Rinse, Lather, Repeat.

today i am 8 months sober. and i couldn’t be happier about it.

thankfully the first 30 to 60 days of “will this ever end” feelings have … well, they’ve ended.  The answer is yes, there is an end to thinking about drinking. At least for me. At least for now.

I’ve been riding on a pretty good sober-high since i recovered from my shitty cold x2. This is the longest stretch where I have not thought about drinking at all.  It doesn’t even register. Had a shitty day on Wednesday, super tired, disappointing, guy wanted to hire me for catering, came here and said he couldn’t hire me after all but stayed and ate all my samples – took up 2 hrs of my time – and then asked to take home the leftovers … and my response was to complain, and eat pie AND cake. I did not even think of having a drink. (ok, yes, I will later replace pie and cake with apples, but for now this is a huge and gigantic improvement of monumental proportions. i didn’t have to ‘bat away the idea’ of drinking, it didn’t even come up as a thought.)

what’s different?

sober pen pals. i wrote an email to Jenny that i’ve already posted here, but in brief it says: “Day one is behind you.  hungover, regret, disappointment, it’s all finished.  already behind you.  Day one was the hardest (and most exciting) part …  you’re already doing it.  the thing you’re waiting for is here.”

And in writing to Jenny, it seems to have firmly lodged in my own brain in a kind of concrete way.

That and Amy’s genius post about just fucking giving it up already … “Out of all the glorious things in life there is only one thing you cannot have: alcohol. Drop that shit like a bad habit.”

and DDG is in a similar place, i think, a place where we’ve abandoned the shit, and are embracing the new reality. and we are beginning to feel ‘recovered’.  There’s no big drama. I’ve adjusted to the newly found quiet in my head. And i’m moving forward… Like I told Jenny, doing the same thing today that worked yesterday.  Rinse, Lather, Repeat.

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I’m tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

15 thoughts to “Rinse, Lather, Repeat.”

  1. Hurrah for 8 months! That’s like, almost a year dude.

    I am proud of you, and cranky with guy who ate up all the food. Butthole. Asking for leftovers?? Sheesh.

    I don’t miss that giant space booze took up in my life. It was like it was slowly pushing me out, painting me into a corner, until booze was all that was going to be left. So no wonder we don’t miss it, big bully. What’s to miss?

    I ate 97 lemon cookies the other day so don’t feel bad. Sometimes it’s just a cake AND pie kind of day. 🙂

  2. Congrats on 8 months! That is fantastic! I have a little over 6 months, and have found I rarely think about alcohol as well. It’s amazing how something that takes over your life so completely, can totally be removed and you adjust to a whole new lifestyle.

  3. Conrats on 8 months! Fantastic. Sorry about the rude dude, that would piss me off too. I was thinking of you last night, I’m going to adopt your attitude when it comes to sugar. Just for today I am not going to have any. Just for today….

  4. Congrats on 8 months Belle!
    AND the guy asked to take the leftovers?!? He was either very brave or very stupid. Maybe both.
    Rinse, lather, repeat… Perfect advice for most life situations.
    Congrats again!

  5. Groovy on eight months!! That guy reminds me of me at wine shows years back where I would linger late as the show ended and seeing if any of the reps would give up just opened bottles…lol.

    Funny, I *just* got off the phone with another alcoholic and at one point I asked him how he was doing, overall (he has 8 1/2 months sober) and he said very much what you did, Belle…he had a series of stressful days at work, but that was about it…no panic about drinking, no feel to reach, just…dealt with it. What a concept! So this is how *normal*people do it..ha ha. You are, as you say, embracing a new reality, and that’s amazing…what a shift from even a few months ago, I imagine. I am still adjusting to a “new normal”…in fact I had a few conversations with some other dudes about that today…but it’s a great new fact in our lives, isn’t it? We have gotten past the desperation and just-trying-to-get-through-the-day-not-drinking days right now into a new place, where we live and be in more peace and quiet.

    It so wonderful to see that going on with you…and the other lovely ladies here who have commented so far.

    Congrats on your eight months…it suits you well 🙂

    Paul

  6. Eight months is awesome. Actually, today is the most awesome. This moment when I met you is divine. Because I’m sober and drug-free, and so are you. Live today, girl. much respect, /Guinevere

  7. Congrats on 8 months, Belle!!

    It is encouraging to hear the thought of drinking goes away.

    I am 18 days without a drink and 26 out 27 days sober! It is easier everyday – just like you said, Belle. And, those first few days were hell. And, now they are behind me.

    Irritating day today and staying at a hotel. I use to love the hotel bar! Tonight, I marched right down and got a club soda w/ lime and brought it to my room. …pass the drinkers and all the booze. The fizzy still sounds good. The booze was not even appealing. See…it’s getting better! Just as all my sober bloggers friends have promised!

    It is helpful to hear what 8 months of sobriety is like! Encouraging and hopeful words! Thank you.
    Jenny

    1. Atta girl, Jenny, sounds like you are past the hardest part and on to the next phase. I am very proud of you for sticking with it; 26 out of 27 rocks and Day 18 is a Great Day. Day 19 will be too. Stay the course and before you know you it’ll be five or six months and the weeks will just be flowing by like maple syrup on pancakes with blueberries: delightful, attainable and good for you too.

  8. That is just 88 shades of awesome – as are you. In no time we will be having a huge one year party for you. You are fabulous. I love your blog and I love your penpalery (even though I’ve been a bit quiet of late). Carry on being amazing one rinse at a time lady.

    Also, I totally remember when that thought struck when I’d quit smoking – that I’d just gone through some big stressful thing and the thought of smoking hadn’t even occurred to me until I realised it hadn’t occurred to me. That’s a major addiction turning point I reckon.

    As for the dude, what a schmuck! I mean, seriously, it’d be rude to have asked for takeaway even if he WAS hiring you. To do so when he wasn’t and had taken up a bunch of your time. What a cockwad. I can only hope he has every intention of hiring you at a later date and that is why he thought it was ok. Actually, no, I don’t hope that because you don’t want to work for someone that inconsiderate – they’d no doubt want more than was reasonable anyway. Pah!

    xxx

  9. Congrats on 8 months! Wow! Is the word that comes to my mind … I can’t imagine to be in your shoes … I read almost all your blog today, and I am so inspired by you and how brave you are. I am mom of three leaving a comment all the way from the northen countries … I live in such a small community and with that, I feel so stuck … I feel like I can’t even blog in my on language, that everybody would know that was me and what a shame that would be, to me and my family. I am having a problem with my drinking, It’s all I can think about … I am beating my self up everyday … I did six days last week and I will try again, and again until I reach my goal of not drinking at all.

    All the best to you
    vandamamma
    ( sorry for my english, I am not so good in English spelling)

    1. Your english is fine. I hear that you are trying to quit and that you are having some successes. Keep trying, you will make it. Each day that we don’t drink is a good day and one we can be proud of and if we drink one day, we try again the next day and as often as we need to start again. Have faith in your own abilities to conquer the demon. Life without alcohol can be the best ever. It is for me, I quit and am very, very glad I did. You will be too. Give love to the babies and know that they will love having a real intact mom. You can email me if you want to. I will answer you as soon as I can. I take care of a three month old baby all week so somedays I cannot get to the computer until long after you have gone to bed. But i will reply to you, Vandamamma. LyndaMOtvos (at) gmail (dot) com

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