9 months

not a typo, not an april fool’s joke. today is my 9 month sober-versary… no shit!

besides all of the anticipated comments about how i’ve birthed a baby or grown a human in this time, how i’ve become me, etc. etc. lemme say this: something has changed for me this month.

When I was 8 months sober, i was like “well, that’s a nice accomplishment.” And as I got closer and closer to 9 months, i realized something else entirely new.  I began to know that I’m easily going all the way to 1 year.  I mean, really, it’s only a short 3-month coast downhill from here.  My sober car has enough momentum now that i can easily see my one year sober-versary coming up.

also, now that the sober car is moving downhill, under its own speed, I no longer have to have both hands firmly clenched at 10-and-2 all the time. I have started to be able to relax and look around at the scenery.

This wasn’t a planned transition — are transitions ever planned? — i just realized maybe two or three days ago that I’m done with all of the struggle. I’m done with cravings in any meaningful way. I periodically have a thought like “wine would be a good idea right now” but those thoughts aren’t very well formed, and they have no possibility of turning into an action.

Update on Team 100: Anne is working on day 22, Emily on 13, and Heidi had a truly crappy weekend and she’s on day 21. Lynda is nearly day 14 (celebrations!). And me, i’m on day 275 (my first day 100% sober was July 1st. My longest sober stretch before that was about 9 days … this is a tiny bit longer than 9 days now!).

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

24 thoughts on “9 months

  1. Congrats…such a wonderful landmark. For me, 9 months was special too. I really don’t know why, but it was. Perhaps because, like you, I was starting that final turn to the first year. But more importantly, I think what you said about those thoughts of drinking not forming, is a turning point in your recovery. We see that the thoughts of having a drink down bowl us over any more, they don’t sideswipe us and carry weight like they used to. They are thoughts, and like any thought, they can shooed away. They start to lose ferocity and importance. And it’s a great place to be in, so we are in the moment, and not forecasting a potential drunken episode.

    Wonderful news, Belle…love this little support group you have going on here.

    Blessings,
    Paul

    1. It means a lot to me that you’re out there, Paul. I sooo much need to have someone with more time than me around to shine the flashlight now and again, point out the landmarks, watch out for that tree root. Thanks and thanks again for this : )

  2. Congrats on 9 months! I hope my sober car will take me that far one day and beyond too. It’s a journey with no fixed time or destination. I only know the other road I was on had an end stop that I didn’t like the sound of.
    I like this adventure (with it’s ups and downs) much more.
    Beep beep!
    C x

  3. Well done Belle! You really deserve this for keeping the faith all along through thick and thin and for bringing so many along with you! CONGRATULATIONS! May the car keep rolling, rolling!

  4. I’ve realised the same thing lately. I really don’t want to drink despite cravings. That is a WONDERFUL surprise! Worth every white-knuckle minuet over the last 81/2 months 🙂

  5. Excellent news about all of you who are on this ride; keep at it; it gets better every month. Proud of you all.

  6. welp, guess I have to vote you most likely to be sober at 10 months now. Since you’re like, sooooo 9 months now.

    your sober car is electric! 🙂 De do de do do do do do do…

    I’m so glad to be part of all of it. Beep beep dear friend. You rock.

    1. if it’s electric, then I might have to periodically stop and charge it up. I’d rather carry an extra battery on the back – just in case … or wait, my car is SOLAR powered (and aren’t we all!). a bit of sun and I’m ready to go again… beep beep …

    1. isn’t that a nice idea? 5th gear. I can take my foot off the clutch, no need to switch gears on the near horizon. I’m on the prairie, cruising along, sunny, sunroof open, and Counting Crows blasting LOUD on the car stereo. is there anything better? Maybe Seal [1991] …

  7. Your testament is amazing! There have been several times when I am so emotionally exhausted and all I want to do is give up and give in, and I can read something you have written and I find some strength. Just enough to get me through the moment and keep moving forward. Happy sober day!

  8. Congratulations beautiful Belle. Your nine months has made such a difference to your life and, through your kindness and generosity of spirit, to many of us out here in the sobersphere on Team 100 and beyond.

    You rock. Totally.

  9. Me, too! Me, too! Congrats, Belle! I can’t tell you how much I look forward to seeing past 6 months, which I didn’t this time around. Anyway, I’m going to enjoy the gliding. Add me to the challenge–I’m on day 14 today (again)! Sober car, no brake lights!

    1. DDG, would love to have you in the challenge. just email me the pledge, and send me also your date of last drink so I can put it in the Excel chart : ) happy happy days for you! beep beep …

  10. I had to reply when you mentioned someone having an awful weekend & 21 days sober. : ) Someone said “When everything’s going my way, the sky’s blue, & I don’t drink, that’s a good day. When everything goes wrong, the sky’s gray, NOTHING goes my way, & I don’t drink- that’s a GREAT day!!” Keep your eyes open & enjoy the ride : )

  11. Congrats on 9 months Belle. That’s big.

    Something changed for me too at 9 months. I cannot pin point it, but feel I was turning a corner. I’m thinking there will be many more (good) corners I will turn.

    Counting Crows and Seal? 2 of my faves. Were we both I high school in the 80’s? ha ha 🙂

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