making goo-goo eyes at the wine

And then last night, at the end of a very super exhausting week, at the end of a catered 3-course sit-down dinner for 10 guests [yes, #3 job/passion thingy is corporate catering, i’ve mentioned cake enough times in this blog that I probably gave it away – so Imogen wins, but i suspect she had insider help] — last night, at 12:30 a.m., i was faced with an open bottle of red wine, 3/4 of the bottle remaining.  it was just me.  husband was still out.

i quickly went through a thought process like this:

if ever there was a time to have a drink to celebrate and unwind, like normal people, then this would be the time. At the end of this week. This week was too busy. i have to scale back again. i said that exhaustion wasn’t going to make me want to drink and here i am, nearly 1 a.m., thinking that wine would be a good idea.  Come on now, would a normal person drink wine and then promptly go to bed? How could I even enjoy the wine? See, that’s not a normal desire to drink, that’s a desire to ‘fill the space’ with something. Normal people don’t drink wine in bed and then turn off the light and roll over and go to sleep. Yes, I need to scale back job #3, and yes i definitely (starting right now) need to be less tired.  Once that has been achieved, this oggling of wine will end. You’re only looking at the wine with goo-goo eyes because you’re exhausted.

And thankfully the feeling passed quickly. The bottle is in the kitchen, corked, and perhaps husband will drink it later this week.  Or i’ll freeze it for cooking.

During dinner last night, i expressed to one of my good clients who knows me well, that the big new client’s catering was a bit much this past week, and while happy for the work, i’m not thrilled with the KIND of work. i said to the client something like this:

I’ll just say this out loud so the universe can hear me, i’m grateful for the work, i’m thankful for the opportunity, it’s just that i’d like to do more baking and less meals. and i like having many small clients rather than being sucked dry by big giant clients.

then this morning, after 9 hrs sleep, the big client emails me their weekly order:  all baking, no meals. (were the meals last week bad? do they think i’m too expensive? was the cauliflower undercooked (it was).  i don’t care, this is what i asked for, more baking/less meals, and i’m gigantically relieved.) To make it even better, big client wants all of their baking delivered early which means a very early morning shift for me on Wednesday, for which i get to charge them a surplus. So I get to do what I want, i get to charge more, and i get to have a nap at noon for several hours after the job is delivered in my new cute little electric car.

all is well.  it’s very warm and sunny today so i’m going to sit outside in the sun and recharge MY electric batteries : )

Belle

I want to put this online, to hold myself accountable. I want to document the noise in my head. I'm tired of thinking about drinking. date of last drink: june 30, 2012

6 thoughts to “making goo-goo eyes at the wine”

  1. What, you doubt my awesome powers of deduction?! No inside help… i started pondering after your last post and made a lucky guess. The last minute-ness of it all made me think catering. It has to be done last minute and you seem to like baking. Physical, and all the new driving to deliver the food. It sounds very exciting!

    So. What do i win? 🙂

    May i have a pass to get access to your universe please? It’s giving you just what you want/need. Great stuff!

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