Tired of Thinking About Drinking

It’s just a mood, not a decision.

i’m fine. and sober. thanks for all the well wishes. i’m in the middle of my two-days-per-week of catering (thursday/friday) and so i’m busy and tired but i’m well.

i’m glad that i have the sober world full of very genius people who kindly share their useful (and often hilarious, and sometimes completly off-base) comments when I reach out with my ‘pangs’. I think having a cold was a real problem for me. not being able to taste, in my line of work, is crippling to say the least. i couldn’t cook meat because i couldn’t smell it to see if it was ‘off’ (it looked funny). we ate a lot of pasta earlier this week! i really was suffering from a woe-is-me feeling … and i seem to have mostly recovered. i’m back to running today, even though i still have a cough, hooray!

the other really great thing that i did – and that i’ve done before – is i decided “yes i am going to drink wine, but not tonight.” this approach is useful because I know that no matter what happens, i won’t make a rash, fuck-it, decision that i will regret. and usually after a few hours, or days, the feeling has passed, and i forget…

i actually used to feel this way about my very first career (teacher) when i was 21 years old. i’d graduated from the education program, went to work in a classroom, and a year later i stopped to do my master’s degree full-time.  and i never returned to the classroom. I used to say “when i wake up in the morning 7 days in a row wishing i was a teacher again, then i’ll go back to teaching. But if i just feel like being a teacher for a hour, or for a day, then that’s what you call a mood, and it’ll pass.”

thankfully i’m able to apply the same logic to drinking.  until i really want to do it continuously without wavering for days in a row, then the answer is NO, wait it out, it’s just a mood.  It’s just a mood, not a decision. And moods change.


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11 thoughts on “It’s just a mood, not a decision.

  1. Glad you are feeling better. Keep motoring. Cheers Paul.

  2. I like that approach. Moods change… They sure do. Keep feeling better! Don’t push the running if that cold is on your chest. Bronchitis and pneumonia are zero fun. xx

  3. It’s a wacky time of year and we’re all feeling it. Solidarity in Sobriety is called for, let’s circle the wagons, or sacrifice a virgin (I’m safe) or something. ; )

    I do the same thing you do, I still get a little melancholy when I think about a trip to some wine country without wine so I tell myself, “Maybe in five years…..”

  4. Oops! My winky face went in the wrong place. Oh well, fuck it! 😉

  5. Lynda M O on said:

    Sounds like a decent coping strategy to me. Go for it. I second up the commenters remark about taking care of the chest cold and not letting it get deeper. I really like the mood idea. They surely do change don’t they !~!

  6. debbie on said:

    When I first quit, i would say I’m quitting for now. Meaning later I could drink if the mood struck me…the mood hasn’t struck me yet
    And im couple of years in..but I still say im quitting for now. Whatever works to get you through those white knuckle moments. Glad u r feeling better..we all have those moments on our journeys. ((Hugs))

  7. Pingback: the smell of defeat lurking about … | Tired of Thinking About Drinking

  8. alixkirsti on said:

    Ha! I think I’ll take that on board. Not just for my drinking ( well, not drinking now) but also my job ( is it a job or work or profession or career?) as a teacher. I’ve done that for far too long ( pays well for a part time week so I stay stuck!). So “if I feel like being a teacher for an hour or a day, then that’s just a mood”. Ha ha, think I should quit then

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