of that feeling every time wolfie strikes: remember, you will be SO GLAD you didn’t drink. Congrats, Brandy. You got this!

  6. really good post, i needed to read it. (and every post). good stuff.

  7. Congrats Brandy! We’re all so proud of you and so thankful for Belle and her blog where we can all support each other. Love to you all!

  8. Brandy, my love, you are well on your way ot a life filled with sober friends, wonderfully memorable weekends with your family and a future that looks as good as the last few days do in the rearview mirror. Speaking from a place of nearly thirty years, I am SO BLASTED PROUD of you glorious people who are succeeding even if it takes several tries. Rock on, I am supporting you 100% of the way !~! (LyndaLand.blogspot.com)

  9. brandy on said:

    Wow… I am a little teary eyed. lol Thank you so much for all the positive support and Belle thank you for this blog. This just made my day:)

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