I don’t walk in dog shit (Sunday Want Ad #2)

Did you just roll out of bed after a hellish night and you feel like a bag of shit?

Are you literally, right now at 6:00 am on a Sunday morning, searching online for sober help?

Yes, you. Yes I can see you through the computer screen.

WANTED

There’s a small bunch of us. We’re doing 100 days sober. Yes, in a row.

Benefits include great sleep, return of self-esteem, elimination of hangovers. Lots of support. Save $400 to $1000 a month by not drinking. Limited quantities available.

And this week, the first 9 people who sign up will receive a fast-action bonus: SECRET HOMEWORK to help with the first few days.

[Anath writes: I love the [secret homework], I feel excited and motivated by it. Genius!]

[MG writes: YES – the [secret homework] is pure brilliance.  The whole *** is amazing.  Why didn’t I ever think about that? …  I am quickly gaining resolve and determination as we speak.  I was sad and depressed a few days ago, but I’m not any longer.  I’m proud of myself.”] –yes, this is an actual email 🙂

Double your money back guarantee. Operators are standing by.

PS.

Are you the type to feel rebellious, and say “Why can’t I drink? Other people can drink. I feel so pissed off that I have to give up drinking. I should be ALLOWED…”

Is that you?  (yeah, me too!)

Well, the pouting, the “why can’t I drink,” comes from focusing on not being ABLE to.
But when you flip it on its head, and you turn it into a decision, then you get to say:

“I don’t drink because it’s not good for me.
I don’t do cocaine either.
There’s a whole list of things I don’t ingest
just because other people do.
I do what’s best for me.
I also don’t drive without a seatbelt
and I don’t walk in dog shit.
I am taking care of me.”

[Team 100 has had 71 people in it. You can join now – no matter what day of sobriety you’re on. Happy Day #7 to Allie, Paula & Dawn. Happy Day #8 to Lily UK, PP & Lilly. Happy Day #20 to Marie. It’s Day #21 for Kriss, and Day #18 for Laura.]

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

8 thoughts to “I don’t walk in dog shit (Sunday Want Ad #2)”

  1. Ha! Belle! I AM sitting here at 6:50 am thinking how GREAT it is not to be hungover. My coffee tastes so much better and is actually enjoyable vs. Fuck, I hope this will make me feel better. I’m feeling so good, I’m concocting the best ginger mint syrup to make my homemade non-alcoholic ginger ale that will much, much better without vodka. Screw the dogshit. 🙂

  2. Day 4 and I don’t feel like a bag of shit! I don’t look like a bag of shit Yay!And I am getting more hugs from my kids- it is a great Mothers day

  3. Day 1 all. Thanks for no nonsense inspiration. I know that these first 5 days suck and I’ve always fallen off by day 6. Always. I’m on board. June B.

  4. I guess I’m finally ready to sign up. I’ve tried to do it by following along, but it hasn’t worked. I will not drink for 100 days. Even though I haven’t made it through a mothers day without drinking in several years. (My mom died years ago and I always feel a little sorry for myself) This year I will enjoy my children sober. Even though I am a complete mess today and feel bad for my husband, I will not drink. Erika- Day 7

  5. How lucky we all are to have your older posts to read, to be able to read what someone else was going through at the exact number of days that we are at, and see that she made it through that day feeling just like we do. Wow! You are holding out such a wonderful gift, and I hope lots ladies will take advantage of this amazing free 100 day offer. I feel so fortunate that I signed up early!! Happy Day 316 belle! You’re the bomb!

  6. Today is my day 1 as well. 100 days will get me almost through the whole summer. Unimaginable, but willing to start today.

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