Sober penpal VP (day #14) says that some days she feels OK about being sober, but other times she can “smell defeat lurking.”
Funny thing that. I can smell it too, sometimes. I’ve been feeling like wine would be a good idea for a couple of days now. Of course, wine would be a TERRIBLE idea, but it’s been on my mind. I have weeks and days where i’m like la-la-la-la life is great, and then there’s a whiff of “defeat” and a twinge of “fuck it” …
what i wrote to VP, and what i’ll write now, again, so that i’m saying it to me too is: you may smell defeat lurking, but it’s just a feeling, not a decision. the smell will pass! especially if you talk about it (with others, with hubby), and if you open the windows (i.e. get outside and don’t isolate), and if you reach out for help 🙂
VP will be fine and I will be fine. i have moments, though, like everyone else. I will feel crummy for a bit. I’ll go to bed early. my brain will throw a temper tantrum. then i’ll be fine. I will reread my post about moods/feelings and decisions. and i’ll pretend that someone else wrote it.
happy day 17 to Lilly, day 13 to Leigh Ann, and day 296 to Thirteen… and happy day 269 to me 🙂