monday

Happy to be mailing out the first 5 bracelets today 🙂 super powers are on the way!

I got a great email from Colleen in my inbox on the weekend:

Wouldn’t it be interesting if we could live out two lives — sort of like the in the Christmas Carol?  So we could see our life with alcohol, and the one where we chose sobriety?  How interesting would it be if we could see how our lives would be played out with each scenario.  What would we lose, gain?

I play this game in my head it scares me…because I know that alcohol would take everything away — my family, friends, health, finances, looks,  I am so glad I am not on that path and am choosing sobriety — the upward path.  But I know that the downward path of self-inflicted path of misery, pain and suffering is waiting for me — hiding and ready to pounce on me at places like backyard bbq, birthday parties and other seemingly innocuous places. I am grateful that I am on the path of sobriety and I don’t want to ever give up this freedom.

Had a nice time at my friend’s party … I didn’t have the desire to drink at all and this is SUCH a blessing.  I have made it this far before, but always white knuckling it — feeling deprived that everyone could drink and I couldn’t.  It is different this time.  I feel like I am the lucky one

Team 100 update: 97 members, welcome to Gindy (58), Lex (3), Camla (3).  Happy days to: Suzanne (9), Sara (16), Rebecca (72), Mel (15), Carolyn (8), Leah (22), Jackie (40), Elle & Helene (22), Mary (10), Colleen (32), JG (31), Lurker B (7), Debbie (21), Sunny Sue (90), Lilly (31), Thirteenpointone (365!).

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I’m tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

4 thoughts to “monday”

  1. I’m guessing I’m not the only one who gives a little Woo-Hoo! for the names that get listed, to sincerely cheer on those people I’ve never met…my head says things like “Go Mary! You’re over the hump and only four more days ’till you get to the two week mark and you’ll be so proud!” and “Oh, lucky Collen and JG are getting close to pink clouds. I love that!”, and of course…”I can’t wait until Belle posts my 365th day!”.

    Heartfelt hugs and support and best wishes to all 97 of us and the countless lurkers! Be well. – D

  2. Anonymous thank you so much for that comment. This is Mary with 10 days … and I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. Today was a pretty challenging day and I really had to talk myself out of stopping for a bottle of wine. One of the things I thought about was how mad I’d be at myself in the morning and that it’s only four more days until I have two weeks. I’m in bed now which is a good thing … I’m too lazy to get dressed and go for wine. I’ll be asleep in minutes and in the morning I’ll have 11 days which will be a record for me in at least 8 years. Thank you again .. Mary

    1. Hi Mary! You’re doing awesome! I think putting your pajamas on and taking off all your makeup the minute you walk in the door is a super idea! Then it’s just too damn much work to make a wine run. If the family looks at you funny just tell them your making breakfast for dinner and it’s part of the theme.

      This is the time where you get to spoil yourself rotten to make up for being “deprived”. Milk it for all it’s worth! I’m talking spluging on fresh squeezed orange juice, having ice cream snacks and a little truffle or two before bed, getting a pedicure, and maybe a new lipstick or an iTune download. Shopping for your new favorite go-to drink is fun, too. I think I tried at least six brands of diet root beer before I found the B E S T. And I bought a new special glass to drink it out of, and bendy straws too! And lord help the family member that taps into my stash of it.

      It’s a good goal to get to 14 days. Then you’ll be proud, and can set another goal if you want, like maybe 30 days…I mean everyone makes such a big friggin deal about 30 days (i.e. 30 day chip, 30 day treatment centers), and there’s talk about the awesome pink cloud phase the follows (that really does!)…maybe there’s something to it.

      Hey just one more thought…do you ever listen to the Bubble Hour (link at Crying Out Now blog)? I spent a lot of time listening to them on my way home and finishing them in my driveway…getting psyched up for the witching hour that I knew I was getting ready to face. The “Straight Talk About Alcoholism Signs and Symptoms” episode was sobering for me, literally.

      So, just be really nice to yourself, and I’ll keep looking for the woo-hoos for you posted by Belle!

      Hi five! – D

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