today i am 8 months sober. and i couldn’t be happier about it.
thankfully the first 30 to 60 days of “will this ever end” feelings have … well, they’ve ended. The answer is yes, there is an end to thinking about drinking. At least for me. At least for now.
I’ve been riding on a pretty good sober-high since i recovered from my shitty cold x2. This is the longest stretch where I have not thought about drinking at all. It doesn’t even register. Had a shitty day on Wednesday, super tired, disappointing, guy wanted to hire me for catering, came here and said he couldn’t hire me after all but stayed and ate all my samples – took up 2 hrs of my time – and then asked to take home the leftovers … and my response was to complain, and eat pie AND cake. I did not even think of having a drink. (ok, yes, I will later replace pie and cake with apples, but for now this is a huge and gigantic improvement of monumental proportions. i didn’t have to ‘bat away the idea’ of drinking, it didn’t even come up as a thought.)
sober pen pals. i wrote an email to Jenny that i’ve already posted here, but in brief it says: “Day one is behind you. hungover, regret, disappointment, it’s all finished. already behind you. Day one was the hardest (and most exciting) part … you’re already doing it. the thing you’re waiting for is here.”
And in writing to Jenny, it seems to have firmly lodged in my own brain in a kind of concrete way.
That and Amy’s genius post about just fucking giving it up already … “Out of all the glorious things in life there is only one thing you cannot have: alcohol. Drop that shit like a bad habit.”
and DDG is in a similar place, i think, a place where we’ve abandoned the shit, and are embracing the new reality. and we are beginning to feel ‘recovered’. There’s no big drama. I’ve adjusted to the newly found quiet in my head. And i’m moving forward… Like I told Jenny, doing the same thing today that worked yesterday. Rinse, Lather, Repeat.